Forever Young: Growing Up
by Karen and LB
© 2002
Number 12 in the series.
"I am NOT touching that thing."
"C'mon, Chris, it's for the picture," Justin urges.
"No way."
"She's really tame. Look," Lance insists, running his fingers through the thick, soft fur of the cheetah.
"ONE picture. And if that thing goes anywhere near my hand you're gonna be wearing its fur tomorrow." Chris crouches down, leaving as much space between himself and the panting animal as possible.
Lance laughs to himself. They've only been in South Africa for two days but he's loved every minute of it. He still can't believe he's here, thousands of miles from home with the four friends he's come to think of as brothers. Well, three brothers and one very special friend. He sneaks a glance at JC, crouched next to Joey, and smiles.
JC grins back. He loves seeing Lance like this, his green eyes glittering happily in the bright sunlight as his love of animals shines from his face. Just then, the very "wild" animal the boys are having their picture taken with yawns, stretches, and rolls onto its side.
"WHOA!" Chris leaps back. "See what I mean? That thing is dangerous, man!"
"Aw, she's just a big ol' baby," Lance coos, rubbing the animal's stomach and scratching her neck.
"Kinda like you, Chris," Joey adds.
"Shut up. You know, this job isn't supposed to be dangerous. We're supposed to sing, dance, put on some shows. Not risk our lives with some killer animal."
"Shhhhhh, you're gonna upset her," Lance warns, winking at JC.
"Yeah, she is kind of looking at you funny, Chris."
"I think she likes you." Lance looks up at Chris, who has backed even farther away.
The photographer, who has been snapping away during the entire conversation, finally chimes in. "Okay, I think that's enough for today anyway."
"Good," Chris says, relieved. "Because I'm not sticking around for feeding time."
"She wouldn't eat you, anyway, Chris." Joey teases.
"Why not? This is prime beef, baby," remarks Chris, patting his stomach.
"It's something all right, but not prime." In response, Chris punches Joey, and the two head off for the van in a playful tussle.
Lance, still crouched by the sleepy cat, says to no one in particular, "She's really beautiful."
"She is," JC agrees, gently stroking the soft fur. "And now I know what to get you for your birthday," he adds with a mischievous smile.
"My mom would kill me."
"She'd be too busy killing me."
"Then that settles it. No cheetahs. Besides, I can think of better things to give me for my birthday."
"Such as?"
"The kind of stuff money can't buy."
"Yeah, and then you'll be complaining about your cheap boyfriend."
"Are you kidding? With the way things are going you're gonna be my rich boyfriend soon."
"And then you'll let me shower you with jewels and stuff?"
"Jewels? I want a car, dude!"
"So demanding. What happened to things money can't buy?" The cat is almost completely asleep, but JC continues to stroke the soft fur.
"Hey, Lance, JC--you guys coming or what?" Chris calls out.
Lance strokes the animal one last time and rises, helping JC up as well. "I'll buy the car myself; you can give me everything else."
"You got a deal."
They climb into the van and head off to their next interview/photo shoot; the whole day Lance's mind is filled with other thoughts, however.
JC, too, is lost in thought. He's trying to think of ways to make Lance's birthday special, faced again with the question of how to accomplish it in an unfamiliar country. At least he speaks the language here.
That night, another club, another crowd of screaming girls. The boys couldn't get enough of it. It was always fun playing to a new crowd and finding out they already knew the words to some of the songs. After, they hung out at the club, dancing and mingling with some of the fans. Lance still couldn't believe anyone would want his autograph; having a piece of paper with his signature scrawled on it seemed silly to him, but it made the girls happy so he happily obliged. He also watched JC; JC seemed so absorbed with whomever he was speaking and never let his attention stray. And damn, he looked so good.
It's incredible. That's the only word for it. Getting up on stage and singing every night, hearing the screams. And now, all these kids, wanting to talk, to be near him. And best of all, Lance, looking adorably abashed at all the attention.
The next day they are taken on a tour and visit a wildlife preserve. There are more pictures and more interviews, and very little time alone. That's one thing Lance regrets. He hardly ever gets time alone with JC anymore. They're not even sharing the same room on this trip. As they drive to the next interview, Lance sighs and stares out the window while the other boys sleep, fight, kid around. He hasn't even given much thought to the fact that tomorrow he turns 18.
After the interview, they get some downtime, and JC hopes he can get away long enough to go shopping for Lance.
Back at the hotel, Lance is just about to see if JC wants to get something to eat, but before he can even ask JC is nowhere to be seen. Puzzled and disappointed, Lance soon gets grabbed by Joey and the two head off together. Lance isn't in the mood for Joey's antics right now; he can't shake this sinking feeling in his gut that something's wrong.
JC is frustrated already. He can't get Lance something showy, because it would raise too many questions. And they have a show tomorrow night, so that will make it hard to spend time together. And he wants to do something special. They've been through so much in the past year.
The restaurant is noisy, but Lance needs the distraction. JC didn't even tell him where he was going. Just ran off like Lance didn't exist. Maybe he was getting tired of Lance being around all the time. Maybe he's finally tired of the relationship. Maybe Lance has been too clingy.
"...and watch some porn movies. What do you say?"
"Huh?"
"Lance, I might as well be eating by myself. Where you been?"
"Sorry, Joey. Just tired, I guess."
"Tired? Man, you're about to turn 18. You're in your prime. We gotta get you laid or something."
"Joey! Geez."
"What? I'm just trying to help."
"I don't want that kind of help. I'm doing fine on my own."
"You are? Are you holding out on me? You got someone back home we don't know about?"
"No." Lance states flatly. It's not really a lie.
"Well, you must have thought about it."
