Number 27 in the series.
****
Forever Young: Be My Valentine
c2003-4 by Karen and LB
Lunch is a much needed break in a day of rehearsals, and the guys are ready for it when the time comes. They've already been working for several hours and they're both tired and energized. JC drops into a chair beside Lance, both of them unwrapping subs. "So, Valentine's day is Sunday," he says, not too loudly. "What do you wanna do? Stay in? Go out?"
Lance knows he has to play it cool--he's planning to surprise JC with tickets to this weekend's Sting concert. So he shrugs, swallowing the bite of his sandwich and says, "Go out, I guess. Maybe see a movie or something? "
"You're such a romantic," JC teases.
"Me? What about you? 'So, you wanna go out? Stay in?' " Lance mimics.
"I was gonna, like, light candles if we stayed in," JC says, dripping sincerity, then giggling.
"Candles? Wow! That's really romantic. Like, birthday candles?"
"Anniversary candles. And spell out Josh loves Lance."
"With rose petals?"
"With pecan pralines."
"Mmmm, maybe we should stay in."
"You only love me for my pralines?"
"It's my favorite nut."
"You're my favorite nut."
Lance makes his squirrel face, then laughs. "So we're on?"
"We're on." JC smiles and finishes his sandwich. In a few minutes, they're called back to work.
Everything was set. He had the tickets ready and reservations at JC's favorite Orlando restaurant. Tomorrow night would be theirs.
Or so Lance thought.
When the phone rings he thinks it's his mother so he answers cheerfully. But when Danielle's voice greets him, he's puzzled. He just spoke to her yesterday and he wasn't going to be seeing her until the next show.
"Guess where I am?"
"Uh, where?"
"Lou's office! It was a surprise--he flew me in for the weekend!"
Lance's chest tightens. "You're here? Why?"
"For Valentine's, silly."
"For . . . you came down to see me on Valentine's Day? But I'm not supposed to see you until next week."
"Lou called and told me to come. Isn't it great? I've missed you, sweetie."
"I've missed you too," Lance says, chewing his nails. "How long are you gonna be here?"
"Just for the weekend. I go back on Monday."
"That's . . . " sucky, thinks Lance. "Great. So, um, maybe we can get together tonight or something."
"Sweetie, the whole point was for us to be able to go out on Valentine's Day."
"But I didn't think you were coming this weekend."
"So?"
"So I, um, had plans."
"Lance, how would it look if we're in the same town for Valentine's Day and we don't go out?"
It would look bad, at least according to Lou, thinks Lance. And now that their relationship has been publicized, everything they do or don't do will be scrutinized. And if he tells Danielle about JC she might get mad and tell Lou. "But . . . you're right. I guess people would wonder."
"That's better. So, where are you taking me?" Danielle laughs. "Actually, I think Lou might have all that planned out too."
"WHAT? He won't even let us plan our own dates?"
Danielle shrugs so elaborately that Lance can practically hear it over the phone. "I guess he wants to make sure we're seen."
Seething, Lance fights to control his temper. He grabs a pillow from the couch and squeezes it, taking a deep breath. "So what are we supposed to do?"
"Tonight we're supposed to hit all the clubs. Tomorrow, dinner at Manuel's. Then we're supposed to go to some concert later. Just for the headliner, I guess."
"Wait a second, he planned out the whole weekend?" At the word "concert" Lance's stomach drops. Sting is the only big concert this weekend.
"You know Lou. He likes to plan."
"But what we do is none of his business."
"Aw, Lance. He's just trying to give us a good Valentine's Day."
"It's not for him to decide. It's for us. Is he going to come on the date with us?"
"Well, what would you like to do?"
"I'd like to take you out, just the two of us. Maybe go horseback riding or something."
"Lance, the point is to be seen."
"Who cares if we're seen? Can't we just be friends without everyone watching us?"
"Is that what we are? Friends? Still?"
"Well, yeah. You know I like you, Danielle. But I don't think we can be anything more than that."
"I thought we were moving beyond that. Since Christmas, we've been . . . different."
"Danielle, can we talk about this tonight?"
"Yeah, I guess. Lou's sending a limo, so I guess I'll pick you up."
