The Clog
by Karen and LB
© 2002-4
Lance sits on the edge of the bed, tying his sneaker laces as JC sleeps coma-like next to him. He smiles and watches the rise and fall of the lean chest for a moment, before gently shaking his shoulder. "Darlin', time to get up," he says softly.
JC rubs his eyes and stretches. "Wha--? Why?"
"We got a lot to do today."
"You got a lot to do today. Not me."
"You have to walk the dog. And do the food shopping. And wait for the plumber."
"What plumber?"
"The one who's gonna fix the toilet."
"What's wrong with the toilet?"
"It doesn't flush. You can still use the one down the hall. But you have to call the plumber and be here to let him in, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." JC stretches again. "When will you be back?"
"Sometime in the afternoon. I have to meet with Wendy and Rich and stuff like that. And I need to get the truck washed and pick up the revised set list at Johnny's." He leans down and kisses JC's shoulder. "So can you please call the plumber while I'm gone?"
"I'll take care of it," JC promises.
"Thank you." This time Lance kisses JC's sleepy lips, and heads downstairs to retrieve his car keys. On the way, he stops in the kitchen for a bottle of water and writes "Call plumber, love you," on the message board.
JC drifts back to sleep, awakening a couple of hours later. He gets up, wanders into the bathroom, and remembers the problem with the toilet.
By the time JC makes it downstairs, he has his day planned in his head. He'll go food shopping first. That way, the plumber won't arrive while he's out of the house.
JC pours some food into the dog's bowl, then reaches for his keys, hanging on a rack by the door. He smiles at the message on the board above the key rack, and heads out.
Lance figures he'll swing by the car wash first, then meet Wendy and Rich for a late breakfast. He considers calling JC to remind him once again about the plumber, but decides, for now, not to nag. He's worried, though, that JC was half-asleep when he told him.
JC pulls into the grocery store lot and rummages in his backseat for a hat. It would be nice to go unrecognized today. As he gets out of the car, he notices the big, orange sign on the adjoining store. Home Depot. And the thought strikes him--people fix stuff themselves. HE could fix stuff himself. Well, if he knew how. But that's what they have books for, right? He turns and locates a bookstore. With a grin, he trots across the parking lot.
"So we're thinking of making an offer for this script but it'll need rewrites. You want me to call Johnny?" Wendy asks between sips of her latte.
"No, that's okay--I'm swinging by his place later so I can take care of it."
"Alone? Where's JC today?"
"Being JC," Lance says with a laugh. "Someone's gotta take care of the house."
JC carries bags into the house and quickly deposits the perishables in the refrigerator and freezer. Everything else sits in bags on floor and countertop as he sits at the kitchen table and pores over his new book. Finally, he takes the book and the bag of assorted plumbing stuff he'd bought at Home Depot and heads upstairs.
Breakfast over and decisions made, Lance heads to the drive-thru at the bank. There's a short line, so he decides to call JC.
JC is peering into the toilet tank, trying to match things up with the illustration in the book. When the phone rings he jumps, hitting his head on a shelf above. He darts into the bedroom and picks up the receiver, rubbing his head with the other hand. "Hello?"
"Hey darlin'. You sound out of breath. Were you running?"
"Just wanted to make sure the phone didn't go to voice mail."
"Oh. Well, how's everything going?"
"Good. I went shopping and the, uh, toilet will be fixed by the time you get home." JC colors slightly as the half-truth rolls off his tongue. "How are your meetings going?" he adds quickly.
"I'm a little behind. I might be a little late. So what time is the plumber coming?"
"How late?" JC asks, ignoring the last question. "Should I cook or do you wanna get take out? Or go out?"
"I thought we could cook together. I should be home by . . . I don't know, maybe six? I want to stop by Joey's to pick up some tapes. And I think he's coming to Johnny's with me."
"Okay, that's good. So I'll see you around six?"
"Yeah. You sure everything's okay? You sound funny."
"Everything's fine," JC says, looking up to see Jackson standing in the doorway with an imploring expression. "But Jackson needs to go out, so I'll see you later."
Lance doesn't give the conversation another thought as he drives to Joey's. He knows he can count on JC to get everything taken care of.