"Yeah, I think about it." I think about it all the time. But that just makes him think of JC again, and he picks absently at his food. What did he do to make JC run off like that?
JC wanders in and out of stores, finding nothing. He should have just stayed back at the hotel and spent some rare free time with Lance. He hopes belatedly that he didn't upset Lance by taking off.
After dinner, Joey and Justin want to see a movie, so Lance tags along. JC didn't even leave a note saying where he'd be. Chris has some phone calls to make, so he stays behind.
It's pretty late by the time JC gets back to the hotel, but at least he's not empty handed. He stashes his purchases in his room and goes looking for the other guys.
"They all went to a movie, dude. Where have you been?"
"Uh, I had some errands to do."
"Us, too." Chris jumps up. "Look what me and Justin got for all of us to give Lance tomorrow." Chris drags out of his closet the biggest stuffed animal JC has ever seen, which turns out to be a cheetah almost as big as Chris himself.
JC laughs. "He'll love it."
When Joey, Justin, and Lance return to the hotel, Lance debates going to JC's room. He decides to give his friend some space and instead heads up to his own room. He's bunking with Justin on this trip, and Justin, equally tired, follows him to the room.
"You okay, man?" Justin asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"
"I dunno. You were really quiet tonight."
"No, I'm fine. Really. Just tired."
"That's 'cause you're old."
"Am not."
"Are too. It's after midnight."
Lance checks his watch. So it is.
"Happy birthday, dude." Justin says, punching him lightly and slinging his arm around Lance's shoulders as they reach their door.
"Thanks." Lance opens the door and flops down on his bed. He wants to sleep for a week.
JC tries to listen for the guys' return, but for once the hotel's walls aren't paper thin and he somehow misses them. Feeling vaguely dissatisfied, he finally gives in and goes to sleep. "I'll make it up to him tomorrow," he mutters as he drifts off.
*****
The wake-up call rips Lance from deep sleep. He reaches out to the phone, misses, knocks it over with a groan. Justin rolls over and covers his head with his pillow. Lance sits up, yawning, and makes his way to the shower. They have 30 minutes to get ready for another full day. Lance stares at his reflection in the mirror. Was it just a year ago that he did the same thing? He thought 17 was a big deal. Now he's 18. His mother said she and his father would be moving back to Mississippi and Lance could get his own apartment. His OWN place. At 18. Normally, he'd be ecstatic, but now, with JC acting strangely, Lance was sure that JC was ready to break up.
JC comes into breakfast a little late, having stopped to consult with the front desk first. Everything's in place now, and there's a little bounce in his step. Until he sees Lance's face. He looks--tired. And sad. JC is filled with remorse. He goes over to sit near Lance. "Hey. Happy Birthday."
Surprised, Lance's head snaps up. "Oh, thanks." He returns his attention to the plate of food in front of him. It was the only seat left, he tells himself.
JC drops his voice. "I missed you yesterday. Sorry I took off--I had, um, stuff to do. But tonight will be better, okay?"
"Whatever."
"Lance," JC says, stung. "I said I was sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"You didn't. You need your space, I'll give it to you."
"I don't. I--" JC is cut off by Lynn calling to them to get in the van for the first appearance of the day. "Lance . . . " But Lance has walked away.
He's 18 and he's acting like a baby. He knows it. But he can't help being disappointed at not having spent any time alone with JC since they got here. And today doesn't look like it will be any better.
JC knows he messed up, but it still hurts when he sees Lance very deliberately take a seat as far away from JC as possible.
Lance sees the pain in JC's face, and he begins to feel his own resolve crumble. He would talk to his friend, but JC is all the way at the front of the van and he doesn't want to make a scene. Maybe later he'll have a chance. Maybe. If JC wants to. Which right now doesn't seem that way.
And the day doesn't get much better. JC is hyper aware of where Lance is at every moment, but can't seem to get close to him.
The boys have a couple of free hours in the late afternoon and Chris and Joey start dragging everyone into their room.
"C'mon, can't we just take a nap?" Lance whines. It's not like him to be so cranky, but this day is not getting any better.
"No, we can't." Chris intones.
"Why not?"
Joey practically dives on Lance. " 'Cause it's your birthday, dork."
The wind is almost knocked out of Lance as Joey crashes into him. "Can't we just pretend it isn't?"
"No. You're gonna have to deal with it whether you like it or not."
"I don't like it."
"Tough."
"Hey, it's my birthday, don't I have a say in this?"
Four voices reply, "No."
Lance sighs as Joey walks him to his bed. "Sit."
Like Lance has a choice with Joey's weight pressing on him. So he sits on the edge of the bed and waits nervously.
Chris is struggling in the closet again and Justin goes to help him as JC sits on the other bed. Chris and Justin manage to extract the huge, poorly wrapped parcel and carry it over to the bed. Joey pokes at it. "Strapping tape, dudes?"
"It was all we could find," Justin explains.
"Lance," Chris says formally. "This is a SMALL token of our esteem, in keeping with your mature years." He drops the huge parcel in Lance's lap.
It lands with a thud and almost sends Lance crashing to the floor, but he manages to regain his balance, laughing at the blob in his lap. "What the--" he begins, tearing away at what little paper there is. When his hand touches the fake fur, he laughs even harder. "You didn't. You did!" He heaves the oversized stuffed animal back and lands on the mattress. "You realize we're gonna have to buy this thing a seat on the plane going home."
"Nah, we'll just give him Justin's seat," Joey replies.
"Hey!" Justin yells. Joey grabs him in a headlock, and they tussle for a moment.
Lance sits up, still holding the toy. "Thanks, guys. This is really great. I mean, I doubt my mom would like it if I brought home the real thing."
