Selfish: We're Meant to Be Together

by Karen and LB
© 2002

Lance's fingers brush the prickly whiskers on his chin. Keri had told him he should shave it, but he likes the texture. And it gives him something to busy himself with on the flight to New York. New York. More promos, more pictures, and then the big premiere. With all that he should have on his mind, he can't stop thinking about JC. How good he looked. How good he felt when he was near. How warm he felt whenever he could make JC smile, which wasn't often these past few days.

Lance screwed up. Big.

He knows that now, he just doesn't know how he can change it. But he's never walked away from a problem, so if it takes the entire flight back to New York, he'll come up with a way. He has to. Because he can't stand the thought of not having JC in his life.

JC drifts around his house, erasing the almost imperceptible changes Lance's visit created. He tries not to think too much about what Lance wanting to be here could have meant. It's like Lance says: they're friends. But that doesn't explain why JC wants to cry when he finds a sock that belongs to Lance mixed in with his own clothing. Or why he does cry when he finds one of Jackson's favorite squeaky toys under the couch.

He'll write a letter. No, that's cowardly. He'll call. He'll call as soon as he gets to New York. But will that seem too pushy? Maybe he should send JC a present. Everything just seems so inappropriate. Lance has never been in the position of needing to win someone back, so he has no idea how to approach this. He considers calling his mother, but decides this is something he has to do by himself. He screwed up, now he's the one who has to fix it.

As soon as he's off the plane, Lance dials JC's number. As it rings, his hand grows sweaty and he hangs up. What would he say? "JC, I'm sorry I broke your heart, now I want you back?"

JC grabs the phone just as the ringing stops. He stares at Lance's number on the caller ID screen, trying to figure out if Lance is deliberately trying to drive him crazy.

Maybe he'll just wait until after the premiere. Yes, that would be best. He spends the ride to the hotel convincing himself that this is the right thing to do, then dials JC's number again. This time, he doesn't hang up.

JC lets the phone ring a couple of times before answering. "Yeah?" he finally mutters into the receiver.

"JC? Hi. It's Lance." He knows how stupid that sounds, and he cringes.

"I know, dude," JC says as casually as possible. "What's up?"

"Um, I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay at your place."

"You already did. And I guess you wanna come back, cause you left your sock."

"I did?" Lance chuckles. It's good to hear JC make a joke. "Will you wash it for me?"

"Oh, yeah. With all my fine hand-washables."

"Maybe you should just save it for Jackson. He's been whining since we landed."

"He wants to come back, too. He left a toy."

"That little sneak. I knew he was a smart dog, but I didn't know he was THAT smart. I guess I owe you one."

"No, I owe YOU one. One squeaky toy."

"Jackson's gonna hold you to it. You'll have to deliver it in person, though."

"He better come and get it."

Lance holds the dog up the phone. "He says okay, but you better have the good food waiting. No Alpo for him. He's gotten so picky."

"I got a prime sirloin with his name on it."

"Ooh, now you're talking. He just licked the phone."

"Smart puppy. Send him out any time."

"First class. And JC, thanks again. I...thanks."

"No problem."

"So, um, I guess I'll see you back in Orlando."

"Yeah. In a week or so," JC replies. Ask me and I'll come to New York, he thinks.

"I guess you'll be pretty busy."

"Not compared to you."

"Yeah. It's gonna be crazy." Lance's voice catches. JC doesn't want to come.

"It's what you've been working for. You deserve it."

"Thanks. I guess I better go."

" 'Kay. See ya, Lance."

"See you." Lance disconnects and stares at the phone, then bangs it against his head.

*****

Beth watches Lance. At each interview, each appearance. And despite the excitement of having his first movie--that he not only stars in but produced--Lance seems sad. He won't talk to her about what's bothering him, but Beth assumes it has something to do with the fact that none of the guys are coming to the premiere. She's not even going to try to figure out Justin and Chris, but maybe she can persuade JC. So while Lance is busy at Macy's Beth calls JC.

