Me, Myself, and JC: Duet
by Karen and LB
© 2002
"Josh? You got a minute?"
"Sure, Lance. What's up?"
"Um, I , um . . . Josh, I don't know how to say this so I'm just gonna say it. I, um, I've noticed that well, that when we're together, we, um, sorta spend a lot of time close to each other, and um, we touch more than the other guys, and um, I look at you and you look at me. And I was wondering, well, I have these feelings and well--am I the only one?"
"Lance??? Where is this coming from?"
"I knew you wouldn't. I'll just go."
"Wait, you can't just drop something like that in my lap and just leave. Come here. Sit. Talk to me."
"I'm really sorry Josh."
"What are you sorry for, Lance? You haven't done anything. Now tell me, what's bothering you? You said you have feelings. What do you mean by that?"
"You know. Feelings."
"Feelings? What kind of feelings? You're gonna have to be a little more specific, Lance."
"Feelings I shouldn't be havin'. Feelings about me and you and how I want to touch-- I better go."
"Whoa, Lance. SIT. Now. Lance, you just said you wanted to touch- -you want to touch me?"
"Yeah, I do, Josh. You must hate me."
"Lance, I don't hate you. I just want to understand you. I want to know what you're thinking and feeling about this. How long have you felt this way?"
"I-I'm not sure. A long time, I think. It took me a while to admit it even to myself."
"So, are you trying to say you're attracted to me sexually? That you want to have sex with me?"
"I, um, I. Maybe?"
"So, it's a purely sexual thing. Because, Lance, that's normal. Most guys fantasize about another guy at least once in their life."
"Josh, if that were all it was, do you think I'd be telling you about it?"
"I don't know, Lance, because this is the first I'm hearing about any of this."
"I know, I know. I just didn't know what to say, or if I should say anything. And today, I just--I don't know--convinced myself that it would be cowardly and stupid not to at least try . . . "
"Try to have sex with me? Lance, is that what this is about? Are you maybe going through some sort of phase, maybe looking to experiment?"
"No, Josh. To try to talk to you. To try to tell you that I think I might be--be . . . be falling in love with you. To find out if you might--I shouldn't have come."
"WHOA! Hold on there! Back up, dude. This is some serious stuff you're laying on me. You can't just walk out now. Wow, Lance, that must have been really hard for you to say. But I gotta say, I'm really flattered. And surprised. And . . . I'm glad you told me. But I have to know, Lance, are you SURE this isn't just a phase?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. I couldn't possibly be this scared and shaky and sick over a phase."
"Lance, oh man, there's nothing to be scared of. What you said . . . it was so brave, dude. Not many guys could admit to something like that. And I'm actually really glad you told me this. I just had to be sure before I said anything. See, Lance, you're not the only with feelings."
"Really? You're not just sayin' that?"
"I don't 'just say' stuff like this, Lance."
"I know you don't, Josh. I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, you know?"
"I know. I can tell. But Lance, there's really nothing to be nervous about. This is me you're talking to, and we've been friends for a long time. I'm not gonna bite."
"I'm still nervous. It . . . it was really hard to even say anything. I don't want to mess up our friendship. But I couldn't keep feeling like this and NOT say anything, either, without goin' crazy."
"Well, if it's any consolation, you're NOT crazy. At least not about this. A smile? That's better. Look, I know how weird this must be for you, having to come talk to me about this. But what if I told you . . . I feel the same way?"
"I'd be amazed. I'd be grateful. I might even cry."
"Lance, baby, don't cry. As for being amazed, why? Look at you-- you're smart, funny, and adorable as hell. But Lance, this is serious stuff. And since you laid it on the line, I might as well put it out there as well. Lance, we have been friends for a long time. And in that time I've started to feel, well, that I want to be more than just friends with you. But you really need to think about this: If this is just some phase you're going through, then we need to deal with it because I don't think either of us wants it to affect the rest of the group."
"You keep saying that: a phase. I wouldn't have come to you if I thought that's all it was. I spent a long time trying to convince myself that it was exactly that. It would be so much easier if it were. But nothing about this feels that way. Phases are superficial. My feelings are deeper every day."