"Hey, you're 18. Your mommy can't tell you what to do anymore." Chris reminds Lance with a grin.
"Yeah, and you know what?" Joey crows. "You're LEGAL! We are so going clubbing."
"Yeah? Yeah, I am, at least here. I think my mom's given up on me anyway. She and my dad are heading home after this tour. Sounds like a plan, Joey." He reaches out and seals it with a high five.
JC has been helping Justin with the cake they convinced room service to provide, and they bring it over to Lance, candles flickering. "Make a wish," he says solemnly.
The smile vanishes momentarily from Lance's face as he sees the pain in JC's eyes. How Lance wishes he could be alone with him right now! "Aw, you guys. Hey, that's a lot of candles."
"Yeah, man, and it's gonna set the room on fire so make a wish already," remarks Justin.
Lance turns his eyes up to JC. "Um, there's only one thing I really want." Then he closes his eyes and blows.
In the minute that their eyes meet, JC is convinced that whatever had been wrong is going to be okay. He busies himself passing out plates and forks, and by the time they're done eating it's time to get ready for the show that night.
"Oh no, we let Chris have cake! You know what that means--" Justin ducks as if in expectation of a bomb explosion.
"Why I oughta . . . " Chris fires back, jumping on Justin's back.
Lance watches, amused. He wants to take a mental snapshot of every moment they're all together. He never imagined how close they'd all get in such a short time, but it happened. "Thanks guys. This has been great." He heaves the giant animal under his arm as he heads to his room to get ready. As he passes JC, he uses the cat to paw lightly at JC's chest.
*****
That night's show passes quickly. The boys are full of energy and the crowd feeds them with their screams and applause. By the time the last notes of the final song are played, the crowd is on their feet begging for more. But as Lou always says, leave them hungry. So the boys bound off the stage, wiping the sweat from their bodies with towels and hustling quickly to their dressing room to collect their things.
Back at the hotel, Lance has just finished showering when Joey bursts through the door. "C'mon, buddy, time to party and make a man out of you."
In his own room, JC finishes drying his hair, then dresses carefully in his favorite jeans and the blue cashmere v-neck Lance had given him a while back. He runs upstairs to check on the much nicer room he had reserved just for tonight. Seeing that everything is perfect, he heads back down to Lance and Justin's room, rehearsing the story he'll use to assuage Justin's curiosity, if necessary.
*****
"You don't think we should have waited for JC and Chris?" Lance asks in the cab.
"They'll show up eventually. After JC finishes changing for the hundredth time. I didn't feel like waiting. I want to PAH-TY with the MAN!" Joey throws an arm around Lance and gives him a playful shake.
"You're just using this as an excuse to get loaded, Joey."
"Yeah, but there's no harm in that." The cab pulls up to the front of the small club and the two boys tumble out to a crowd of girls who immediately recognize them and begin to wave them over.
"What'd I tell you--they're waiting for you."
"Great," Lance mutters. He's looking forward to having some fun, but he was thinking more about fun with JC. But before he can go further with his thoughts, Joey pulls him inside, past the bouncer, who doesn't even check for ID.
*****
"Lance?" Justin looks puzzled. "Him and Joey left a while ago, dude. I keep telling you you take too long in the shower. Why? Were you and him supposed to do something?"
"Yeah, sort of."
"You wanna come in? I'm sorta stuck here because my mom said she'd kill me if I tried to get into a club."
"I-uh-no. I got some stuff to work on anyway."
"Are you okay? You look--I dunno--weird."
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. See you, Just."
JC wanders back to his room, stunned. Okay, Lance was mad about yesterday and all, but this . . . Lance knew he was planning something for him. He knew. Yet he took off with Joey.
JC decides he might as well be completely miserable and go spend the night alone in the room upstairs. He scrawls a note for Lance on the off chance that he might come back and use the spare key JC had wrangled, and leaves.
The noise and the heat from the crowd are making his head spin. Lance spent the past two hours looking around for JC in vain. He finally tells Joey he's going to the men's room, but he really just wants to find a phone. When he does, he has to shout over the music to the hotel desk clerk. But when he's finally connected with JC's room, the phone rings and rings. Where could he be? Lance just wants to get back to the hotel.
"Joey, I'm going back. My head is spinning."
"It's supposed to spin, dude. Dance it off."
"Nah, I'm really beat. But you stay. I think they'll cry if you leave now." Lance gestures to the two girls swaying behind Joey.
"You're right. We wouldn't want that. You'll be okay? I mean, this was your big day. I don't feel like I lived up to my obligation to make you a man."
Lance laughs. "I'm fine. This was fun. Really. Knock 'em dead, Joe." Lance claps him on the back and heads out to the cool night air. When he arrives back at the hotel, he knocks softly at JC's door. There's no answer; he hesitates, then uses the key JC had given him earlier. He needs to apologize, and if JC throws him out, so be it. "Josh? You asleep?" he asks softly. The untouched bed tells him everything he needs to know. JC is gone. Lance sinks to the mattress, head in his hands, when he hears the crunch of paper under his butt. After turning on the bedside lamp he finds the note JC left. But he doesn't move. Upstairs? What's JC doing upstairs? He might be buzzed, but Lance knows there's only one way to find out.
The walk down the hallway seems endless, but when he finally reaches the room, Lance begins to lose his nerve. This was supposed to be THE night. He'd already made up his mind. But now, with the possibility that JC wants to break up with him . . . He almost turns around and heads back to his room, but something stops him. Something about the way JC looked at him today. The sadness. So he makes a fist and raps lightly on the door.
