Backstage Boys

by Karen and LB
© 2002

Once again, it started with talking about something we'd seen-- specifically, when Lance said about Giddy Up: "It's not about horses. I promise you, it's not about horses," and we said "what if someone had called him on that?" This one ended up being a little more serious than our other efforts. And longer. In fact, this is the first part of a trilogy.

Disclaimer: It's not about real life. I promise you, it's not about real life.

"Okay, Lance, it's not about horses. What IS it about?"

"Well, um, it's about, um, oh my goodness . . . "

"Go on, Lance."

"Um, well, you know, it's about, oh my goodness, is it getting hot in here? JC, dude, help me out here."

"You're on your own, dude. I'm just dying to hear what you have to say."

"JC! <blush> I can't talk about THAT."

"Everyone's waiting, Lance."

"Well, see, it's about, when um, you know, oh my goodness. JC, can I talk to you a minute? In PRIVATE?!"

"Sure, Lance. Where would you like to go?"

"The dressing room. NOW."

"Ooh, I love when you get all forceful."

<blush> "I am not. I just want to talk to you, putting me on the spot like that."

"I didn't put you on the spot, Lance. You did that all by yourself. I just stopped by to watch the fun."

"You loved every minute of it. You know I can't talk about that kind of stuff in public."

"Whoa! Where is this coming from? YOU brought this up. YOU called me over. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself."

"I brought this up? JC, you were the one who wanted me to talk about . . . THAT . . . in a roomful of fans! What am I supposed to say? That the song is about . . . is about . . . oh, you know."

"Dude, I wasn't even in the room when you started."

"You're just trying to worm your way out of this. Well, it's not gonna work, JC. You're gonna take some responsibility for this. I can't even go back out there."

"So we should stay in here? THAT won't get people talking."

"Well, YOU can go out there. If you really want to."

"Do you want me to go, Lance?"

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, JC. But I'd like it if you stayed."

"Then I'll stay. So, what are we going to do while we're hiding out here?"

"I don't know. We could talk. Wait. That’s how I got into trouble in the first place."

"Maybe we could talk about how you can NOT get into trouble when you talk . . . "

"But what was I supposed to do? And you didn't help any."

"Okay, I admit when you called me over, I could have been a little more helpful. But Lance, you can't say suggestive things unless you're willing to follow up on them. You know the press, the fans, everyone's gonna jump all over you."

"Everyone? Look, I didn't say anything suggestive. Someone asked about that song, and well, I, um, I just--what was I supposed to say?"

"Nothing. You could have said nothing. Just given them that cute little smile of yours . . . "

"Josh! <blush> You are NOT helping. I can't go on tonight. Not like this."

"Not like what, Lance?"

"Well, look at me, Josh, I'm all . . . tense."

"Yeah, you are." JC points to the couch. "Sit." He sits as well, and, turning the younger boy away from him, places his hands on Lance's shoulders and begins pressing his thumbs into Lance's neck.

Lance tenses at first, then takes a deep breath and allows JC to work his muscles. He closes his eyes and feels the tension slowly, very slowly, drain from his body. He instinctively leans into JC's hands, urging him to press harder and deeper.

"Josh, that feels really good." He shifts on the couch they are sitting on to allow JC better access.

"I'm just doing this to relax him," JC reminds himself. "Nothing more." He repeats it like a mantra. He isn't convinced.

Lance's head falls forward and he purrs quietly as JC's fingers press into the tight flesh of his neck. When they travel lower and hit a knot, Lance straightens. "Ow!"

"Sorry, sorry." JC reaches for the troublesome spot again, and Lance almost flinches, but relaxes again when he feels how gentle JC's touch has become.

Lance sighs. "Thanks, Josh. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, it was only a question, right? But still, that song, you know?" He blushes again.

"I know. You just have to learn to be careful." JC continues to gently work the knot. "He's so YOUNG," he thinks.

"I know. I'm trying. I'm just not used to being asked those sort of questions. I mean, back home we just didn't, I mean in the locker room, sure, but . . . "

"Yeah, I know. But the press--they're always looking for something to give us a hard time about. And the fans are worse sometimes. They try to read something into every little thing we do or say."