"Hey, Bethie. What's up?"

"Hey, JC. I need to ask you a favor. As Lance's bandmate and friend. I need you to come to the premiere."

"You NEED me to?"

"He needs you. Justin's not coming, Chris isn't coming, and he's acting like it's no big deal but it IS a big deal. I can see it in his face."

JC doesn't even hesitate. "I'm there."

*****

Lance can't believe what he's seeing when he returns to the hotel--JC being led through the lobby to the elevators. He trots up behind his bandmate, his heart racing. "JC, what are you doing here?"

"I, um, changed my mind. That's okay, right?"

"It's better than all right. You're gonna have to do press, though."

"I guess I can handle that."

"There's a party after."

"You're buying me a drink."

"I'll buy you as many as you want." In the elevator, Lance fights the urge to throw his arms around JC. Fortunately, with the bodyguards present he's unable to.

Tuesday arrives, and Beth and JC decide to go together, with Laura providing Lance's date. Lance is elated; his best friends are here, and maybe, just maybe, he can win back JC. He follows JC down the procession of cameras and mics. And when he's asked The Question, he gives the answer he and Laura had practiced. "This is Laura. My . . . girlfriend." She smiles, he smiles and then they're inside, making their way to their seats. Lance switches seats to sit next to JC, who had seemed on edge since they entered the theater. "JC, that thing with Laura, it's just for publicity."

JC glances up, meeting Lance's eyes. "You don't owe me any explanations, Lance."

"Yeah, I do. I owe you a lot more. I'm really s--" but before he can finish Eric is in front of the screen announcing the movie.

JC realizes it was probably a mistake to come. Sitting here next to Lance, watching Lance up on the screen--it's heartbreaking. JC's hand is twitching with the need to touch.

The party doesn't make it any easier. Lance is constantly being pulled from group to group and positioned for pictures, so he decides tonight is not the night to tell JC how he feels. He'll do it tomorrow. He cuts out of the party early and heads to a bar. It's late when he arrives back at the hotel, and he has to make an appearance on Regis in the morning. He'll talk to JC later. He'll make the time.

It was a rough night, JC reflects when he wakes up the next day. But he knows he did the right thing. Lance needed him here, and he'd rather be part of Lance's life as a friend, than not at all. But his usefulness here is over, so, after he showers and dresses, he packs his bags, determined to leave town as soon as he's done on TRL.

Lance tries to stay focused on the questions. But all he can really think about is JC. It's not until the early afternoon that he's able to get back to the hotel, and when he tries calling JC's room he finds his friend has already checked out. His heart sinks as he imagines what JC is thinking--about Laura, about Lance's lack of attention to him. But he's not going to give up. Not now. With determination, he dials JC's cell.

JC had just pulled his phone out to switch it off while he's in the studio, and he jumps when it rings. He stares at Lance's number on the display and considers letting it go to voice mail. He sighs and answers instead.

"Hi, JC? It's Lance. Where are you?"

"MTV. I'm doing a bit on TRL today. And taping something too, I think."

"Cool. Um, can I come by?"

"What for? I can handle this. I won't give your movie a thumbs down or anything."

Lance detects the sarcasm and softens his voice. "I know. You've been so good about coming here and everything. I never expected you to show up. I just want to see you."

"Look, it's no big deal. You're my friend; it was your big night. Of course I was there."

"It meant a lot to me that you were." There's a silence, then Lance continues. "I need to talk to you."

There's another silence. JC listens to static as he decides what to say. "Well, you know where I am. I have some time between TRL and my flight, so if you wanna come meet me . . . "

"Thanks." Lance hangs up, sad, nervous, scared. He knows he deserves JC's derision. But if he doesn't at least try to win him back, he'll always feel that rip in his heart.