"Come here." JC motions for Lance to sit on the couch next to him. "I just needed to be sure." He reaches out and takes one of Lance's hands in his. The hand is cold, and JC can feel how nervous the boy is. "So, I like you and you like me. What are we going to do about it, hmmm?"
"I..." Lance hesitates, scared, and suddenly shy with JC. He takes a deep breath. "Could I just kiss you? I've wanted to for so long."
"I was hoping you'd say that." JC gives a slight tug on the hand he's still holding and leans in. Smiling, he breathes, "Don't be afraid," and brings his lips to the younger man's so they are just grazing the soft surface. He waits for a reaction, and when he feels the boy tense for just a second, gently presses his lips to Lance's.
The gentle kiss is like electricity and flame and sustenance all at once. Lance is frozen at first, then begins kissing JC back, his lips opening and closing over JC's again and again.
JC is momentarily surprised by Lance's eagerness. But then he remembers how Lance normally is willing to try new things with gusto. Since Lance seems to enjoy the kiss as much as JC, JC lets his tongue brush against the boy's soft, pink lips and slip into his mouth. He brings his hand up to Lance's face to caress his cheek tenderly.
The sensation of JC's tongue in his mouth is almost too much for Lance. He's wanted this for SO long and the reality is so much better than any fantasy he's ever had.
If left to his own devices, JC would push Lance down on the couch and rip his clothes off. But he knows, as bold as Lance was about opening up to him, he might get scared off if things went too far. So JC does the only thing he can do: He pulls back. "Lance, I've wanted this for so long. You have no idea. But I don't want you to feel we need to rush anything. I care about you. A LOT. And the last thing I want is for you to get hurt. So if anything about this makes you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me."
JC's consideration just makes Lance love him more. "I don't think I could ever be uncomfortable with you, Josh." Lance looks up into those blue, blue eyes, with a look of complete trust.
JC could just melt. He'd been waiting for the day when Lance would look at him the way he's looking now, with those beautiful eyes and those lips just waiting to be kissed. "Good. Because I've been fantasizing about this day for such a long time, I want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you." With that, JC kisses Lance again and pulls him closer, snaking one hand around his waist and up his back.
Lance wraps his arms around JC's neck, leaning into the kiss. This time it is Lance who reaches out with his tongue, slipping it tentatively through JC's teeth and shyly exploring the older man's mouth. His hand strokes the back of JC's neck, slipping up to caress JC's hair as well.
JC almost laughs when he feels Lance's tongue timidly explore his mouth. He gives himself over to the boy completely, letting him set the pace before sliding his hands to the front of Lance's shirt and caressing his chest through the soft fabric.
Lance tenses slightly as he feels JC's touch, then wills himself to relax. It's not that he doesn't want JC to touch him--certainly not that--but that he's never allowed himself to imagine anything beyond a kiss. And he's worried that JC's going to be disappointed in his lack of experience. He wants so badly to please JC.
JC releases Lance's lips and holds his face between his hands. "It's okay, Lance. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I'm not going to make you do anything you're not ready for, you know that, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. And it's not that I don't want to, but that I don't know what I want. Or how to do it." Lance grins ruefully. "But I know I wanna be with you. And you wanna be with me. That's a good start." Lance glances at the bed, made but rumpled, as if JC had just risen from a nap (surprise!) when Lance had come to talk to him. "Could we just lie down and hold each other for a while? Would that be okay?"
JC smiles back. Could Lance be more adorable? "That would be better than okay." JC takes Lance's hand and pulls him to his feet. He leads him over to the side of the bed and sits him down on the edge. Kneeling in front of him, JC unlaces Lance's sneakers and removes them along with his socks. Then, he pushes himself up with one arm on either side of Lance and kisses him, slowly lowering him to the mattress as he does so. He climbs over the boy without breaking their kiss and then pulls him close, wrapping his arms around the warm body next to him. "Okay?"
"Mmmmm. Perfect." Lance snuggles himself more securely into JC's embrace, nervousness somehow forgotten. Instead, he feels safe, at home.