JC takes Jackson out, then in response to another particularly beseeching look from him, plays with him for a while. When he gets back to the master bath, he decides to try the simplest approach first. He pulls out a plunger and applies it vigorously, succeeding only in splashing himself and the room. He follows up with a snake, cranking till his arms hurt, with similar results, but less splashing.
At Joey's, Lance finds himself getting sidetracked by video games and some of Phyllis's leftover spaghetti, and by the time they head out it's late in the afternoon. On the way, Lance decides to call JC again to tell him he's going to be a little later than expected.
JC doesn't answer. He'd decided to take apart the tank assembly and had discovered he didn't have the right size wrench, so he'd taken another trip to Home Depot. On the way, he realized he hadn't eaten yet so he stopped for a burger and fries. He got stuck in traffic on the way back but, frustrated, finally made it home.
Not even stopping to check for massages, JC goes straight to the bathroom and starts taking things apart. Unfortunately, trying to make up for lost time, he misses a step and water starts pouring out. Confused, he consults his book and realizes he hadn't shut off the water valve. When he tries, it's stuck.
Earlier, Lance had left a message when JC didn't pick up, but this time he's starting to be a little concerned. He figures that JC must have fallen asleep by the pool with his walkman and just didn't hear the phone. So he heads to Johnny's with Joey, and they watch a movie before getting down to business.
JC looks around sadly. The entire room is wet, and he's having trouble finding a clean spot to bandage his hand. He's not even sure when he cut it--when he used the hammer to try to force the stuck handle to move? When the handle broke off? When he finally found the right wrench to stop the flow of water?
Johnny, Joey, and Lance find themselves brainstorming for the upcoming tour. In fact, Johnny has them listen to some possible up- and-coming opening acts. After, they bowl a few frames.
JC sops up the wet floor as well as he can, then gets back to work, taking the old valve assembly out successfully. He struggles with the new assembly and breaks off an essential part. He heads back to Home Depot again, not even noticing the stares of the other shoppers, who are apparently unaccustomed to having damp, disheveled pop stars in their midst.
Joey convinces Lance to go get some ice cream, and they hang out for a while, talking and enjoying the hot Florida sunshine.
JC comes back to the house, armed with what the plumbing department guy said was the best tank assembly he could buy-- quieter and more efficient. Lance will be pleased, JC thinks, ignoring the litter of old parts, new parts, sodden towels, and tools spread over the entire bathroom.
This time JC is very, very careful with the new assembly. He manages to get it in properly, then tackles replacing the shut-off valve. This time, he remembers, and treks to the basement to shut off the water supply to the house. He manages to get the valve replaced without much incident, although a bruise is already starting to darken on his arm where he bumped it when he lost his grip for a moment. One more trip downstairs and the water's back on.
JC flushes the toilet and hears the drip of a leak. He consults the instructions that came with the tank assembly and finds the loose connection, adjusting it.
****
"Dude," Joey says to Lance, laughing. "You left him all day with instructions to do the shopping and call the plumber? What is he, your housewife?"
"Yeah. Next week he'll be barefoot and pregnant. You're just jealous."
"You got it made, that's all I can say."
"I guess I do." Lance smiles wistfully, thinking how lucky he is to have someone like JC in his life. Checking his watch, he realizes he should have been home a while ago, so he drops Joey off and heads to the liquor store to pick up a nice bottle of wine that JC will like with dinner.
JC can't believe it. He fixed everything. It all works. He looks in dismay at the disarray of the room, half-heartedly moving some tools into a pile. But the pile of towels in the middle of the floor looks SO inviting . . .
Lance swings open the door and tosses his sunglasses and keys on the side table, whistling as he puts the wine in the kitchen. "Darlin', I'm home!" he calls out. When there's no answer, he wanders out back, but there's no sign of JC. He checks the phone messages, but there's nothing from JC, and his car is parked in the garage. Puzzled, he wanders through the house calling out JC's name at intervals. As he climbs the stairs, he thinks JC must be asleep, so he tiptoes into the bedroom but the bed is made and there are no clothes on the floor. Then he sees the open bathroom door and JC's feet. Thinking JC had an accident, he hurries over, but when he hears the familiar snore, he stands in the doorway and surveys the scene. Tools strewn everywhere. A pile of wet towels and JC lying on top. Lance rolls his eyes as he realizes the plumber never came today because JC never called the plumber. JC, in his constant eagerness to try new things, decided to fix the problem himself. Cautiously, Lance approaches the toilet as though it might leap up and bite him. He reaches for the handle, closes his eyes, and flushes. His heart races as he waits, but when he sees the water swirl quickly down the drain he smiles. He did it. JC actually fixed it. Bewildered, Lance crouches next to the sleeping form, and lightly touches the smudge on JC's cheek. He also notices a grayish bruise on JC's arm and sighs. Gathering JC in his arms, he carries him to the bed and lays him down gently.