He passes the hours by keeping busy promoting the movie and making calls and working out schedules with Beth. He's at MTV before the show's over but asks that he not be put on camera. This is JC's day and he doesn't want to draw attention. So he waits quietly in the Green Room, watching his friend on the monitor confidently wowing the crowd of screaming girls and feeling so proud to have JC as a friend.

JC, on the other hand, feels like an idiot. He's nervous knowing that Lance is coming--may already be here. He messes up the date of the United We Stand concert and has to be bailed out by Carson. Twice. He manages to tape his Top Ten Videos more successfully, then he's done.

"You did great," Lance declares, when JC enters the room. He manages to hold himself back from running to JC and throwing his arms around him.

JC smiles ruefully. "If by great, you mean 'bumbling idiot'."

"I can't keep the dates straight either. Do you have time for a cup of coffee?"

JC glances at his watch. "Yeah. I could do coffee."

They slip out and are driven to a small, quiet café. They order their coffee, then Lance toys with his mug as he summons the words. "I've been thinking. A lot. About what happened between us. And I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

JC's gazes into his cup as if he could find answers there. "What's done is done, Lance. You don't have to keep apologizing."

"Yes, I do. See, I think I made a big mistake. No, I KNOW I made a big mistake."

JC freezes. Could Lance be saying what it sounds like he's saying? "You, um, you did?"

A lump forms in Lance's throat, threatening to prevent him from saying anything else. "Y-yes. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that."

JC looks at Lance wordlessly, willing him to say more. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions, but it sounds like Lance actually regrets their break up.

Lance takes a sip of coffee, needing to lubricate his throat. "I guess what I'm saying is that I was pretty selfish and didn't think about your feelings."

"You can't change how you feel," JC says softly. "And you didn't feel the same way I did."

"But I do now."

"You . . . you. What?"

"I thought maybe we could try again."

JC gulps his coffee and almost chokes. "Try again? I-I-I don't know. I'm . . . scared," he says, ending in a whisper.

"Me too. But I want to at least try. I mean, be, like, a couple."

"Why? I mean, you were so sure you didn't want this. Want me."

"I was scared of commitment. I was afraid if I was with you I couldn't still have my friends. That was stupid, I know that now."

"What changed?"

"I realized what was missing. You."

JC stares at the tabletop for a very long time. When he finally looks up, his eyes are a little sad. Vulnerable. "Are you sure, Lance? Cause I just can't do this again if you're not sure."

Lance starts to reach across the table to JC's hand but stops halfway, remembering they're in a public place. "I'm sure. I wouldn't blame you if you said no. But I want this. I was hoping you would too."

"It's--" JC clears his throat when no sound comes out. "It's what I want more than anything."

Lance practically leaps up from the table. He beams and almost can't get the words out. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that. I promise you, JC, I will NOT break your heart. Not again." He wants so badly to hug his friend.

JC smiles crookedly. "I'll hold you to that."

"I hope so." Lance takes another sip. "You really have to leave today?"

"Nope. I just didn't have any reason to stay."

"You do now. If you want to."

"I want to." This time JC's smile is sweet and open. "Besides, I probably missed my flight."

"For once, I'm glad."

"So, I guess you're stuck with me."

"Yeah, what a DRAG."

"Hey, you don't want me around I can go sleep in the bus station."

"You couldn't sleep there. No pillows. But I have some nice, soft pillows in my room."

"And you're willing to share?"

"It's a big bed. Lots of pillows. You can have as many as you want."

"I am getting kind of sleepy."

Lance looks at JC's watch. "It's only like 6:00."

JC looks directly into Lance's eyes. "So?"

"Are you really tired?"

"Nope. Just keeping my options open."

"So if you're not tired, what are the other options?"

"Pillow fights?"

"You trying to start something, C? Because you know I can knock you over with a feather-pillow."

"You can try."

"Let's go back to the hotel and find out."

"Yeah. Let's do that."