JC kisses the top of Lance's head, breathing in the clean scent of his shampoo, smiling as his golden locks tickle his nose. He rubs a soothing hand up and down Lance's back and notices that the boy is beginning to relax more. JC doesn't know how much longer he can lay this close to Lance before it's really going to become apparent that he's aroused. He's touched Lance before but has never had this kind of physical contact with him. And just being able to touch him in this way is enough to get him going. But he also knows that it's important to take this slow; not just for Lance's sake but for his own.
After a few minutes, he decides to chance it. He lets his hand stray lower, to the curve of Lance's butt. He lets his hand rest there for a few minutes, gauging the boy's reaction.
This time Lance doesn't freeze or start or tense. It feels so good, so right, lying here with JC ands it feels good to be touched, too. Not knowing how else to express his encouragement, Lance lifts his face to JC's and kisses him again, not so tentatively this time.
JC's hand on Lance's butt turns into a grip, and he gives it a gentle squeeze. His hand travels around Lance's waist to his chest, where it traces the muscles of the boy's chest through his thin t-shirt. Very carefully, JC slides the hand under the shirt's hemline and up along the warm, smooth skin underneath.
"Mmmmm, Josh, that feels so good," Lance murmurs against JC's mouth, pulling him into an even deeper kiss. Between the kisses and the caresses, he's feeling a stirring in his groin, and he wonders if JC feels the same. Just the thought of that excites him, and he presses unconsciously against JC's thigh.
JC inhales sharply when he feels the bulge at Lance's crotch rubbing against him. He never imagined it would go even this far, and he still does not want to rush things. But he can't help running his hands over Lance's chest. His skin is so soft, and his nipples become instantly erect at the slightest touch. JC rolls one between his fingers and then the other, loving the way Lance presses even closer when he does. Placing his palm flat on Lance's chest, he rolls him over onto his back and gazes into his sparkling green eyes. "How about we take this off?" he asks, tugging playfully at the hem of Lance's shirt.
Lance nods, biting his lower lip. He raises himself off the bed so JC can pull the shirt off of him, then lies back again, still gazing up into the ocean blue eyes. He feels a little shy; he's not one for ripping his shirt off at the drop of a hat, but he hopes JC likes what he sees.
To distract Lance from feeling self-conscious, JC gives him a quick kiss before tossing the shirt aside. He knows Lance is comfortable enough around the guys when they're changing at photo shoots, but he also knows that getting undressed in front of strangers isn't his favorite thing to do. JC turns on his side and leans on his elbow. He says, very matter-of-factly, "You know you're beautiful, don't you? Well, you are." His eyes are half-lidded as he strokes a hand up and down Lance's chest, almost hypnotically, until it moves lower, gently following the line of soft hairs leading from Lance's navel to the waistband of his jeans.
Lance blushes, due to both the caresses and the compliment. "No I'm no--do you really th--um--thank you," he babbles. He's having trouble concentrating with JC looking at him like that and JC touching him like that.
"Yes, you are. You're the most beautiful guy I've ever known," JC states, as he toys with the button on Lance's jeans.
Lance's blush deepens but he decides not to argue. He's not sure he has enough breath for it anyway. "Josh," he whispers, somewhere between a declaration and a sigh. He reaches up to touch JC's face, tracing the sculpted cheekbone and the full lips.
JC closes his eyes and sighs. Oh, how he's longed for that touch! He opens his eyes and smiles, and when Lance's fingers brush his lips he kisses the fingertips tenderly. Without taking his eyes off the sweet face gazing up at him, he pops open the button at Lance's fly and carefully lowers the zipper. His tongue flicks out to lick the slender index finger at his lips, while his hand slips inside Lance's jeans to rub his erection through his boxer-briefs.
Lance's eyes close as he presses his head back into the pillow, arching his neck. A wordless moan escapes his mouth. His hand grasps JC's chin and Lance pulls his mouth down to his own.
JC always knew Lance was a passionate person--passionate about music, passionate about the business--but he never imagined he'd be the recipient of such passion. His lips glide over Lance's cheek to his ear, which he kisses and nibbles lightly. "Tell me what you like," he whispers. "Tell me what feels good. I want to make you feel good." His hand slides inside the boxer-briefs and he cups the hardness within. Lance groans. He's supposed to be able to TALK?
"I like what you're doing right now. But I wanna--I wanna make you feel good, too."