They settle on a time, and Lance sits back on the couch, a nervous hand pulling at imaginary threads on his jeans. He dreads the call to JC, but knows he has to do it. But instead of calling he decides to deal with this face to face.
JC is surprised when Lance shows up at his door. "Hey, babe. What's up?"
"We need to talk."
JC looks anxiously into Lance's face. "Nothing good ever started with those words."
"It's not good. Danielle's here."
"Oh. I thought, next weekend. You were going to see her next weekend."
"I was. Lou seems to think differently."
"Let Lou go out with her, then."
"I wish. But he's got all this stuff planned so we can be "seen."
"The whole weekend?" JC asks, doubtfully.
"Um, yeah. So that means Valentine's Day is off." Even as he says it, Lance feels a stab in his heart.
"But it's our . . . " JC stops, blinks, looks down.
Lance puts a hand on JC's shoulder, sensing he's near tears. "I know. Our anniversary. This sucks. I tried to think of a way I can get out of it, but if I don't go out with Danielle Lou will wonder why."
"I know. It's not your fault," JC says in a tight, quiet voice.
"I am so sorry. I don't know how, but I WILL make this up to you."
JC silently wraps his arms around Lance, pulling him very close.
The guilt washes over Lance like a leaky faucet. "I have to go. I have to have dinner with Danielle."
JC releases Lance and steps back, eyes downcast.
Lance clasps his hands behind JC's neck and tries to capture his eyes. "We'll go out someplace special. Just you and me."
JC looks up briefly. "Sorry to be such a baby about this."
"You're not. It sucks that I can't be with you this weekend."
"Yeah. It does."
Later that night, Lance does as he's expected to do, and normally he loves being out at the clubs. But this feels so forced that it's as though it's someone else out there on the dance floor. All he can think about is JC, and where he is and what he's doing, and wishing he were there with him.
"That was fun," Danielle says happily when they finally climb into the limo at the end of the night. "See? We're good together."
Lance pats her hand. "We're good friends."
"Yeah, that's why you've been making out with me every chance you get."
"I kissed you once."
"Once?"
"Maybe more than once. But Danielle, we can't keep doing that."
"Why? We're good together. We could make this something real."
"Darlin', you're busy and I'm busy. We don't have time for a serious relationship."
"We could make time."
"I can't--we have the tour coming up. You could come out when you can, but I can't give you more than that. I wish I could."
"So, you would want to be with me, if it wasn't for the tour?"
"I don't know. I just don't think . . . I don't feel that way about you. I love our friendship, but I don't think there could ever be anything more."
"So what was this? An experiment?"
"No. Not at all. It just happened. I'm not saying I didn't like kissing you, because I did. But I can't give you anything more."
"Coming out here for Valentine's Day was just stupid."
"It wasn't my idea."
"I thought maybe . . . when Lou called . . . that it was."Lance turns so he's facing Danielle. "If I had wanted to spend Valentine's Day with you I would have called. It's not that I don't like spending time with you--it's just that I wasn't planning on seeing you this weekend."
"You had something better to do." It's a statement, not a question.
"I had plans." He starts to chew his nails.
"With your mysterious girlfriend."
Lance gazes out the window. He can't tell her. The fewer people who know the safer he and JC will be. His stomach churns. He hates having to lie to Danielle, and he hates that he can't be with his boyfriend. "Look, I'll spend the weekend with you. But please don't ask for anything more."
The limo pulls up outside Danielle's hotel. "I think you're wrong, Lance. We could have had something good."
"We do. We're friends."
The door is opened, and Danielle doesn't answer, but simply slides out of the car and walks into the hotel.
Lance spends the night tossing and turning, knowing the rest of the weekend won't be much different. He considers calling JC, but at this hour he knows his boyfriend is probably asleep. So he lies awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out how he's going to balance his friendship with Danielle with his desire to be with JC.
JC had tried to keep himself busy, writing for a while and trying to watch movies on TV. But his mind kept going back to that Valentine's Day three years ago, when a very nervous boy had knocked on his door and innocently suggested they go get dinner. They've come a long way since then; they've been through a lot. But it's only in the past few months that JC has really been afraid of losing Lance.
*****
"Hey darlin', I just wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's Day . . . and a Happy Anniversary."
"You too, baby. What time is it? Where are you?"