Lance's brow furrows. A look of disappointment crosses his face briefly, and even if JC had been facing him it would have gone undetected. Lance hesitates before speaking. "So, are you saying that if they saw us now, they might read something into it? Something that's . . . " He almost doesn't want to finish the sentence, but he knows if he doesn't the words will remain unspoken forever and he'll never know. "...not there?"

JC's hands freeze, and he can feel the boy's pulse jumping under his still fingers. "Yeah," he says carefully. "Or something that might be."

Lance swallows and takes a deep breath. He turns his head so he can just see beyond his shoulder. But he's not ready to look JC in the eye. "Might?" There's just a trace of hope in his voice as he speaks the dreaded word.

JC feels a pang as he hears Lance's tone. His mind races through all the reasons he shouldn't pursue this. Lance's youth. The repercussions in the group. The label, the press, the fans. Yet how can he NOT? He tightens his grip on the boy's shoulders and very softly says "Is."

For a moment, Lance is afraid to speak. He thinks of the past few weeks, how during photo shoots he would often catch JC looking at him and smiling, or how JC would fix Lance's collar or adjust his shirts, or how Lance would sneak glances at JC during rehearsals, admiring the way his friend could so easily pick up complex choreography like it was programmed into him. But Lance had kept it all suppressed because he never dreamed that JC felt the same way. Lance isn't even sure how he feels, only that he loves the feel of JC's gentle hands on his shoulders and his breath on his back. Finally, very quietly, almost a whisper, he says, "So, what are you saying?"

JC moves closer and lays his head on Lance's shoulder. "I-I'm not sure. But maybe we could figure it out, together?"

At the sudden close contact Lance feels a bolt of electricity go through his entire body. He's not sure what to do next. He feels paralyzed. This is all so new to him. So exciting. He's afraid if he moves JC will get up and run. "Together." He repeats the word, relishing the way it sounds. He wants to touch the face that is so close to his. He stares at his hands, willing them to move, but he's still afraid.

JC feels a shudder run through Lance, then realizes that it's not so much a shudder as that the boy is trembling, which moves him immeasurably. Scary as this is for him, how much scarier must it be for Lance, who'd had the courage to speak first? He slides his arms down from Lance's shoulders and wraps them around him, pulling Lance into a tight embrace.

Lance stiffens momentarily at the sudden show of affection but soon relaxes, knowing that JC did it all on his own. He feels tears well in his eyes, but he wills them away. He doesn't want his friend to see this burst of emotion. Instead, he leans back into the embrace and covers JC's hands with his own.

They sit that way for a very long time, neither wishing to separate, neither quite sure what to do next. After many moments pass, JC pulls away but only long enough to turn Lance in his arms, so they are finally face to face.

Lance, normally very comfortable around his friends, suddenly feels very shy. He feels his face getting hot and knows he must be blushing. He reaches a tentative hand out to touch JC's fingers, those long, slender fingers that seem to have so much power. He lifts his eyes to his friend, then, with a lump in his throat, asks, "Can I . . . can I . . . ," but he can't seem to get the words out. He looks down at the small space of couch between them.

JC lays his cool hand against Lance's hot cheek, then curves it under the boy's chin, lifting his head and willing him to meet his eyes. The fingers of JC's other hand intertwine with the fingers that had so tentatively reached for him. He leans forward and very gently touches his lips to Lance's. He continues pressing soft kisses into Lance's lips until he feels him respond, then pulls back slightly. "Is that what you had in mind?" he asks, his voice caressing.

Lance's voice cracks as he struggles to answer. "Yes." He licks his lips and swallows, and gazes at JC with wide eyes. Very slowly he brings his lips to the other boy's, only soon the kiss becomes more urgent. He brings the hand not holding JC's around the older boy's back.

JC allows his hand to slide into Lance's hair, so much softer than it looks. He resists the urge to crush the boy to him--he doesn't want to frighten him. Instead, he lets Lance set the pace. His good intentions are almost undone, however, when he feels Lance's tongue pressing against his lips, and, as he parts them, slipping into his mouth.

Lance moans at JC's willingness to let him explore. He's soon rewarded when JC's tongue intertwines with his own, and he relishes the touch of JC's hand in his hair. He pulls the older boy even closer, and soon his body heat sends off another wave of arousal. He doesn't want the kiss to end.