JC has been lying on the bed for hours, watching the single tall, elegant candle burn down. Trying to convince himself that it's only the bright, fluttering flame in the dark room that's making his eyes water. When he hears the knock, he jumps up eagerly, than chastises himself for his stupidity. As he walks toward the door, he catches a glimpse of himself in a mirror. Even in the gloom, he can see how red-rimmed his eyes are. "Great," he mutters. "I already look dumped."
JC takes a deep breath and opens the door.
When Lance sees JC's bloodshot eyes, his own start to water. "I'm so sorry. So sorry." And he throws his arms around his friend. "I can be such an asshole."
JC stands stiffly. "I guess you had it right this morning: whatever."
Lance releases JC, and steps back, stunned. This is really it. JC really does want to break up and this is his way of doing it. "I-I guess I'll go then."
"Why? Don't you want to see what I was doing for you while you were figuring out how to dump me?" JC steps back to give Lance a clear view of the large, beautiful room, the champagne, the wrapped gifts splattered with dripping wax.
Lance backs up, shell-shocked. "Break up with you?" He gazes at the setting in front of him. "I don't want to break up with you. I thought YOU wanted to break up with ME."
"Break up with you?" JC draws Lance into the room and shuts the door. "I love you. You have no idea how I felt when I got this all ready and came to get you and you were gone."
"I thought you were coming to the club with me and Joey. You never showed up. Shit."
"I didn't know where you'd gone. Justin only told me you left with Joey."
"Joey dragged me off. He said you were still getting ready. Man, what a mess. I'm so sorry. I only wanted to spend the night with you."
"Me, too. But it's not even your birthday anymore. I didn't even get to give you one kiss."
"Technicalities. It's still the night, so it still counts. Besides, you have a whole day to make up for. That's a lot of kisses."
JC reaches out and pulls Lance into his arms, but instead of kissing him, he lets his head drop to Lance's shoulder as he embraces him. He holds on for a long time, before he finally chokes out, "I missed you so much."
Lance clutches JC, afraid to let go. "I missed you too. All I wanted was some time alone with you."
"I thought you didn't love me anymore."
"Where did you get such a crazy idea?" Lance pulls back and takes JC's face in his hands. "Look at me. I love you more than anything."
"I guess I've just been really insecure since the whole thing with my parents."
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize . . . I mean, I should have realized. But Josh, you don't have to be insecure with me. I'm not gonna leave you. Not unless you want me to."
In answer, JC finally, tentatively kisses Lance, his lips moist and warm against the younger boy's cool, smooth mouth.
Lance responds immediately. He covers JC's timid lips with his own, opening them slightly so his tongue can just graze the surface.
JC slides his hands up to cup Lance's face, his thumbs caressing his cheekbones, and their tongues meet tantalizingly.
The sense of comfort Lance feels is indescribable. He doesn't want to move, doesn't even want to breathe for fear of ruining this perfect moment.
JC breaks their kiss and lays his cheek against Lance's, arms again tightening around Lance as if he were going to lift the younger boy off his feet.
And Lance does feel like he's floating. Like the ground has just disappeared and the two of them are suspended in the air. And that's when he notices his surroundings. "Wait a sec . . . this room. How . . . why?"
"Huh? Oh, I, um, well, we spend so much time in hotel rooms, but not like this." JC takes Lance's hand and leads him deeper into the room. "I wanted to give you the kind of room you deserve, even if it's just for tonight." As they glance around, the candle sputters out, plunging them into darkness.
Lance can't help it. After all the tension, all the emotion, the timing was perfect. He bursts out laughing, doubling over and knocking into something. "Ow!" he yelps, still laughing. "JC, you . . . really . . . shouldn't have." At this point, he can hardly breathe.
JC feels his way over to the desk and switches on the lamp. "Fine. Make fun of me," he grouses. But there is laughter in his voice, too.
"I'm sorry." Lance is still trying to catch his breath when he sees that he had banged into the edge of the dresser and is now standing in the middle of a large room. MUCH larger than the rooms they were assigned to. "Wow." He stops laughing as he sees what JC has done.
JC looks at Lance hopefully. "You like?"
"I-I don't know what to say. How'd you do all this?"
JC goes over to his bag and rummages in it, locating the second candle from the pair he'd bought and fitting it into the candlestick. "Oh, I--I went shopping yesterday."
Lance falls back on the floor. Shopping. Why had he assumed JC was trying to avoid him? Why did he even think that? "Shopping. You went shopping. I thought . . . man, I'm so stupid."
JC lights the candle and switches off the lamp. "Remind me never to try to surprise you again."
"Are you kidding? I love surprises. I just wasn't thinking . . . I mean, I thought you were trying to avoid me." He pushes himself up and gazes around. "This is . . . wow." He rises, walking around the room and touching everything. "I don't know what to say. This is so cool."
"I just wanted it to be special for you."
It? Does JC know what he's been thinking? "W-what do you mean?"
"Your birthday. I wanted it to be special."
"Oh. It is. It really is." Lance stops in front of the candle, staring at the flickering flame.
"Would you like some champagne? Or cake? Or your presents?"
"Yes, yes, and yes." Lance smiles devilishly and sits down on the bed, bouncing lightly.
"All three at once?" JC grins as he lifts the champagne from the ice bucket and begins untwisting the wire.
"Yeah, it's my birthday. Okay, so maybe not all at once. But I wanna know what's in those packages."
"You can open the small flat one while I get this bottle open."
Lance locates the object and tears at the paper. "Oh my gosh, I love this picture." He fingers the faces as thought they're two people other than themselves. Doesn't anyone notice how they look at each other? Have they really been able to keep their relationship secret?
JC sits next to Lance and hands him a flute of champagne. He raises his glass. "To next year being even better than last."