"I'm home. It's early. I know I probably woke you but I have to leave soon to take Danielle shopping."
"It's okay. I'm glad you called.""Listen, I, um, have two tickets for the Sting concert waiting at the Will Call window. I was going to take you, but you might as well go. Ask Justin or whoever you want."
"Oh." JC says softly. "I . . . thank you for doing that. Planning that, even if we can't . . . "
Lance can hear the hurt in JC's voice, and it's as though his own heart is breaking in his chest. "We will. Not tonight, but as soon as Danielle is gone we'll be together."
"I love you."
"I love you, too," Lance manages to say without his voice cracking.
"I . . . I'll see you tomorrow."
Dinner, photographs, a limo ride to the concert. It's like being in a movie instead of on a date. Behind his smile, Lance wonders how long he can keep up this charade.
"That was a great dinner. Really romantic," Danielle purrs in the limo.
"Yeah, it's a nice place."
"Maybe I should come visit more often."
"You know I'm going on tour soon."
"I could meet up with you on the road."
"Sure, but you have to start taping again soon, don't you?"
"Yeah, but maybe if I was around more, you'd like me better."
"Oh darlin', I do like you. I like you a lot.""Just not enough."
"Just not the way you want me to."
"Yeah," Danielle says as they pull up outside the arena. "It's so sad."
"It doesn't have to be. What we have is good."
"For you, maybe."
"If this is too hard for you, then maybe . . . we should cool it for a while."
"You really think Lou is gonna go for that? And my people?"
"This shouldn't be about what other people want. It should be about what WE want."
"You're such a little boy."
Lance tries to hide his irritation at the implication of that statement. "Let's just go inside."
"Look, I'm sorry. I just really like you, Lance. And I want it to be more."
Deciding for both of them that this conversation is best put aside for a time when they can really talk, Lance plays the good "boyfriend" and helps Danielle out of the car and hurries them both inside the arena.
They find their seats and settle in. The opening acts have finished, and Sting should be on soon. Danielle looks around, then taps Lance on the arm. "Look. Isn't that JC?" she asks, pointing across the aisle.
Lance's eyes follow where Danielle is pointing, and sure enough, there's JC. His heart sinks. But Lance can't see who JC is sitting with. "I'll be right back," he says to Danielle, then approaches JC.
JC is sitting, watching the empty stage, oblivious to the noise and activity around him. But he immediately senses Lance's presence and looks up. "Lance. Hey."
"Hi. I didn't realize our seats would be so close."
JC smiles ruefully. "Kinda ironic, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess. So, who'd you come with?"
JC hesitates. "I, no one could come on such short notice."
"Oh. I'm sorry. We could ask someone to switch with you so you could sit with us."
JC looks hopeful. "Do you think that would be okay with Danielle?"
"Sure, she'll love it." Lance heads back to his seat and speaks with the person sitting next to Danielle, explaining the situation and motioning to JC.
With Lance's winning smile and natural courtesy, it doesn't take long to convince their neighbors to switch, and JC joins Lance and Danielle.
Lance figures the safest thing to do is to sit between them. "Thanks for being so cool about this," he says to Danielle.
"No problem. I like JC. And it would be a shame for him to have to sit alone."
Lance never expected Valentine's Day to turn out like this. The person everyone thinks is his girlfriend is on his right, and the guy who no one knows is really his boyfriend is on his left. "This is fun."
JC looks across Lance and smiles at Danielle. "Thanks. Sorry to, like, interrupt your date."
"It's okay, JC," Danielle replies, a smile plastered to her face. "I hardly ever get a chance to talk to you."
"No, you and Lance are always so busy when you come to visit."
"So maybe the three of us should do something next weekend."
You're still coming next weekend after the sneak attack of this weekend? JC thinks, but he says, "That would be nice."
"Great! Maybe we can go to Busch Gardens or something."
Lance sinks lower in his seat. A threesome is not what he had in mind. The nagging feeling he'd been sensing early in the evening has doubled. He wants to touch JC's hand, give him some reassurance that Danielle is nothing more than a friend, but in this public setting he can't.
JC senses Lance's discomfort, but doesn't know what to do about it. Fortunately, the lights dim and they're able to give their attention the stage.