And it doesn't, not for a very long time. JC releases Lance's hand and wraps his now free arm around the boy's waist. Slowly, without breaking their kiss, JC lowers himself down onto the couch, pulling Lance with him, until he is fully supine, Lance atop him.

With their bodies pressed so close together, Lance suddenly pulls back. "I'm sorry," he stammers, practically breathless, his face now flushed. "I shouldn't have assumed you . . . " he stops, scared of what JC will do now. Will he get up and leave, angry that Lance was being so forward?

"Lance, what are you apologizing for?" JC laughs gently. "Does anything about this"--his hand indicates the couch and their position on it--"indicate to you that I don't want to be here?" His hand is under Lance's chin again, forcing the boy to look into his lust-hazed yet intense blue eyes. "Does THIS?"

JC's words are more than Lance could have hoped for. He wasn't running. He wasn't pushing Lance off. Still afraid to allow their bodies to touch, Lance shakes his head. "No, I just . . . " He lets his words trail off. Instead, he lowers himself with his arms, gingerly, afraid of what further contact will do to him. He kisses JC again, this time gently, timidly. Once again, their lips part and Lance's tongue finds JC's.

JC wraps his arms tightly around Lance again, less afraid than Lance of the contact. Craving it in fact. If Lance had ANY idea how long JC has wanted to do this . . . Would it reassure him or frighten him? JC isn't sure. He only knows he has seldom in his life felt as right than he does at this moment.

Lance feels the strain on his arms as JC pulls him down and finally gives in. He can no longer resist his attraction to his friend, after all this time. He allows himself to rest on top of the lean, strong body below him. With hands on either side of JC, he begins to kiss his face, tasting the salty, clean skin and moving down to his chin and neck, paying special attention to that area.

Lance finds an especially sensitive spot and JC practically growls his name. The impassioned sound as much as or more than JC's earlier words finally makes Lance realize that this is not as one sided as he had thought--that maybe JC wants him as much as he wants JC.

Lance pauses to look up. "Josh," he rasps, "you don't know how long I've wanted to do this." He returns his attentions to JC's throat, then over to his ear, which he nibbles gently.

"Not as long as I have." He returns one hand to Lance's hair and guides his mouth back to his own. He can't get enough of Lance's soft lips, his hot mouth, his probing tongue.

Lance tries his best to suppress his shock at JC's words. Did JC just say that he wanted Lance? Lance cannot believe that he's kissing the object of his affection at this very moment. His whole face feels hot and he can practically hear his heartbeat. His tongue explores JC's mouth, feeling his teeth, his delicious tongue, his entire mouth. Lance's body is stretched nearly the length of JC's, and his legs are slightly bent on either side of JC's. Their hips are pressed together, and now Lance feels a stirring in his groin.

JC moans into Lance's mouth as their hips make contact. It makes him feel like--well, like throwing Lance to the floor and taking him then and there. But he reins in those impulses, knowing instinctively that moving too quickly or aggressively could scare off the boy in his arms. So he contents himself with stoking his hands up and down Lance's back and losing himself in their hot, sweet kisses.

Lance shudders at the sensation of JC's hands on his back. He breathes heavily into JC's neck and places one hand on his chest-- the only thing separating their bodies. Suddenly, he stops and slowly sits up, embarrassed. He looks down, at the floor. "Josh, there's something you should know." He runs a hand through his hair, already mussed. "I, um, I've never, oh gosh . . . "

JC puts a finger to Lance's lips. "Shhh. I know. And we can take this very slowly. We won't do anything EVER that you don't want or that you aren't ready for."

Lance still cannot look at the gorgeous boy beside him. He's overwhelmed by JC's kindness. "How can you be so nice about this? You could be with anyone right now."

JC reaches over and takes Lance's hand in both of his. "I'm exactly where I want to be. Well," he grins "maybe not exactly. This couch leaves something to be desired. But not the company, Lance. That's just about perfect."

Lance stares at his hands and his face finally breaks into a smile; he chuckles at JC's joke. He blushes yet again and finally meets JC's blue eyes with his own bright green ones. "I can't believe this is happening." Then, he closes his eyes and leans in for another kiss. This time, the kiss is full of emotion.