Lance doesn't even bother finishing his coffee, and if he could have run the distance to the hotel he would have, but the bodyguards make that impossible, so he settles for the seemingly interminable ride back, fidgeting the entire way. When they reach the hotel, he grabs one of JC's bags and hurries to the elevator, then races down the hall and has his key out before they even see the door. And once inside, he turns to JC and says, "There's one more thing I have to tell you."

JC looks up, slowly. "Yeah?"

Lance moves in quickly, tossing JC's bag on the floor and placing both hands on JC's face and kissing him like he's never kissed anyone before.

JC leans back against the door, letting himself be kissed for a long time before he begins to kiss back.

With his eyes squeezed shut, Lance accepts the kisses willingly and openly, sliding his hands to JC's shoulders, down his arms, and then taking both hands in his before walking backward toward the bedroom.

JC grips Lance's hands like lifelines as they move through the living room of the suite. He can't quite believe this is happening--that the only thing he wanted is right here in his grasp.

Breathless, Lance breaks the kiss and gazes into JC's eyes. He swallows once, then summons the words he needs to say. "I love you, JC."

JC's own eyes widen and he looks searchingly into Lance's. What he finds there apparently pleases him, because a smile spreads slowly over his face, warming his eyes as smiles haven't truly done in a very long time. "I love you, too," he whispers.

Lance kisses JC again, this time with more tenderness, more love, than he's ever felt.

JC wraps his arms around Lance like he's never going to let go, returning kiss for kiss, learning once again the taste and texture and feeling of Lance. Sensations he's tried very hard to forget because the memory of what he'd lost, what he'd never truly had, was so painful.

Lance takes a step back, not wanting to break the kiss so soon. He holds JC's hands for one moment, then lifts his shirt up and over his head. His chest rises and falls with each breath as he stands before JC, vulnerable, scared, and very, very aroused.

JC's eyes roam over Lance's smooth, sculpted chest, then rise to his face again. "You look terrified."

"I am. Because I'm afraid of hurting you again."

"You gave me your promise. I gave you my trust. That's good enough for me."

"Come here."

JC takes the single step necessary to bring him close to Lance. "I'm here," he says, touching Lance's bare shoulder.

"I want to show you."

Bringing his hand up to cup Lance's face, JC caresses Lance's cheekbone with one long, slender thumb. "Show me."

Lance closes his eyes and brings his mouth to JC's beckoning lips, barely brushing them before capturing them fully.

JC practically melts into the kiss, wrapping his free arm around Lance and molding the younger man's body to his. He can feel how aroused they both are and yet there's such tenderness in their embrace that it's even more loving than it is passionate.

Lance's hands hold JC close, and soon they are lifting JC's shirt, revealing smooth, tanned skin.

Smiling into the kiss, JC tilts Lance's face to an even more perfect angle and penetrates even more deeply with his tongue. Lance's mouth still tastes faintly of sweet coffee, but it's the taste of Lance himself, once so familiar and now new again, that truly excites JC.

Lance lifts JC's shirt higher, until the boys are forced to separate to get it off. And once it is, Lance gazes longingly at the toned muscles of JC's chest. He runs one hand over the lean figure before dipping his head to take one already erect nipple in his mouth.

JC moans and lets his head fall back, cradling Lance's head to his chest tenderly. He runs his hands through the prickly softness of Lance's hair and concentrates on staying upright when his knees seem to want something different.

Lance holds JC steady as he caresses the stiff nipple with his tongue before moving on to the other side. He turns their bodies until the back of his legs hit the bed and he sits, never taking his mouth off JC's chest but now moving slowly downward, his fingers already working to loosen JC's pants.

JC rests his hands on Lance's shoulders for support. Lance's ministrations are practically making him lightheaded and for the first time in so long, he feels completely happy.

Lance takes a moment to dip his tongue in JC's navel before sliding his hand down JC's pants to the hot bulge trapped within.