For now, Lance relaxes and enjoys the concert. Sting gets the audience up and dancing, but when the lights dim and the first notes of "Fragile" are played, Lance looks over at JC.
It's a perfect moment, in spite of everything. They're together and their favorite Sting song is being performed. Under the protective cover of darkness, JC reaches over to clasp Lance's hand.
Lance squeezes back, imagining it's just the two of them, and that they are dancing, arms wrapped around each other as the music plays.
The whole crowd is swaying with the gentle rhythm of the song, and JC and Lance sway, too. The rest of the world might as well not exist for all they're aware of it.
"I just love this song!" Danielle shouts, breaking their moment.
JC releases Lance's hand, squeezing it first to let Lance know the connection's still there.
After, the boys manage to get backstage briefly to meet Sting, and Danielle suggests they hit the clubs.
"I should, um, let you two go," JC demurs, reluctantly.
"No, come with us," pleads Lance.
"Are you sure?" JC asks, looking from Lance to Danielle and back.
Danielle glares at Lance, then a smile spreads across her face. "I'm sure. At least I'll have someone to dance with."
"Then, um, yeah. I'll come with you."
As predicted, Danielle makes every effort to pull JC onto the dance floor, leaving Lance in the VIP area by himself.
After they dance for a while, JC says, "Maybe we should go back. Lance is by himself."
"He's fine. He always finds someone to talk to."
"We're not being very polite. He'll think I'm, um, trying to steal his girl."
"Are you?""No! Of course not! We're best friends, Danielle, all of us. We don't do that."
"But you've thought about it? Maybe just a little?"
"Not even a little. You're a sweet girl, Danielle, but I think of you as a little sister."
"Well, it's a good thing Lance doesn't think that way."
"Yeah, that's why you're dating him, not me," JC says, uncomfortably. "Let's go find him, okay?"
"Hey, there you two are," Lance says, as they approach the table. "You looked good out there," he directs at Danielle, but he turns his head and winks at JC.
JC manages to roll his eyes without Danielle seeing. "The DJ's really good," he mutters, then turns to Danielle. "Um, thank you for dancing with me."
"We'll have to do it again--maybe next weekend."
JC turns to Lance and grins. "So, Lance, you want me along on all your dates?"
"I think we need a chaperone."
"As long as I'd be useful."
"You'd be very useful."
"We don't need a chaperone," Danielle interjects, then runs her fingers up Lance's chest. "Or do we?"
Blushing, Lance captures the hand and brings it down to his side, then stammers, "Maybe we should go. We . . . I . . . me and JC have to be at rehearsal early tomorrow."
"Yeah," JC says earnestly. "REAL early. And when's your flight?"
"Early," Danielle agrees, none too graciously.
"So I guess we should get home so you can make your flight."
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Danielle asks in the car on the way to the hotel.
"No, of course not. But this week is gonna be grueling."
Danielle pouts. "Maybe we should call off next weekend, if it's going to be so grueling."
"I want you to come. Really."
"Well, maybe."
"Come. We'll have a good time."
"I think your idea of a good time isn't the same as mine."
"We can have a good time without, you know, being that way.""Yeah, but it's frustrating, knowing you don't want me."
"I'm sorry. But there's nothing I can do about that. And, um, if you can't handle just being friends, maybe we should cool it."
"They won't let us."
"They don't own us."
"Try telling Lou that."
"Lou doesn't own you."
"No. But I wouldn't want to get on his bad side, either."
"He can't do anything to you."
"I don't want him to hurt you. I do like you, Lance."
"And I like you too. So let's just . . . not think about it too much. We both have so much going on right now."
"Yeah, okay. I should tell you something, though."
Lance's brow furrows. "What?"
"I--look, I'm not proud of this. I came on to JC. I was hoping it would get you jealous."
Lance practically has to bite his lip to keep from laughing. "What did he do?"
"He turned me down flat. Said he thought of me as a little sister."
"Do you want him to think of you as more than a sister?"
"Not really. Like I said, I was trying to make you jealous."
"If we were really dating, I would be."
"I guess that's something."
"You really are special, you know that?"
"That's what people keep telling me."
"It's true. I really like having you as a friend."
"I guess we'll have to work on that."
Lance exits the car and holds the door open for Danielle, and he hugs her and kisses her cheek before stepping back inside the vehicle. "I'll call you this week."