"That's gonna be a hard one to top." He raises his glass, touches it to JC's, and takes a sip. "Mmmm. Wow!" He hasn't had too much champagne in his life, but this definitely tastes different. Better than any he's had before.
Sipping his own champagne, JC watches Lance and smiles. He leans forward and brushes his lips against Lance's, seeking to discover which tastes better, the wine or Lance. Lance does.
Lance licks his lips, savoring the sweet tingle of the champagne mixed with JC's unique flavor. "That's delicious."
"Yeah? I think I need another taste." JC takes another sip and leans in for another, longer, more lingering kiss.
Lance's flicks out his tongue, licking the surface of JC's wet lips, then his teeth, then his tongue.
JC lifts his free hand to the back of Lance's head, letting his fingers play along the line where his hair meets the soft skin of his neck, as the kiss lingers and deepens.
Responding in kind, Lance's free hand drifts to JC's waist, pulling him closer on the bed. A little champagne sprays out of his glass, and he pulls back, laughing nervously. "Sorry. I guess I should put this down."
"I think you need more." JC picks up the bottle and fills Lance's glass again. Then he reaches for another of the wrapped packages. "And I think you need this."
Before unwrapping the present, Lance takes another sip of the bubbly beverage, already beginning to feel the effects on top of the drinks he'd had earlier. He carefully puts his glass on the floor and once again tears away the wrapping paper. He can smell it before he even sees what it is. It's a leather-bound agenda, made from a similarly tooled leather like the kind used on the bracelet Lance gave JC for his birthday last year. And then he spends minutes looking it over, turning the pages, wondering what appointments and schedules he'll fill it with. "This . . . this is just what I need. I love it! Now I'll really be able to keep track of everything." He studies it again and again, each blank page waiting to be filled. "And I love you. Thank you." He leans over and, still holding the book, presses his lips against JC's.
"I love you, too," JC says when they at last break apart. "And I know you sometimes think people don't take you seriously. That's to say that I do."
"Thanks. It's good to know. I really do like the business side of this business. I know the rest of the guys think it's a drag, but I don't. I want to like, be part of the whole process." He stares at the book. "That was really cool of you, to think of this."
"Heck, I just walked in and out of stores till I saw things that made me think of you. One more."
This box is much smaller, and Lance can already tell from the size that it's probably some item of jewelry. "Oh my gosh," he exclaims when he lifts the lid, revealing a simple but beautifully crafted antique gold cross. He lets the box fall to the carpet as he holds up the necklace, mesmerized as the candlelight plays off its surface. "Josh, you didn't have to . . . this is beautiful." He hurriedly removes the cross he's currently wearing and replaces it with the new one.
"Yeah, I did. I knew it would be perfect on you." With one finger, JC traces down the chain and touches the cross where it lies against Lance's breastbone.
Lance swallows, feeling the first stirrings of arousal. "You're incredible, you know that?" He bites his lip, then leans in for another kiss.
JC smiles into the kiss, pleased that Lance likes his gifts, and even more pleased that they've gotten beyond whatever it was that freaked them both today.
Lance puts more of his weight into the kiss, lowering them both to the mattress. "I probably don't deserve you," he says, when they're laying down, facing each other.
JC smiles, stroking Lance's cheek. "Why? I'm not good enough for you?"
"You're more than I deserve."
"You deserve whatever you want. You deserve everything."
"We both do. Listen to us. We're crazy." Lance giggles, touching his forehead to JC.
JC grins. "Crazy in love with you."
Lance rolls over, landing on top of JC. "You're insane." He dips his head and buries his head in JC's shoulder, tugging at the sweater to gain better access to the smooth skin underneath.
"Maybe a little. But not a danger to myself or others. Hey! Careful! You gave me this sweater and I don't want it all pulled out of shape."
"Then take it off."
"So forceful. But if that's what you want . . . " JC rolls Lance off of him and sits up, stripping the sweater off in one graceful movement. "Is this better?"
Lance runs a finger down JC's chest. "Much better." His fingers linger at the slowly forming bulge at JC's crotch.
JC sinks back down onto the bed, reaching for Lance's own shirt with eager hands, struggling a little with its buttons.
"I thought I was supposed to be the one opening presents."
"Oh, but I can't have you doing all the work."
"You call this work?"
"Nooo . . . Well, then YOU take your shirt off. Please?"
"Since you asked so nicely." But even Lance, with his slight buzz, is having trouble with the buttons. Finally, he gets them open and shrugs off the shirt. As he lays back down, he lets his hand play over the smooth, cool skin of JC's chest.
JC pulls Lance closer, so their chests are pressed together, and feels the warmth of Lance's smooth chest. He guides Lance's mouth to his and tastes the sweet champagne-and-Lance flavor of it.
Lance pulls JC on top of him, drawing his knees up on either side of JC's lithe frame, and wraps his arms around the older boy's back. His hands travel down JC's spine and over the swell of his tight ass. He gives it a good squeeze, loving the feel of the muscles through JC's jeans.
JC's tongue dips into Lance's mouth again and again, savoring the taste and texture of his mouth. He can feel the heat forming between their pressed- together bodies and rolls his hips against Lance's, raising the temperature a few degrees.
Lance's fingers slide into the waistband of JC's pants, but they can only go so far. He lifts JC a few inches away and brings his hand to the front of his pants, where he rubs the hot bulge at his crotch.
JC moans and slides his mouth down over Lance's chin to his sensitive neck, licking over the curve of his Adam's apple, then blowing on the wet path his tongue has left. He rocks his hips, pressing his erection hard into Lance's hand.