JC pulls Lance closer again, but instead of just wrapping him in his arms, he lifts him, so Lance ends up straddling his legs. Their hips press together again, and it's even more delicious than when Lance was lying on top of him.

Lance laughs into the kiss and wraps his arms around JC. He savors the freedom the older boy allows him and finds his hands roaming JC's back, exploring his muscles through his tight, black t- shirt. He shifts slightly to get more comfortable and begins to rub his crotch against JC's.

JC moans in pleasure. His mouth moves over Lance's soft cheek to his ear, "You sure you haven't done this before?" he says, voice rough with passion. "Cause you're doing it really, really well." He doesn't have to look to see Lance's blush--he can feel the heat in the boy's face against his lips.

Lance kisses more intently this time, taking JC's praise as encouragement to go further. He gently urges JC back down, so that he is straddling the older boy. He's amazed at his newly awakened assertiveness. He feels like he's just been given a new toy and doesn't know where to begin. Part of him still believes that at any moment JC will put a stop to this, but until then Lance intends to make the most of it. He just hopes he doesn't disappoint his more experienced partner. What if he's kissing him all wrong? What if he touches him the wrong way? So he decides to take it slow. He remembers how JC responded when he kissed his neck, so he kisses his cheeks and runs his tongue along his chin, and then moves lower to his throat. At the same time, he brings his hand up to JC's chest, and trails his fingers lightly along the soft fabric of his shirt.

JC moans again, wondering if Lance has ANY idea what he's doing to him. It's taking all his control to remain relatively passive and let Lance set the pace. His hands have been resting on Lance's hips to steady him, but now he lets his fingers slide under the fabric of Lance's t-shirt. He knows from experience how ticklish this flesh can be, but that's not a game he wants to play today. In fact, it's almost painful to him to recollect how many times he's touched Lance playfully or watched him be touched by the other guys. He wonders if Lance ever had any idea how much he wished those touches had been--real. But it's real now, and he lets his hands slip farther under the thin t-shirt, caressing the soft skin, the smoothly muscular planes.

When he first feels the warm fingers against his skin, Lance flinches. But he soon relaxes into the touch and his breathing becomes rapid. "Josh," he whispers into JC's shoulder. He's been touched before, but not like this. Before, it had been friends kidding around. Now, this felt so . . . real. He presses his palms against JC's chest, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

JC's hands climb higher, caressing Lance's chest lightly. His fingers brush almost fleetingly over Lance's nipples, then return for a longer, firmer touch, still gentle. He can hear in Lance's sudden intake of breath that he likes what's being done to him, and JC wants to keep pleasing him. "Let me take this off you" he whispers, tugging at the t-shirt.

Lance looks down at the probing hands momentarily and then nods. He lifts his arms so that JC can remove the shirt and suddenly feels exposed. It's not like he's never been shirtless in front of his friends, but this time it's different. This time he knows JC is looking at him and he hopes that he likes what he sees. Lance's skin is pale but healthy, a sprinkle of freckles across his shoulders. He leans in for another kiss, hoping to distract JC from looking at his bare chest.

JC reads the expressions that pass over Lance's face, and his hands catch Lance's arms and hold Lance away from him. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he murmurs appreciatively and is rewarded with another of Lance's delicious blushes.

Lance looks down. "No, I'm not. I'm too short. And I don't even have muscles like Justin or like . . . you." At that, Lance runs his hands along JC's arms, feeling the tight biceps and the strong forearms. He is always amazed at how lean JC is, yet how strong and toned he remains. Once again, Lance suddenly feels naked and a chill runs through him. He suddenly feels inadequate.

Again, JC watches Lance's face. He hasn't yet learned to dissemble, and every thought is apparent in his clear green eyes. And this is something that has always gotten to JC--Lance's insecurity. He has no idea how special he is and only sees his own inadequacies. For the third? fourth? time this afternoon, JC takes Lance's chin in his hand and forces the boy to look into his eyes. "I'm a better judge of this than you are, and I tell you, you're beautiful. You're just going to have to trust me. Do you trust me, Lance?"