"Okay. And I had a great time."
When Lance returns to his house, he's not sure which is more stressful--the anticipation of a heavy rehearsal week or balancing his friendship with Danielle with his relationship with JC. Danielle would be a great friend if she would just stop pressuring him.
"Hey," JC says softly as Lance comes in the door.
"You're still up."
"Yeah. I wanted to see you. I kinda, you know, like you and all . . . "
"Just like?"
"Nah. I was just bein' all cool."
"You're chill, dude."
"You're so cute when you try to be dope."
"Hey, I'm down with it."
"You can get down whenever you want."
"How about now?" Lance asks, closing the gap between them.
"Now works for me."
Without another word, Lance presses his lips to JC's and walks them back toward the wall.
"Mmm, not here," JC murmurs and leads Lance toward the bedroom, which is lit with candles. And spread across the bed are pecan pralines spelling Josh Loves Lance, as they'd joked about.
Lance stops in the doorway, stunned by what he sees. After the way things went this weekend, it's the last thing he expected to see. "Oh my gosh, you did all this?"
"We deserved something out of this big mess."
Lance moves to the edge of the bed and fingers the pralines. "I'm sorry it happened the way it did. I really wanted to spend the day with you."
"I know you did. This was just . . . bad timing or something."
"Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"Um, Danielle wants to, like, get serious."
"Real serious. That's why she came on to me."
"She told me. She said she was trying to make me jealous."
"So, what are you saying, Lance? Do you think she was behind this weekend, not Lou?"
"I don't know. But she keeps talking about how she wants us to really be a couple."
"And what do you want?"
"I want to be friends."
JC sighs. "You've got to get out of this."
"But I like her. I really do. I just don't like her like that."
"I know," JC says softly."But if she likes you like that, she's gonna get hurt."
Lance falls back against the mattress, defeated. "I know. I tried to tell her that I'm not interested in anything more than a friendship, but she thinks I'll change. The right thing to do would be to tell her the truth, but I don't want to do that to you."
"Do you trust her enough to do that?" JC asks, picking up scattered pralines.
With eyes on the ceiling, Lance thinks about it. "I'd like to, but I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone outside the group."
"Then this is just gonna keep getting harder."
"I know." He rolls onto his side and pauses. "You know any time you want out . . . um, I'd understand."
"Is . . . is that what you want?"
"No. I want to be with you. But I also want to be friends with Danielle. I just don't want anyone to get hurt."
"I know you don't. But I'm afraid that's what's gonna happen."
Lance looks at JC for a long moment. "I don't want to break up with you."
"I don't want to break up with you, either."
"Then we don't."
"Good. I'd hate to have all these cookies go to waste."
"Someone's gonna have to eat them."
"Tomorrow," JC says, glancing at the clock. "We really do have to get to rehearsal early."
"Okay, mom." Lance begins collecting the cookies and puts them in the box on the nightstand.
"If your mom wasn't so cool, I'd be insulted."
"Someone's gotta keep me in line."
JC moves around the room, blowing out candles. "Kind of hard to do when you're being pulled in so many directions."
Lance starts to change into his pajamas, fatigue taking its toll, as he listens. Yes, JC knows him all too well. That's exactly what's happening to him. "It's not easy having a girlfriend and trying to have a music career."
"We'll figure something out." JC, having stripped to his shorts and T-shirt, yawns and sits on the edge of the bed, picking up a few remaining crumbs. Lance hears this from the bathroom, where he's just splashed water on his face and brushed his teeth. Something, yes, but what? He still cannot understand how he became a pawn in Lou's push for publicity.
JC is still sitting on the bed when Lance comes out of the bathroom. Lance looks very young in his pajamas, with his hair tousled as if he'd already slept. "Come here," JC says softly, turning back the covers.
Silently, Lance climbs in and curls up on his side, facing JC.
JC turns off the light and slides an arm around Lance, kissing him lightly. "It'll be okay. It has to be."
"I love you, JC. No matter what."
"I love you, too. So much."
"Then no matter what I say or do with Danielle, you have to remember that."
"It's hard. But I'll try."
Somewhat assured that everything is okay for now, Lance kisses JC softly and closes his eyes. He feels secure for now. But that will all change in the coming weeks.