Like the cat they saw yesterday, Lance cranes his neck and practically purrs. He brings his hands back up JC's chest, over the strong muscles, seeking out and finding one perfect, round nipple. He flicks his thumb back and forth over the hard peak, then brings the finger to his mouth and rubs the wet digit over it once again.
JC moves lower, his mouth skimming over Lance's chest until he, too, finds a nipple. With his mouth, he imitates what Lance is doing with his finger. He can hear Lance's heart beating, can feel it through his lips.
"Josh," Lance moans. "Josh, we don't have to stop tonight."
JC looks up with lust-clouded eyes. "What?"
Lance feels the heat rise from his toes to the top of his head. "We don't have to stop. At all. I think . . . I mean, I know I'm ready."
JC almost can't believe he's hearing what he's hearing--something he's waited patiently for. "I--are you sure?" he manages, hoarsely.
"Yeah. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. We've been together for over a year. That's enough commitment for me."
JC raises himself to look down into Lance's eyes. "I love you so much. You won't regret this."
"I know. I'm just sorry I waited this long."
"No. We always said we'd wait till the time was right." JC kisses Lance very tenderly. "Some things are worth waiting for."
Lance welcomes the kiss; his body begins to tingle with anticipation. He's fantasized about this night for so long, and now it's coming true. But suddenly, he feels shy all over again. He gazes down between their bodies, then back at JC's face. He kisses his lips, his cheek, his ear, and then he whispers, "Make love to me, Josh."
JC feels the whisper right down to his toes. He only hopes he can be good enough, gentle enough. "I've never done this before," he says seriously. "So you have to tell me if I hurt you, or if anything doesn't feel right, or if you change your mind and want to stop."
Lance puts a finger to JC's lips. "Shhhhh. I want to. And I know it's gonna feel great. I love you."
JC kisses Lance's finger, gazing down at him. Holding Lance's eyes with his, he opens his lips and takes the finger in, tracing the nail with his tongue.
Lance's eyes cloud over with desire, and he thrusts his hips upward against JC's. He pushes the finger a little further into JC's moist, warm mouth and closes his eyes, savoring the sensation.
JC continues caressing Lance's finger with his tongue as his hand moves down over Lance's smooth chest to tease at a still hard nipple. His hips meet Lance's upward thrusts and their erections press together tantalizingly, heatedly.
With just the fingertips of his other hand, Lance strokes JC's chest lightly. His pants have become uncomfortably tight as he continues to grind his hips against JC's.
JC straightens one of Lance's bent knees so he can slide off him to one side. Pulling Lance's finger from his mouth, JC gives one final kiss to the tip of the digit before dropping his head to Lance's chest once again. His hand slips down to cup and caress the hot bulge in Lance's pants.
Lance's lips part and he pants softly as he moves against the hand. He reaches up and tangles his own hand in JC's hair, each strand like silk against his fingers.
JC kisses and licks his way over the surface of Lance's chest, as he reaches for the button of Lance's jeans. There's an audible sigh from Lance when JC pops the button, so he unzips the jeans as well, allowing just the tips of his fingers to slip into the opening.
Squirming under the touch, Lance bites his lip to keep from coming right then and there. The build-up of what they're about to do has made him more aroused than he's ever been; a mere touch from JC is enough to send him over the edge. But he controls himself, because he knows the actual act of making love will be much better than anything they've done up to this point. And that's saying a lot.
JC pushes his hand deeper into Lance's open jeans, rubbing against his erection though the thin fabric of his briefs. As Lance's breathing becomes more ragged, JC slides his hand through the opening in the briefs, grasping the hot, twitching hardness. His mouth moves from one hard nipple to the other, teasing it to an equally tight peak.
The noises from Lance's throat become louder as JC's hand probes further into his clothing. He shudders with pleasure as JC's tongue toys with his nipples; his head whips from side to side as he strives to maintain control.
JC pulls away, regretfully, as if the time it will take to remove the rest of Lance's clothing will be months rather than seconds. He moves to the foot of the bed to remove Lance's shoes and socks, toeing his own shoes off at the same time. He reaches for the waistband of Lance's jeans, whispering "lift up," and when Lance raises his hips, he slides them and his briefs over his thighs and down his legs. He runs his hands up the long, smooth dance- developed muscles of Lance's legs, then drops back into his spot next to Lance. "So beautiful," he murmurs, before taking Lance's chin in his hand to bring their mouths together in another lingering kiss.
Moaning into the kiss, Lance can hardly believe he's here, with this gorgeous boy, about to lose his virginity. But he's not scared, just a little nervous, hoping that JC won't be disappointed and regret ever getting involved with him. As their kiss deepens, Lance is reassured that this is exactly what he wants. He runs his fingers down JC's chest, over the ripples of his well- defined abs, finally stopping at the button of his baggy pants. He flicks this open as he's done before, but he slides his hand in eagerly, hungrily, wanting desperately to touch the heat within.
JC groans deep in his throat, pressing up to meet Lance's questing hand. His own hand moves downward again, surrounding Lance's erection, stroking firmly and slowly.
Lance begins small thrusts in time with JC's rhythm as his own hand cups the hardened member straining inside JC's pants. He struggles to get the clothing over JC's hips so he'll have better access.
JC rolls away enough to allow Lance to remove the rest of his clothing, then slides the full length of his lean body against the younger boy, loving the sensation of skin pressing on skin, erection on erection, mouth on mouth.
His heart pounding in his chest, Lance devours JC's mouth. His arms wrap around JC's back, and his hands glide along the smooth, warm skin all the way to his tight ass. He cups each cheek and pulls his friend closer, so their erections rub against each other tantalizingly.