"Shhhh, you're making me feel good right now. Just seeing your face, Lance . . . that feels so good." JC moves lower on the bed and pulls off Lance's jeans. His hands glide up Lance's legs as he makes his way back up to the boy's heated erection. He removes the boxer briefs and lays back down on his side, and he places soft kisses on Lance's chest, listening to the rapid breathing of the boy beneath his lips. His hand travels back to the waiting hardness, and he grips it firmly as his tongue circles first one small, brown nipple, then the other.
Lance cradles JC's head, stroking the thick, dark hair. He tries one- handed to unbutton the few buttons of JC's shirt that he can reach. But mostly he just revels in the amazing sensations that JC's hand and mouth are giving him. Incredible that only an hour ago he was sure this would never happen.
When JC feels Lance's hand at his shirt, he smiles. For someone who said he didn't know what to do he's sure learning fast. But JC isn't concerned about his own pleasure right now. He wants Lance to be completely at ease with him and to get used to this kind of affection. There will be time enough for other . . . activities. JC begins to stroke the long shaft in his palm, applying pressure at the base and working his way up to the tip, then back down again. He cups Lance's balls gently, then continues stroking.
Lance gives up on trying to deal with JC's shirt. His brain is incapable of sending the correct signals to his fingers anyway. He has never in his life been so aroused, even the few times he's actually had sex. But this is JC, and this is what he's wanted since before he even understood what he wanted.
"That's right, baby, you just lay back and let me take care of everything." JC resumes kissing the boy's chest, then uses his tongue to trace a path down to his navel, licking and kissing the small indentation, and then replacing his hand with his mouth on Lance's throbbing cock.
Lance cries out as he feels the moist heat of JC's mouth envelop him. The feeling is better than anything he could have hoped for, anything he could have fantasized. He caresses JC's head with both hands, urging him on.
JC engulfs Lance's erection, and he uses his tongue to lick and create even more of a sensation. Lance's vocalizations urge him on even more, but just when he thinks Lance is about to come, he releases the hot shaft, and uses his tongue to lick just the tip, then takes in the whole organ once again.
As soon as he feels the hot mouth surround him again, Lance begins to thrust. He tries to control it, afraid to hurt JC, but the urge is irresistible. His hands in JC's hair are gripping, demanding and he cries out Josh's name again and again.
The rush of excitement that JC feels when he goes onstage is tripled when he feels Lance move under him. He gently fondles Lance's balls and takes him even further into his mouth, urging him on. He reaches one hand up to caress and tease the boy's nipples, and the other massages and rubs his thighs. He matches every thrust with his own rhythm, relishing the pleasure he's giving his new lover.
Lance feels himself getting close. He's grasping JC's head so tightly now that he's sure he must be hurting him, and makes a deliberate effort to loosen his grip. "Oh Josh, I'm gonna--" is all he manages, before the orgasm hits him, hard, and he's practically screaming Josh's name.
When the warmth shoots into JC's mouth, all he can think is how incredible this feels, to be giving the boy he . . . loves . . . such pleasure. JC almost comes himself as Lance's body spasms and then goes limp. He releases Lance's now softening penis, giving it a final lick and climbs back up to lay alongside him. What he sees almost makes his heart melt. Lance is practically glowing. JC takes him in his arms and brushes the sweat-soaked hair off the boy's forehead. "Lance, I think I love you."
Lance smiles up into those incredibly blue eyes. "Is that a Partridge Family lyric, or are you just happy to see me?"
"I THINK I LOVE YOU!" JC sings and then pulls Lance close, laughing into his hair. "Yes, I'm very, very happy, baby."
"I think I love you, too, Josh."
"You're just saying that 'cause I just blew you." JC laughs again, but then his face grows serious. He runs his fingers through Lance's blond locks. "You know I mean what I say, don't you? I know this seems like it's happening so fast, but I've felt this way for a long time now. It's just so nice to finally be able to say it."
"That's for your first comment." Lance smacks JC playfully, then hugs him close. "And I know exactly what you mean, cause it's been the same for me."
"Why did we wait so long?"
"Does it matter? I think maybe I wasn't ready till now."
"No, it doesn't matter. As long as you're here now."