Trust. That was a good question. It wasn't JC Lance didn't trust. Lance trusted JC like an older brother. It was he himself that Lance didn't trust. He'd always been a good boy, always done the right thing. Always been polite, honest, and trustworthy. But now, with this opportunity right in front of him, Lance didn't trust himself to hold anything back.

No, he didn't take compliments well. He'd never had any reason to be insecure, but still--he was on the verge of adulthood and he was surrounded by beauty. JC, with his fit, trim body and killer voice, and his friendly, warm face with its handsome features. Lance felt small and childlike in comparison.

Finally, he answered JC's question. "Yeah, Josh. I do." He takes JC's hand from his face and holds it, then brings the fingertips to his lips. He softly kisses JC's index finger, then slides his tongue around it, taking it into his mouth.

JC groans. Was the boy trying to kill him? For someone without much experience, Lance seemed to have an intuitive, an innate sensuality. Not that JC was complaining. Not really. Lance was just making it very difficult to hold back. To think. To breathe. He had closed his eyes, but now he opens them again, meeting Lance's eyes. It's almost too much, that jade gaze, usually so cool, but now heated and smoky, combined with the sensation of his own finger trapped by those soft, full lips, those gently nipping teeth, that hot, swirling tongue. With his free hand, JC caresses Lance's smooth chest and stomach. Finally, JC frees his finger, and uses the wet digit to rub at one pale nipple, causing Lance to sigh and let his head drop back. JC watches Lance as his fingers tease the nipple to a tight, tiny bud, then he pulls the boy to him and replaces his finger with his lips.

Lance gasps at the sensation of JC's lips on his skin--those lips that produce the most beautiful, sensual sounds now pressed against his flesh. "Oh, Josh," he moans. He concentrates on the sensation of JC's smooth tongue on his sensitive nipples. He's never been kissed this way before and he cannot believe how good it feels. He caresses JC's head, running his fingers through the soft, dark strands of hair and breathing heavily. He cannot believe how lucky he is, to be here with the boy he's longed for. Lance writhes against the older boy, feeling his body heat through his shirt. He begins to claw at the shirt, wanting to feel JC's skin against his own.

JC doesn't want to let go, not for a moment. Lance just tastes so good and FEELS so good. The sound of Lance's breathing is so arousing, and JC can hear and feel Lance's heart pounding, which is practically enough to send him over the edge in and of itself. Add to that Lance's hunger--he may be tentative, he may be unsure, but there's no denying his avidity--and JC wonders if he'll ever have a rational thought again.

Finally, regretfully, JC releases Lance’s nipple with one last kiss. He pushes Lance's questing hands away, and quickly pulls his own shirt off, tossing it aside. He pulls Lance to him almost roughly, but the gesture turns almost immediately to one of tenderness as he cradles the boy against his chest, skin to skin, heat pulsing between them. "Lance," he manages, his voice somewhere between a whisper and a groan.

Lance sighs against his lover's cheek and smiles. He places soft kisses along JC’s jawline, down his neck, and along the smooth, tanned skin of his chest. Following JC's lead he runs his tongue down to first one nipple, which he circles gently, finally taking it between his teeth and nibbling lightly, then on to the other. He only hopes JC is enjoying this as much as he is.

The sensation of Lance's mouth against his nipples is like nothing JC has ever felt. Sure, he's had this done to him before, but this is Lance. HIS Lance. The very thought makes him smile. He’s stroking the soft blond hair back from the boy's face, and his other hand runs up and down Lance's back. He feels--blessed. That surprises him--it's not a concept he usually thinks in terms of. But that's how he feels.

Lance's ministrations on JC's chest increase the tightness in his groin. He hears the sounds coming from JC's throat as he works his tongue across the muscular chest under him. He still can't understand why JC would want to be with him, but he's ecstatic he does. Lance doesn't want to seem too eager though; he's afraid if JC senses how much Lance wants to be with him he would get spooked and would keep Lance at arm's length. So Lance tries to contain his excitement as best he can. He raises his hips enough so they are no longer touching JC's, hoping his lover hasn't noticed the bulge forming there.