Barely opening his eyes, JC smiles. "Hey, you're home. Did I fall asleep?"
"You sure did. What have you been up to?"
"I went food shopping. And took out the dog. And played with him. Oh, and I fixed the toilet."
"I noticed. You didn't have to do that."
"I wanted to. I never fixed plumbing before."
"Well, you did it. Thank you."
"No biggie," JC says, smiling as he remembers all the errors and near-catastrophes. "You still wanna cook?"
"I'll cook. You rest. It, um, looks like you had quite a day."
JC catches sight of his bandaged hand. "I guess I did. And I never finished cleaning up."
"The maid'll do it tomorrow." He lifts JC's hand to his lips. "Why'd you do it?"
"I don't know. I went to do the food shopping and I saw Home Depot and I thought 'people do this,' you know? I guess I wanted to see if I could."
"You can do anything you set your mind to."
"I guess I wanted to feel useful."
"You don't?"
JC looks away. "Sometimes."
Lance cups JC's chin and turns his face toward him. "You are. I need you."
JC looks up at Lance. "I know. But you know what I mean--like useful for anything practical."
"But you are. You know lots of stuff."
"You're biased."
"And you're so cute when you're fixing things."
"Cute. Riiight."
"Right. Did you wear a toolbelt? Because the toolbelt is key."
"I don't have a toolbelt."
"Then I'll just have to buy you one."
"Does that mean you don't mind if I try to fix things?"
Lance pretends to think about it for a minute, then turns back to JC. "Tell you what; next time a fuse blows it's all yours."
"Now you're just humoring me," JC says, pouting a little.
"No I'm not. Seriously, next time you want to fix something, you go right ahead. I just want you to be happy."
JC wraps his arms around Lance's waist and lays his head in Lance's lap. "I am happy."
"You're exhausted," Lance says, stroking JC's hair.
"Yeah. But I'm happy, too."
"Are you hungry? I can go get dinner started."
"Yeah. I should clean up, but then I'll help."
"You should just lay here and rest. You've done enough today."
"Any reason I need to rest up? You got anything in mind for after dinner?"
Lance shifts JC's head back onto the pillow and stretches out next to him. "I have to thank you for fixing the toilet."
"Hey, baby, I'm your handyman . . . "
"Winter, spring, summer, or fall?"
"How sweet it is . . . "
"It's very sweet," Lance purrs moving in close for a kiss.
JC meets Lance halfway and they share a long kiss. Which is interrupted by JC's stomach growling.
"I guess that's a hint I should get dinner going." Lance pushes himself up reluctantly. "I'll be back. You sleep." And then he kisses JC once more and heads to the kitchen. He decides on a casserole, and within an hour it's done. He prepares a tray with two plates of food, tucks the bottle of wine under his arm, clasps two of JC's favorite wine glasses in his fingers, and walks carefully up the stairs. When he passes through the bedroom doorway, JC is fast asleep on the bed. Lance stands for a moment, just watching. His heartbeat skips as he gazes upon his sleeping lover, so beautifully content in slumber.
The light coming in through the doorway makes JC wrinkle his nose and scrunch up his eyes, but then they open slowly and he smiles. "Something smells good."
"It's my cologne." Lance moves to the bed and places the tray at the foot, kisses JC, and with a flourish lays a napkin on his lap. "Dinner is served."
"I could get spoiled like this."
"You could get?" Lance repeats, grinning, and setting a plate of food on JC's lap.
"Hey, I offered to help."
"I think you've helped enough today." He deftly opens the wine and pours a generous amount into one glass and hands it to JC. He pours another for himself and raises it. "To your skills as a plumber."
"To your skills as a cook," JC replies with a grin.
"You haven't tasted it yet."
"I've smelled it." JC lifts a forkful to his mouth. "And now I've tasted it. So good."
"You'd say that if I served you fried rat."
"No I wouldn't. Of course, it would be better with mushrooms."