JC has never been more aroused in his life. He breaks their kiss, only to drop kisses all over Lance's face--his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose. When he reaches Lance's mouth, he pants, hardily aware that he's even speaking. "Lance, I wanna, I wanna . . . "
Lance feels his voice catch in his throat, so he just nods. He covers JC's mouth with his own, hoping that's answer enough.
JC draws the kiss out, trying to communicate to Lance the depth of his emotion. As he explores every inch of Lance's hot mouth, he reaches to the nightstand and pulls out the articles he's left there. Only then does he pull back from the kiss, looking down at Lance a little sheepishly. "I, um, it's-- well, it's not like I planned this tonight, but ever since we almost . . . a couple of months back, I've um, tried to be prepared."
Lance laughs, relieved there's something to break the tension that's been building up inside him. "It's okay. I've been carrying around a condom in my wallet for months."
"Do you want me to use one? I haven't been with anyone since way before we got together, and they tested us for everything imaginable before we came here." JC winces at the memory of all those needles.
Lance considers this for a moment. He knows this isn't something to be taken lightly, and he and his parents have had enough embarrassing talks about this. But JC's right; they did test them for everything. "Would you think I was a slut if I said no?"
"Of course I wouldn't." JC kisses the tip of Lance's nose. "I just want you to feel good and feel safe."
"I do feel safe with you. And I trust you completely. And . . . I only want to be with you."
JC smiles down at Lance, stroking his face with gentle fingers. "I feel the same."
Lance studies JC's face in the flickering candlelight. He sees only sincerity in his boyfriend's eyes, and although Lance is now becoming nervous over what they're about to do, he knows that JC would never take this lightly. "Good. Because it's about time we took this to the next level."
JC dips his head to kiss Lance's lips sweetly. "Do you know how much I love you?"
Looking down between their bodies at their twin erections, Lance replies, "I think I'm starting to get the message."
JC laughs. "Here I am being all romantic and all you can think about is sex." He punctuates his words by nibbling on Lance's earlobe.
"I'm 18--isn't that what I'm supposed to think about? Unless you'd just like to talk for a while."
"Shut up and kiss me."
Smiling, Lance complies, parting his lips slightly and closing his mouth over JC's. His eyes close as he kisses JC again and again, and his body begins to tingle again as he readies himself for JC's next move.
His lips never leaving Lance's, JC rolls off of Lance, letting his hand trace down Lance's body until he again encloses his stiffness. He strokes at the hot flesh until he hears Lance's breathing quicken, then drops his hand lower to cup and fondle his balls. With his knee, JC nudges Lance's legs apart, letting his hand move even deeper, touching sensitive flesh and brushing over the small opening. JC breaks their kiss to take a deep breath. He just wants to do this right.
Lance tenses momentarily, then keeps his eyes focused on JC. He traces the contours of JC's face with his fingertips, then braces himself.
JC reaches for the lube he'd gotten out of the drawer earlier and spreads some on his fingers, then slides them between Lance's legs once more. Very carefully, he presses one lubricated finger into the puckered opening, ready to stop at the least sign of discomfort.
At first, Lance feels a tremor of shock at the intrusion, but then he relaxes as a wave of pleasure washes over him. He reaches up and grips JC's shoulders needing to touch him, to hold him.
"Okay, baby?" JC asks as he pushes in more deeply.
Slightly embarrassed, more aroused, Lance nods. "It feels great."
JC smiles a slow, sweet, sexy smile. "Good." He feels Lance relaxing, so he ventures another finger, still watching Lance's face carefully. Lance winces, more afraid of what he might feel than what he's actually feeling. In truth, it doesn't hurt at all, and he begins to relax and overcome the embarrassment he originally experienced. The fact that JC is so willing to participate in such an intimate act turns Lance on more than he imagined.
JC closes his eyes and captures Lance's lips with his again. His fingers find a rhythm, pumping into Lance steadily, readying him for what is to come.
Lance rocks in time to the probing digits while parting his lips and welcoming in JC's tongue.
JC is thrilled by how responsive, how pliant, how open Lance is. More than he could even have hoped. He knows the time has come to take the final step together.
With a sigh, Lance turns his head and reaches for the lubricant. His hands shake slightly as he flips open the top and squeezes some of the clear gel into his palm, then rubs his hands together and brings them to JC's waiting erection. He slides his hands up and down the shaft, spreading the slick substance generously along its length, all the while relaxing more and more to the fingers inside him.
Lance's careful hands slicking over him are almost too much for him, but JC draws in a few deep breaths and holds on. When Lance has finished preparing him, he removes his fingers and positions himself over Lance. Looking intensely into Lance's eyes, he presses himself carefully into his lover.
Lance squeezes his eyes shut and turns his head away at the first instance of penetration. He gasps as JC's thick member pushes tentatively inside him but he is so filled with desire that he only wants more.
"Baby? You okay? You want me to stop?"
"No, oh my gosh, please don't stop. It feels . . . so good."
"You feel so good." Understatement. JC has never felt so surrounded by heat, by tightness. He drops his head to kiss Lance's neck, stretched deliciously by the way Lance's head is turned. He pushes in a little deeper, then starts moving in Lance, in a way too slow and subtle to be called thrusting.
Lance groans. He's never experienced anything so intimate, so intense in his entire life. And he knows he'll never forget this exact moment when he felt closer to JC than he ever did. He clutches JC tightly as a thin sheen of sweat forms on his forehead.
JC kisses his way up to Lance's ear, whispering "I love you," hotly, damply. He reaches for Lance's erection, stroking in the same slow, sensuous rhythm as his hips are rocking into Lance.
A small cry escapes Lance's throat as the dual stimulation hits him at once. His back arches and he squeezes his eyes shut as he finds himself urging JC in even farther.
