The Final Frontier
by Karen and LB
© 2002
In honor of the latest Lance! In! SPACE! news, a little something we come up with during the earlier announcements.
"What will it be like?" JC says, in a voice so small that Lance has to look up to be sure it's really his boyfriend speaking.
"Like...being in space," Lance jokes. "I don't know. Like nothing I can imagine. Small, strange. Far away."
JC doesn't laugh. "I meant, for us. What does it mean?"
Lance scratches his head and looks down. "I don't know. It shouldn't change anything."
"Seven months? Seven MONTHS and nothing's supposed to change. A lot could happen in seven months. You could fall for some guy named Yuri."
"Yuri! You're talking crazy, dude. I'm not gonna fall for some big, hairy Russian. Besides, I'll be too busy for that."
"That's a long time. They won't keep you busy every moment."
"Sure they will--I have to learn all this technical stuff, and there's the physical training, and after that I'll be too tired for anything else."
"And what am I supposed to do, learn to knit?"
"Are you saying I shouldn't go?"
"I don't know what I'm saying. Except that I'm scared."
"You have nothing to be scared of. I'll be away for a while. I'll be back."
"A little while?"
"I'll be back before you know it. And...you can visit me."
"You think or you know?"
"You can. I'm sure I'll be able to get out a couple of nights."
"They better let you. I'll be going crazy."
"It could be a good break. Give you time to work. You must be sick of me, anyway."
"You need a break from me?"
"I love you, JC. But maybe this will test our relationship."
"Definitely," JC says, not looking up.
Lance puts a finger under JC's chin, tilting his head up. "Think how great it will be when I get back."
"What if you're different? What if you don't want me anymore?"
"I think I'll want you more after going without sex for seven months."
"Lance, this is a life-changing experience you're going to have. I think I'm going to be pretty boring after all that."
"Yes, it's a big deal. But you're a big deal, too. You have to know that. You're hardly boring."
"I can't compete with...the universe ."
"You ARE the universe. My universe. You're the stars and the moon and the sun."
And that's why you want to get as far away from my as humanly possible. "If you say so."
"Hey, I'm doing this because it's my dream. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. But that doesn't mean I love you any less. Don't you have a dream?"
"I already live it."
"So you must understand why I want to do this so badly."
"It's not that I don't understand. It's just...this is huge for us. You make it sound like seven months is nothing."
"It's not nothing. It's a lot. But it doesn't mean we're breaking up. I'm not leaving you to be with someone else. I'm fulfilling a lifelong dream. And to do this I need to know that we're okay. If you have doubts then we need to talk about that, because I don't."
"Is it okay to not have doubts but still be scared?"
"If you're scared, it means you think we're gonna break up. Is that what you REALLY think? Maybe it's me who should be worried. I'm gonna be over there in Russia while you'll be here in California with all these hot movie stars."
"I'm not scared of that. I'm scared of how bad I'm gonna miss you."
"Oh, darlin', come here. I'm gonna miss you so much, too. Don't ever doubt that, not for one minute."
JC joins Lance on the couch. "I wish I could go with you. I wish I could see what you're going to see."
"I'll have a camera. And I'm sure there will some sort of hookup so I can talk to people back home. We'll figure something out."
"It's gonna be so cool."
"So you're okay with this? Really? Because I need to know you're okay."
"It might take me some time to get used to the whole thing, you know? But I'll get there. I know this will make you happy. And I want that. That's all I want."
"I'm not doing this to run away from you."
"That would make me a stalker."
"So you're not gonna steal my toothbrush?"
"Maybe a shirt that still smells like you."
"I'll give you the whole closet."
"Aw, baby. So you're not bringing any clothes to Russia? It's COLD in Siberia."
"Then you'll just have to come and keep me warm."
"Do I look like a blanket?"
Lance snuggles against JC. "You bet. You're all nice and cuddly like a blanket."
"My little afghan."
"I'll bring you back one."
"My boyfriend went to the Space Station and all I got was this lousy afghan?"
Lance groans. "For that, you're not getting anything. Not even a jar of Tang."
"For that, you're getting tickled."
Giggling and squirming under JC's hands, Lance is delighted that he can finally make JC smile. "Ow, hey, they're not gonna let me go if I rupture something."
"I know, I know. Don't break the cosmonaut."
"Astronaut. I'm American."
"Space Cowboy."
"Wanna take a ride?"
"If you wanna fly..."
Lance grins. "I can take you places you've never been."
"Where no man has gone before?"
"One giant leap?"
"Something's giant."
"Oh my goodness. Is that an asteroid in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"I'm always happy to see you."
"Then you'll be happy to see me go?"
"I'll still be sad to see you go. But I'll be happy for you at the same time. Does that make sense?"
"It makes a lot of sense. I feel the same way. You know how excited I am. But that doesn't mean I'll miss you any less."
"I'll be here when you get back."
"You have to be. I need to know I have something to come home to."
"You will. I promise."
"And when I'm up there, IF I go up there, I want to be able to look down and know that you're looking up at the exact same moment."
JC has to try a couple of times to speak past the lump in his throat. "I'll be looking up until you're here with me again."
Lance feels the tears welling in his eyes, but he smiles nonetheless. "You'll get a stiff neck."
JC takes Lance's hand. "I'll get a stiff something."
"Then I'll just have to hurry home to take care of it."
"I'm counting on it."
"Then that's what we both have to hold onto."