Me, Myself and JC: Duet for One
by Karen and LB
© 2002
This one came out of some discussion about how Justin gets all the attention. Nothing against Justin, but, hey, he does. It turned into an experiment for us. Part one is an internal dialogue--Lance and Lance. Part two is our more usual Lance and JC, but without premeditation, we each took the opposite POV to the one we normally write. Which was a challenge, to say the least. We hope you feel we lived up to it.
Disclaimer: Um, Lance doesn't talk to himself to our knowledge.
The boys are rehearsing for yet another talk show performance, and the director instructs the cameraman to focus on Justin because "all the kids dig him and it's all about ratings, ratings, ratings."
What do they know? Teen People is the real authority and we were named two of the 25 hottest under 25.
Yeah, but, even they invited JUSTIN to host.
I mean, look at him. He thinks he's hot stuff. But look at JC; JC does that same move and somehow, it's just so . . . sexy.
Whoa! Where did THAT come from?
Shut up. You know he's hot. You watch him every day. And when you're alone at night and you get 'that feeling' who do you think you're thinking about, hmmmm?
No one. NO ONE.
Liar. You check him out every chance you get. When you're rehearsing new choreography. When you're shooting hoops. When you're doing some talk show. Your eyes just keep drifting over to him. Stop being such a wuss and just admit it: You dig JC.
I can't. I don't.
Stop doing that. You're in denial, dude. Remember yesterday? When you were all choosing clothes for that photo shoot and JC had his shirt off? You couldn't keep your eyes off him. Remember how great he looked? C'mon, you're feeling it even now. Stop lying to yourself.
But I shouldn't be feeling ANY of this.
Why not?
'Cause it's WRONG, that's why.
WRONG? What the heck does that mean? WRONG? What's so wrong about liking someone?
It's not just LIKING, that's what.
Yeah, and?
And everything I've even been taught says it's wrong . . .
But what does your HEART tell you? Just 'cause someone says something's wrong--does that make it so? Remember when Mr. Yerger was teaching you history, and he told you about how black people used to have to sit at the back of the bus and couldn't eat in certain restaurants and stuff. People said it was wrong to let blacks into their schools. But THEY were wrong. So if someone tells you it's wrong for you to like JC, does that make it right? Do you always go with what people tell you?
When it's the Bible and my minister and my parents, yeah.
But sometimes, don't you think what they're telling you is wrong? Remember, it's not the same world your parents grew up in. You know a lot of guys and girls who are . . . different. Are they terrible people?
N-n-nooo.
See? So what is SO terrible about you digging JC? JC is one of the greatest people you ever met. He is so nice and so cool and always listens to you. And he's hot. Let's face it, he's HOT.
Yeah, he is, isn't he?
Very. So what are you gonna do about it, wuss?_
Nothin'. Why would someone like JC be interested in ME?
Okay, good point. But maybe because you're cute. Because you CAN be sexy when you want to be. Because you're smart, and you're a good listener. How many times has JC come to you with a problem? Don't you have some of the best talks with him? And he puts up with a lot of your crap.
Yeah, we're friends. But that doesn't mean he wants anything more.
But how do you know that? Look, you want something more, so why shouldn't he? Haven't you caught him looking at you sometimes? Like at that photo shoot the other day; didn't he put his arm around you just a little too snugly? Didn't he rub your shoulders before the last show? Are you that much in denial?
I'm scared. What if I go to him and he laughs? Or he's disgusted. Or he hates me.
Stupid! What on earth makes you think he'd be disgusted? Isn't JC one of the most tolerant people you've ever met? Has he ever made gay jokes? HATE you? He's one of your best friends!
Being tolerant in general is not the same as having 'one of your best friends' announce he has a thing for you.
Okay, so maybe you don't approach it that way. Maybe you just feel him out (or feel him up, heh heh--c'mon, at least have a sense of humor about this, Lancey-boy); maybe you just hang out with him one day. Ask him to check out a song you're working on or something. Ask him if he's interested in anyone. Play your charm card.
Right. Charm. Because I'm just dripping the stuff.
You do when you let yourself. When you stop acting like this freaking loser. Which you're not. So when are you gonna tell him?
Maybe I shouldn't. He's got a girlfriend.
Maybe she's just a front. Or maybe he just doesn't realize how he really feels about you. Maybe, just maybe, he's just as scared as you.
JC? Scared? Right.
You are. Why can't he be?
Oh, because he's strong and talented and everyone loves him?
Like they don't you? Do you think they'd mess with you so much if they didn't love you?
I dunno._
See, even you have to admit that they like you. So stop being such a wuss and grow a spine, dude. Tell the guy how you feel. And think of the payoff . . .
The 'I could lose my best friend' payoff?
HOW could you lose him? First of all, you're part of the same band. He ain't goin' anywhere and neither are you. Second, best friends don't turn their backs if something like this happens. They deal with it. And listen pal, there's two of us here and I wanna know.
Can't I be scared? Is it so wrong to be scared?
No, of course it's not wrong to be scared. I'm scared too. But I want to know. It's eating me up. Every time I see him. Every time I sit next to him. Every time I . . . touch him. I want him. I want him so bad it hurts.
I-I know. But I don't know how . . .
I don't either. But you didn't know how to kiss a girl at one point in your life, but you did. You didn't know how to tie your shoelaces. You didn't know how to ride a bike. But you did all these things. Yeah, it's scary as heck, but would you rather go along NEVER knowing? And think about this: What if JC likes you back? What if he likes you as much as you like him?
And what if he doesn't?
You'll live. It might be a little embarrassing, but you'll live. Remember that time you went onstage when you weren't supposed to and you were SO embarrassed? Well, you got over that. Look, you're trying to talk me out of this and it's not working. Either you tell him, or I will.
I'm not trying to talk you out of this. I'm trying to talk me into it. I'm just so scared.
I know you are. But we can do this. We really can. We WANT to. So come on, let's go talk to JC. And don't bite your nails.
I'm NOT biting my nails.
You are such a liar! See, you can't even admit you have a nail- biting habit, you're so in denial. Now go TELL HIM.
Moments later, Lance enters JC's room.
"Josh? You got a minute?"