"Lance," JC whispers, more aroused than he ever remembers having been. He feels like he could explode right this moment and tries to draw deep breaths to calm himself.

"Do you want me to stop?" Lance asks quietly, turning his eyes upward.

"No," JC replies dreamily. "Never stop."

"Okay, because I could do this all day." Lance lowers JC's pants over his hips, freeing his long erection, and massages JC's tight ass. For a moment, he just nuzzles the soft curls around the hot organ, taking in JC's musky scent. But he doesn't make JC wait too long before flicking his tongue out.

JC draws in a long, hissing breath. He can feel the strong muscles in his thighs begin to tremble even as he demands "More."

Lance runs his tongue down the length of the pulsing organ and back up again, and then he circles just the tip before taking it into his mouth. All he wants right now is to make JC feel good, to take away all the bad feelings and hurt he caused.

JC tightens his grip on Lance's shoulders, then consciously loosens it, knowing he's probably hurting his friend. His boyfriend. He can finally think that without having to feel like he's doing something wrong. JC sighs happily.

Encouraged by the small sound, Lance takes more of JC into his mouth, engulfing him, devouring him.

JC's hips almost involuntarily follow the motions of Lance's mouth. Not hard, not thrusting, just rocking in time, loving the heat, the movement, the pressure of Lance's tongue and lips.

Lance slides his hand down the crack between JC's firm muscles as he swirls his tongue around JC's heat. He releases the organ only long enough to swipe his tongue along JC's balls before returning to the straining erection.

JC feels his entire body tighten, align, as it does when he's close to climax. His breath comes in gasps and his hands slide up to clasp Lance's head firmly.

With a quick, intense rhythm Lance takes in JC's erection again and again, knowing how much loving he has to make up for.

JC can't hold on any longer and he explodes into Lance's mouth. His knees go weak and he struggles to remain upright as he comes and comes.

Lance accepts all that JC has to offer, swallowing his pride, so to speak, turning this act into one of complete trust and devotion. As JC's climax subsides, Lance falls backward on the bed, pulling JC down with him.

Lying pillowed against Lance, JC repeats the only word his mind can formulate. "Wow. Wow."

Lance strokes JC's shoulder soothingly and says softly, "There's more of that whenever you want."

"I want more . . . of you."

"I'm not going anywhere. Well, eventually I'll have to leave to do some more press for the movie, but I'm here," Lance places his hand on JC's heart, "for you from now on."

JC smiles. "That's sweet, but I was thinking a little more literally." He slips his hand down to cover Lance's neglected erection.

"Ohhhhhh. Now? You're not too tired?"

JC looks up into Lance's eyes and shakes his head, solemnly. "Me? Tired?"

"You sure?" Lance rolls on top of JC, hands supporting his friend's shoulders. "You sure you're sure?"

"More sure than I've ever been."

"Yeah?" Lance kisses JC's cheek. "That's really sure."

"What about you?"

Lance lifts his head so he can look JC directly in his blue-gray eyes, so filled with hope. "I don't want to go another day without you."

JC swallows. "Then make love to me."

Lance responds by sealing JC's lips with his mouth, thrusting his tongue inside the warm cavern as he grinds his hips against JC's body.

JC pulls Lance as close as possible, wrapping strong arms around his lover as if he's never going to let go.

Lance places kisses all over JC's face: his cheeks, his forehead, even his eyelids. When he reaches JC's neck, he jokes, "If you hold me like that I'll never get your clothes off."

JC flings his arms to the sides, letting himself go completely limp. "Better?"

"Mmmm," Lance growls, sitting back and just taking in the sight of his submissive lover. He leans on one arm and reaches inside JC's open pants to massage the soft organ back to life.

JC closes his eyes, trying again to convince himself that this is real--that it's not just a dream. But the hand on his erection sure feels real. So does the post-orgasm languor that suffuses him. He smiles dreamily and reaches to caress Lance's much more ready erection.