JC is just a little confused. Lance is still licking and kissing his chest with obvious enjoyment, yet he's pulling away at the same time. He's pulled his hips up and back so far that he's in danger of falling off JC's lap entirely. JC runs one arm firmly around the boy's waist, and with the other hand raises Lance's head from his chest. "Lance? Baby? Is something wrong? Do you want to stop?"

Lance, panting, sees the confusion in JC's face. Should he tell him? "No," he stammers. "Gosh, no." He once again feels embarrassed at his predicament. His hands are on JC's chest, and he runs his fingertips lightly along his skin. "I don't want to stop. No, I, um, I . . . "

JC tries to concentrate while Lance's fingers send shivers all over his body. His hand moves from Lance's chin to cup his cheek caressingly. "Talk to me, baby. You can tell me anything."

Lance rolls his eyes in frustration. He's torn between getting up and running out--if he leaves now he'll save himself the embarrassment of having to deal with this situation and maybe JC will just forget it ever happened. But he doesn't want to leave. He knows he can't. He has never felt the way he feels now about anyone else. He looks down at JC's lap, at himself, then stares into the concerned eyes of his older friend. He swallows. "I just . . . I feel so much, you know? I've never felt this way about anyone before. I mean, I've dated girls and I've kissed them, but now I feel . . . it's more." He shifts in JC's lap, timidly. He touches JC's face, the smooth planes, the strong jaw. Once again, his hands stray down to JC's chest, and his now hard nipples.

JC reaches with both hands to still Lance's nervous fingers. "I know, Lance. I feel the same way. This feels like--well-- it feels like the real thing. And I'm not gonna treat it like some FLING." He spits the word out contemptuously. "I told you before, I don't want to do anything you're not ready for. I care about you, Lance, and I want your first time to be perfect. And if that means waiting till you're ready, that's what we'll do."

Lance considers JC's words carefully. He's stunned by his generosity. He wants to believe that JC would never do anything to hurt him emotionally, but the intensity of his feelings for his more experienced friend still scare him. JC's touch is so soothing, though. He looks intently into JC's eyes. "No. I don't want to wait. I want to do this. With you. Now." He frees himself from JC's hands and wraps his arms around him and kisses him with all the passion he can muster. He pulls his friend tightly to himself and presses his body against JC, finally allowing him to feel the effect the older boy has on him.

In spite of his words, which he really did mean and would have lived up to if he'd needed to, JC is deeply relieved at Lance's answer. He wants this too--so badly. And of course the fact that the answer came in THAT voice, made even deeper by desire, enflames him even more. Wrapping his arms tightly around Lance, he allows the boy to explore his mouth a bit longer, still determined to let Lance set the pace, before moving from recipient to participant. Lance's kisses are so hot and sweet, and the pressure of his hips against JC's own is almost unbearable. JC slides his hands down Lance's back over his buttocks and under his thighs, lifting him up. Never breaking their kiss, he lowers them both until they are once again lying down on the couch, this time with Lance pinned beneath him.

Feeling the weight of JC on top of him, Lance is a bit nervous but soon begins to relax when he sees the expression on JC's face. It's desire and concern mixed together, and this makes Lance want him even more. Knowing this is not just some meaningless act to JC makes Lance want to cry. Instead, he pulls JC down to him and wraps his arms and legs around him in a tight embrace. His hands travel up and down JC's back, and he covers his new lover's mouth with his own. His hands travel lower, to JC's backside, and he squeezes the tight muscles through JC's jeans.

JC groans into his lover's mouth. For someone who's never done this before, Lance sure seems to have a sense of what to do to make him crazy. JC lets his mouth drift down over Lance's jaw and to his throat, where he can feel Lance's pulse pounding. He shifts his weight and allows his hand to flow down Lance's body, exploring once again the smooth chest and the flat stomach. He allows his fingers to almost imperceptibly brush over Lance's erection. Even this tiny fluttering touch causes a shudder to run through the boy in JC's arms.

There's a sharp intake of breath as JC's fingers touch the tight bulge in Lance's crotch. He tries to pull away, but JC has him comfortably pinned beneath him. So he succumbs to the probing hands and only hopes he can hold on long enough not to embarrass himself. He's waited so long for this touch, he tells himself he can wait a little longer. Instead, Lance pushes his concentration to his lover, his mentor, his friend, and once again squeezes the tight butt in his hands. He lets his hands fall as far down JC's thighs as they will go and then back up again, over the curve of his ass to his lower back. JC's mouth on his neck, that oh- so-sensitive adam's apple, makes him writhe under the weight of the older boy.