Encouraged by Lance's reactions, JC thrusts a little harder, a little deeper, a little faster. His hand on Lance's erection follows the same pattern. And he can't stop kissing Lance's ear, his hair, his neck, his face.
Whimpering now from the intensity of the pleasure, Lance writhes under the weight of JC pressing on him, into him. He feels as though he will explode, and he knows if JC keeps this up he will soon enough.
Making love to Lance is all JC had dreamed of and more. Sure, he's had sex before, but it was never like this. Never this close. Never this loving. Never making love. And he knows he's too aroused to keep going much longer.
"Baby, I can't . . . Baby, I'm gonna . . . Love you so much . . . " he murmurs, not even aware that he's speaking.
Lance hears the words, knows what they mean, but his body just moves in time to the rhythm JC has created. The hand on his heated erection is too much for Lance, though, and he cries out, loudly this time, as his body convulses against his lover.
Lance's cry, his surrender, bring together for JC the pure physicality and the pure emotion of what they are doing. His orgasm is practically torn from him, and he sobs Lance's name again and again, still kissing his boy's face.
When his orgasm finally subsides, Lance's body continues to tremble, whether from the chill of the sweat covering his skin or from the forcefulness of his orgasm, he doesn't know. All he knows is that he wants to stay like this forever, joined with the boy he loves.
They lie, entwined, for a long time, heartbeats and breathing returning to normal. Finally, JC lifts himself off Lance, collapsing next to him and immediately gathering him into his arms again.
Lance lets out a long, deep sigh and curls up next to JC. "Wow," is all he can manage. "So that's what it's all about, huh?"
"Yeah. It's not always that . . . intense, but yeah." JC wipes at his still damp cheeks. "I've never, like, cried before."
Lance had his back to JC but now turns to face him. "Wow, you really are crying." He brushes the tears with his fingertips and smiles. "I'm sorry I made you cry."
"Nah. It's like, when I was little, my mom would say she was crying because she was happy, and I didn't get what she meant. I do now." This is the first time JC has voluntarily mentioned his mother since the painful events of his coming out, but he's too happy even to think about it. "I guess I was never this happy before."
"You should be this happy all the time. No one should ever make you unhappy." Lance kisses the spot on JC's cheek where his finger had just been, then presses his lips to JC's soft, moist ones. "It's gonna be okay, you know that. Now that we're . . . you know."
"I know." JC tightens his arms around Lance. "How are you doing? Did I hurt you?"
The heat rises in Lance's cheeks at the question. "Um, no. It was...you were . . . great. But I don't think I'm gonna be dancing very well tomorrow. I mean, worse than usual." Then it hits him: He's not a virgin anymore. And he doesn't feel guilty about it because he's with the boy he loves. This wasn't some random, crass act of sex. They made love.
"You just need to be revived is all. And I know just how to do it." JC jumps up and walks over to the table. He glances back. "Get under those covers, babe. You look cold." He returns his attention to the table, cutting a large piece of the rich chocolate torte. He lights the candle and brings it back to the bed. In a repeat of the afternoon, he looks down at Lance seriously and says, "Make a wish."
"It already came true."
With a smile that can only be described as sappy, JC climbs under the covers, propping pillows against the headboard so they can sit up comfortably. He gathers Lance to him so the younger boy is cradled against his chest, then takes a forkful of cake and offers it to him.
"I feel like I'm five again. Only naked." But he closes his eyes and opens his mouth anyway, and as the rich, chocolatey confection touches his tongue he moans again in ecstasy. It's like sex all over again, having his lover feed him this incredible, sensual concoction. "Mmmmmmmmm, oh that is SO good."
"You don't sound five."
"How do I sound?" Lance touches his chocolate kissed lips to JC's.
"Like the sexiest guy on the planet."
Lance breaks off a piece of the cake and brings it to JC's mouth. "Sexy? I'm sexy? If I'm sexy, you're...man, there aren't even words."
"Mmmm," JC sighs around the cake and fingers in his mouth. "Yes, you're sexy. And you don't even know it, which makes it even more sexy."
"Oh, I'm really sexy right now, all sweaty with cake all over me." He removes the fingers from JC's mouth and licks off the remainder of the cake with his own tongue.
"Cake all over? We'll have to fix that." JC spots a crumb which has fallen to Lance's chest and leans in to lick it off.
While JC is busy, Lance swipes some frosting off the plate and dabs it on the other side of his chest. "Uh oh, I'm making a mess of myself."
"Gee, Lance. Messy eater much?" JC nibbles the frosting off Lance's skin as well.
"We'd better be careful or we're gonna have a lot of explaining to do when the maid comes to clean. Oh shit, how are we gonna explain this to the guys?"
"Simple. You came to talk to me about something when you got back. Since it was late, you decided to crash in my room instead of waking up Justin. And we get up early and sneak back downstairs. Or we could tell them there was a problem in my room and the hotel moved me upstairs for the night while they fixed it."
"You think of everything." Lance falls back against the pillow. "You know, birthdays are way too much work. I think for yours we're just gonna have to lock ourselves up in my apartment."
"We can do that. If we're, like, on the same continent as your apartment." JC scoops up some frosting and licks it off his finger. "So, if we're gonna sneak downstairs early, we should probably think about getting some sleep."
"But I'm not <yawn> . . . never mind." Lance stretches, spent, a little achy, but definitely happy. He turns onto his side and backs up into JC. "You know, if we're gonna do this a lot you're gonna have to learn not to hog the covers."
"I do NOT hog the covers. I'm just taller. I require more square footage." JC slips his arm around Lance's waist, pulling him tightly against his chest and snuggling in contentedly. "You know, this is still the best part."