Lance smiles back, content to just lay here and let himself be pleasured while giving pleasure. He feels a little . . . selfish.

JC twitches at Lance's button, releasing it, then lowers his zipper. He feels how hot, how hard Lance is and grins. "Maybe you did miss me. Just a little."

Lance looks down at the hand touching him. "A LITTLE?"

"More than a little?" JC says with his most innocent expression, as his hand continues to do very un-innocent things.

"Try a LOT. I missed you in a BIG way. A huge, big way."

"How huge?"

Lance removes JC's hand and pushes his pants down, freeing his erection. "Huge enough?"

"Perfect. What are you gonna do with it?"

"I don't know. Maybe have it mounted."

"Maybe it should do the mounting. I want you SO bad."

Lance swings JC's legs, which had been hanging over the edge, onto the bed. With his knees on either side of JC's legs, he begins to remove JC's pants and shoes. "I want you too." When the pants are off, Lance stretches beside his friend. "I want you so bad it hurts."

"You want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"I want you to kiss me."

JC smiles up at Lance and, cupping Lance's face in one hand, draws him down to meet JC's lips.

While his tongue explores JC's mouth, Lance wriggles out of his pants and tosses them aside. Their bodies now void of any clothing, Lance presses his heat against JC, his hands wandering the smooth flesh of JC's chest until they brush against the small, tight peaks of JC's nipples.

JC kisses Lance hungrily, all the need of the past weeks, all the desire of the past months evident in the eagerness of his lips, his tongue. Slowly, he runs a finger the length of Lance's spine, smiling to himself as he feels Lance shiver with the touch.

Lance parts JC's knees with his legs, settling between them and rubbing his erection against JC's, the intimacy of the act arousing him even more.

JC undulates his hips against Lance's, feeling the heat build between them. He breaks their kiss to nuzzle Lance's sensitive neck and when he finds the pulse point, he licks the throbbing spot.

Lance eyes practically roll back into his head, and he fumbles blindly for the tube of lubricant he left on the bedside table. He waits a moment, though, relishing the attention JC is paying to his erogenous zone.

JC realizes what Lance is doing and pushes him away enough so he can look into his face. "You were that sure I'd come back, huh?"

His face hot, Lance knows there's no way he can talk himself out of this one. "Um, no, I, um . . . if I had to beg you I would."

JC brushes Lance's hair back from his hot face. "I won't make you. But I, um, have to ask. Were you, um, with anyone else while we were broken up? I mean, do we need to use a condom?"

"No! Heck no. JC, the reason I didn't want to be with you wasn't so I could mess around with anyone else."

"I know. I just had to be sure. To be safe. I'm sorry--I should have asked before we reached this point."

Lance softens his voice, the panic drained from his face. "It's okay. I want you to feel safe. I want you to know that you're the only one I want to be with. I love you, JC. Just you."

"Do you have any idea how good it feels to hear that?"

"I think so. I know how good it feels to say it."

JC brushes Lance's hair back from his face again in a gesture of pure tenderness. "We can feel even better," he says playfully, the tense moment past.

"I feel better already," Lance growls, rubbing his erection between JC's legs as he flips open the cap of the lube. He lifts JC's legs onto his shoulders and squeezes a generous amount onto JC's opening before applying some to his waiting organ. Once that's done, Lance drops the tube and runs his hands down JC's legs. He kisses JC tenderly before pushing inside very, very gently.

JC grunts as he's penetrated, getting used to the sensation after the weeks alone. It feels like their first time together, not only in the physical sense, but also because for the first time they want the same things.

Lance pauses, not wanting to rush things and giving JC time to relax. He brings his face so it's mere inches from JC's face, then brings his lips so they're barely grazing JC's skin before pushing in a little more.

"Mmmm. I won't break, Lance. Just . . . love me."