"Ugh! No way! I should take away your plate for that."
JC grips his plate tightly and gives Lance his best puppy-dog eyes. "But I'm so hungry."
"Okay, I guess you can eat. After all, you gave Bob Vila a run for his money today."
"So, are you gonna buy me a toolbelt?"
"First thing tomorrow. So, when you bend over, do you have that butt-crack thing going on?"
"Only if you want me to."
"Why don't you just forget the tool belt and go straight to the butt crack."
"You can see that any time you want."
"Can I see it after dinner?"
"Mr. Bass, are you seducing me?"
"Here's to you, Mr. Chasez."
"I'm not hungry anymore."
Lance takes the plates and piles them on the tray, then puts the tray on the floor. "Casseroles are always better when you reheat them," he says, when he returns to JC's side.
JC looks at Lance through a tangle of curls. "And I've been lying around in these damp clothes for hours."
"Then we better get you out of them." He eases JC's shirt up and over his head and tosses it on the floor. "You might catch pneumonia."
"What would I do without you to take care of me?"
"I think you'd manage just fine. You know how to fix a toilet now." He's unzipping JC's jeans while kissing his cheeks, his nose, his fleshy earlobe.
"My one accomplishment."
"You can out-sing anyone. And fix a toilet." Now JC's pants join the damp shirt on the floor.
"I'm a real renaissance cat."
"You are. And I think now it's time for you to use another of your many skills."
"Aw, honey. Do I have to polish the silver tonight?"
"No, not the silver."
"Well, I'm a little naked to walk the dog."
"A little? Oh yeah, you're still wearing these." He tugs at JC's black boxer briefs. "Now you're a lot naked."
"Now I'm cold and naked."
"Aw, let me warm you up." Lance rolls over, covering JC's cool, naked body.
"That's better," JC says, contentedly, wrapping his arms around Lance. "I've wanted to do this all day."
"I thought you wanted to fix the plumbing all day."
"Fixing the plumbing was just something to do until I could do this."
"Since you fixed that plumbing, I should fix this plumbing." Lance takes JC's hot member in his hand and strokes it to hardness.
"You got tools?"
"Only one." He dips down and nuzzles JC's neck, then licks his way down to his chest, taking time to caress each nipple with his tongue.
"One is all you need if you know how to use it."
"Oh, I know how to use it." To demonstrate, he trails his tongue down JC's smooth chest to his navel, and then to the fine line of hairs leading to the delectable morsel below.
"You're . . . mmm . . . very skilled."
"I watched This Old House," Lance says, lifting his head and then resuming his "work."
"Learned that from Bob Vila, hmm?"
"No, I learned that from you." He slowly works his way around the erection, swirling his tongue over JC's balls and back up again, until finally he takes the moist tip of the throbbing organ in his mouth.
"I must be a good teacher," JC says, fading into a little moan.
"Mmm hmm," Lance murmurs, bringing his hands up to JC's hips as he draws JC's erection in further.
JC's hands move to Lance's head, cradling it, fondling the spiky hair. Lance moves his lips over the length, slowly, patiently. With one hand, he fondles JC's balls, hoping to increase his excitement.
The frustrations and difficulties of the day drain out of JC as Lance slowly builds the pleasure in him. He sighs contentedly, then gasps as Lance changes his movements.
Quickening his pace, Lance takes JC deep into his throat, then draws him out till he almost releases him, then takes him back in before JC has time to react.
Even after all their time together, Lance can still make JC practically scream with pleasure. Like now. JC's fingers tighten in Lance's hair, and he makes a conscious effort to relax them.
Lance devours JC, hungrily taking him in, using his tongue to add friction, concentrating only on pleasing his lover.
JC arches into Lance, his entire body quivering with the need to come, the effort of holding on for one. More. Moment.
Lance pauses, his mouth covering JC's heat, and breathes hotly before sliding his lips down.
"Laaaaaanccccce!" JC cries as he comes, his head thrown back and his hands again reaching to cup Lance's head.
As JC's essence fills him, Lance feels the warmth of JC's love spread through his entire body. He waits until the orgasm subsides, and then swallows. Finally, he lifts his head and rests his chin on JC's chest. "I think this plumbing problem has been fixed."
"Good as new," JC says, still breathing hard.
"Next time you're having plumbing problems, you know who to call."