Piggys
by Karen and LB
© 2002
Okay, this one needs a little explanation. The "naked" On the Line pictures showed up. And we were talking about various naked Kevin parts. And we got to cute little naked kevvie toes. And we're insane, so this is what came out of it.
"This little piggy went to market . . ."
(hee hee!)
"This little piggy stayed home..."
(hee hee) "Stop!"
"You'll have to ask more nicely than THAT."
"Please!" (hee hee) "Stop!"
"What do I get if I do? This little piggy has roast beef..."
"Noooo!" (hee hee!) "Anything!" (hee hee!) "Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase!"
"Anything?"
"Yes." (hee hee.) "ANYTHING! I can't..." (hee hee) "...take this..." (hee hee) "...anymore!"
"And this little piggy had none. Prove it."
"How can I prove it," (hee hee) "when you keep doing that!?"
"Okay, I'll stop. You have five seconds."
"Oh my goodness, um, okay, um..." Lance grabs JC and locks lips, giggling into the kiss.
"Mmm. Nice, but I still have to finish." JC pulls away from Lance again and grabs his foot, whispering "This little piggy cried 'wee, wee, wee,' all the way home" and taking the final toe into his mouth.
"OH...MY...GOSH!" Lance exclaims, struggling to keep from kicking out. He squirms on the couch in a fit of giggles. "My mom never did THAT."
"I sure hope not. But I bet she did THIS." JC presses his mouth to the bottom of Lance's foot and blows a raspberry as he's seen Joey do with Brianna, to Brianna's delight.
Lance practically falls off the couch, he's laughing so hard. "Stoooooooooooooop!" He manages to grab one of the pillows and thwaps JC with it.
"What? Brianna likes it. Of course, she likes this better." Pinning Lance to the couch with one arm, he pulls up Lance's shirt and repeats the raspberry against Lance's belly.
Laughing even louder now, Lance struggles against JC's arm, yelling, "I'm telling my mom!"
"You really, really want me to stop?"
"Yes!...No."
"Which is it? I love making you laugh, but, if I'm bothering you..."
"No. It's okay. I just think I'm gonna pee my pants if I keep laughing."
"Well, if THAT's all..." JC attacks Lance's tummy again.
Lance curls up as much as he can, arching his back against JC's mouth, reaching with one free hand for anything to defend himself with. When his fingers close around something soft and furry, he swings blindly without even seeing what the object is.
"Wha--?" JC looks up, befuddled.
The stuffed ferret squeaks as it bounces off JC's head. "Oops," Lance giggles.
"You are in SO much trouble."
"No, I'm not!"
"Oh, yeah? Assault and battery with a ferret?"
"A minor offense compared to assault with a mouth!"
"I told you I'd stop any time you wanted."
"Admit it--you're addicted."
"Well, you do taste good."
"Yeah? How do you taste?"
"Are you asking for a bite?"
"Just a nibble."
"Any particular part? Leg? Breast?"
"Wing?"
"My JC muscles?"
"Mmmm, muscles."
"You channeling Joey?"
"I guess I have been spending too much time with him. You're starting to look really appetizing."
JC spreads his arms. "Come and get it."
"Mmmm, I don't know where to start." With a wicked leer, Lance sits up. "Here?" He takes JC's wrist in his hands, then drops it. "Or here? Yeah, I think this will do." Before JC can say anything, Lance's mouth is on JC's elbow and he's giving him the biggest, wettest raspberry ever.
"Doesn't even tickle."
"No? How about this?" Lance takes JC's face in his hands and makes as though he's going to kiss him, then moves to JC's cheek and plants a raspberry there as well.
JC starts to giggle. "Anyone ever tell you you're weird?"
"I'M weird? Who's the one standing here with SPIT all over him?"
"And who put it there?"
"YOU did, dork!"
"I didn't put this here," JC returns, pointing at his cheek. "Or this," indicating his elbow.
"No, but you put THIS here," Lance states, lifting his shirt and pointing to the wet spot.
"Aw, who could resist that cute little belly?"
Lance pats the body part in question. "I don't see anyone else getting me wet."
"Would you want someone else getting you wet?"
Lance throws his arms around JC's shoulders. "Not on your life."
"That's better." JC's arms wrap around Lance's waist and he pulls him closer.
As they hug, Lance can't resist. He brings his lips to JC's shoulder and blows. Hard.
"OH, you're gonna play it THAT way, are you?"
"YOU started it!" Lance leaps off the couch, using one end to block him from any further assault.
"And you didn't like it one little bit?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then why are you running away?"
"Because if you keep this up I'm gonna have to change my shirt."
"You have other shirts."
"You like seeing me wet."
"I like seeing you naked."
"Perv."
"I'm only human."
"You're only horny."
"Oh, excuse me, St. Lance. You never are."
"Never. Ever."
"So if I were to kiss you, it wouldn't get you excited?"
"Nope."
"And if I lowered you to the couch, still kissing you and letting my fingers explore your body? Nothing?"
"N-not a thing."
"And if I took your clothes off and then scooted to the end of the couch, and sucked each of your toes, then worked my way slowly up your legs until I reached your, well, NON-erection because you're NOT horny and took it into my mouth?"
Lance grips the back of the couch for support. "Um, no, no way."
"Gee, that's too bad. We could have had fun."
"How much fun?"
"What do you care? You're not interested."
"I could be." Lance shifts from foot to foot, trying to still the twitching in his groin.
"What? But how can this be?"
"Make me an offer I can't refuse." Of course at this point any offer will do, because the couch can only hide so much.
"What if I did all those things to you? Right now?"
"I would...I would...let you." Lance leaps over the couch and tackles JC to the cushions.
"Looks like you have a few ideas of your own. Someone might even think you were...horny."
"Shhh, don't tell." To ensure that JC doesn't, Lance covers JC's mouth with his own.
JC smiles into the kiss. Lance is so much fun to play with.
Just then, the door opens. Joey and the baby. "Whoa, kid here," he announces, covering the baby's eyes.
Lance sits up quickly, fixing his shirt self-consciously. Diane Bass follows Joey, carrying the baby bag. "Hi, honey. Joey said he was bringing the baby by the studio, and I wanted to see her."
"Mom? Uh, hi."
Joey sits down in the chair next to the couch and coos over Brianna. He takes her foot and gives her a big raspberry. Lance looks at JC, his face reddening.
Diane leans over Joey. "Lance used to love when I did that to him. And I used to take his little toes and say, 'This little piggy went to market..."
"MOM!"