JC's exquisite tightness and the sound of his voice almost send Lance over the edge right then and there. "It's been so long. I want it to be as good for you as it is for me." His hot breath fanning JC's face, Lance pushes in even more.

"It is. Always." JC lifts his hips, taking Lance into himself more deeply.

Lance studies JC's face, seeing his love reflected in those clear, gray eyes. He penetrates until he can go no further and remains there, joined with his lover in a perfect moment of oneness.

JC smiles sweetly up at Lance. "See? Not broken. Just a perfect fit." With that encouragement, Lance begins to thrust, slow and steady, concentrating on the tightness surrounding his heat, the way JC looks at him, the way JC smells so sweet, everything about his lover.

JC feels himself opening to Lance more every minute, and he feels closer to Lance in this moment than he ever had before. And he knows now that what they had before wasn't real, but that this can be.

Lance brings his lips to JC's neck, teasing the flesh with his tongue, and he brings one hand to JC's erection and strokes it as he continues to thrust inside his lover, increasing his tempo ever so slowly.

Following Lance's movements with the thrust of his own hips, JC feels the moment when they fall into that perfect rhythm when they're moving together as one. A shiver runs through him and he wonders if Lance can feel it too.

Lance suddenly lifts his head and looks quizzically into JC's eyes, then smiles. He presses his cheek against JC's cheek, nuzzling contentedly at the intense, pleasurable rhythm they've achieved. A low moan travels up his throat as he feels himself nearing the edge. JC's lips find Lance's ear and he whispers his love hotly into the soft, curved shell as they get closer and closer to orgasm.

All the emotions Lance has kept pent up over the weeks finally find their release as he buries his face against JC's neck and whimpers softly as he comes, never taking his hand off JC, not wanting to experience ecstasy without his lover.

The little sounds that Lance makes, the silky crush of his body against JC's, the heat and perfect rhythm of Lance's hand all combine to bring JC to his climax. He holds Lance tightly as they both shudder with their mutual passion, but the hold is a secure one, not a clinging one, filled with assurance rather than insecurity.

Lance continues to thrust until he can't move. He lies still, on top of JC, breathing in his scent, his love, his . . . everything. He's stunned by how wonderful it feels to be so close to one person, to completely give yourself over to him.

JC lies quietly, listening to two heartbeats returning to normal, his arms now wrapped loosely around Lance. He feels happy and comfortable and very, very satiated.

Lance lowers JC's legs but still doesn't let go. He lies on top of JC, eyes closed, spent, sweaty, afraid to speak, afraid of breaking the magic. They lie together, content, for a long time, until JC finally playfully rolls Lance off him, then kisses him as they lay side by side.

"I better go," Lance says, raspy voiced. "Just kidding."

"You're gonna pay for that one."

"Yeah? How? You gonna make me do your laundry for a week?"

"No. You're gonna feed me. I kinda forgot to eat today."

"You did? You must be so weak right now. So helpless." Lance leans in and kisses JC's cheek, then reaches across him for the phone. "All your favorites."

JC grins. "Least you could do."

"Since I've been so selfish."

"Aw, we don't have to keep going back over the past. That's done."

"I know. But this isn't about me, and it isn't about you. It's about US."

"Yeah," JC says emphatically. "I just don't want you to feel like you gotta keep apologizing for before. We start today. Deal?"

Lance holds out his hand. "Deal."

"Good. You can still feed me, though."

Groaning, Lance falls back against the pillow, phone cradled to his ear. "Remind me why I wanted to get back together?"

"I don't know," JC says solemnly. You never really told me why."

"You're good in bed."

"So you're really just using me for my hot bod."

"Yeah. Once I feed you and you get fat, that's it for us."

"I'll just have to think of a way to burn off calories."

As Lance dials room service, he imagines all the ways. So many that he knows it will take weeks, months, maybe even years to get through them all.

Maybe being selfish isn't such a bad thing after all.

Back to stories