Encouraged by Lance's boldness, JC again lets his hand stray below his lover's waist, tracing the hard shape through Lance's jeans. Even through the thick fabric, he can feel the heat, and the boy's moan of pleasure makes him feel amazing. He twitches the button out and his fingers seek the zipper, but he feels Lance freeze. He raises his head to look down into the flushed face. "Okay?" he whispers.

Lance is panting now, and beads of sweat are forming on his brow. He doesn't trust himself to speak, so after a moment, he nods. His jeans have become uncomfortably tight and he just wants to be free. But at the same time, he suddenly feels very vulnerable.

JC watches Lance's face as he struggles to give an answer. He's so transparent; his eyes hide nothing. All the desire is right there and so is all the vulnerability. And that makes JC feel incredibly protective. Even as his fingers return to the zipper pull, his lips move to Lance's ear. "Remember--we can stop any time you want. It won't really be stopping. More like intermission." Before Lance can protest this statement, JC has lowered the zipper and reaches in to massage Lance through the thin fabric of his boxer-briefs.

A small whimper escapes Lance's lips as JC's hand presses against Lance's hardness. Even through the fabric of his shorts, Lance can feel the heat in the palm touching him. His feelings for JC intensify as he hears the words whispered in his ear. The hot breath on his neck washes away any doubts he may have had. He whispers back, "No, Josh, no. I want to. I really want to. I want . . . you." If he's going to get close to JC, really close, he's going to have to trust him completely. He grips JC's back tightly, trying not to dig his fingers into the tender flesh but needing to find some purchase while JC's hand caresses his sensitive organ.

JC rolls over Lance and moves to the end of the couch. He carefully removes Lance's sneakers and socks, then tugs down the tight jeans and removes them. JC puts his hands on either side of Lance's legs and crawls his way up Lance's body, dropping small light kisses everywhere, until he reaches and claims Lance's lips.

Lance smiles at the almost nurturing way JC has removed his clothing. He gives himself over to the sensation of JC's full lips on his skin, and a chill runs through him when JC's lips press against his own. He runs his hands up the strong arms on either side of him and grinds his hips against JC's. His hands soon trail down JC's chest, pausing to fondle his nipples once more.

JC shifts himself so he is lying on his side against the back of the couch, which is just deep enough to accommodate both of them. In this position, his hand is free to roam over his lover's body and it does, slowly making its way down to the bulge in Lance's boxer- briefs. As he plays with the waistband of the shorts, slipping his fingers playfully beneath, JC bends forward to take one of Lance's nipples into his mouth.

In this position, with JC's mouth on his chest, Lance doesn't have much freedom to move, so he allows JC to do what he will. And he cannot believe how good it feels. He anticipates those magical fingers on his most sensitive part, and when they slide inside his shorts Lance arches his back, but he's held down by lover's strong hand. He reaches out instead to caress JC's sleek, dark hair.

JC slips his hands deeper into Lance's shorts and takes his erection into his hand. At first he just holds it, letting Lance get used to the feeling, but soon he can't resist stroking it. The shorts are really an impediment and he pulls them down, and is surprised when Lance bends his knees to help remove them. He looks up at the boy's face then and sees a shy smile there that melts his heart.

Lance blushes at his now complete exposure. This isn't the first time JC has seen him naked, but it's the first time he's seen him in this state. He almost wants to cover himself, but he reaches for JC's hands instead. He's surprised when JC just sits there, looking at him.

"God, Lance. You're just so beautiful," JC says quietly. He pulls Lance to him, and, parting his lips gently, kissing him deeply. His hands slide all over the soft skin once again, and he smiles into the kiss, thinking again how blessed he feels. And then JC almost passes out from shock when he feels Lance's tentative hand exploring the front of his jeans.

Lance sees the surprise in JC's face when he breaks their kiss and smiles shyly as his hand toys with the button on JC's jeans. He struggles for a minute, laughing nervously at his ineptness, but he finally manages to conquer the stubborn device. Without looking at JC's face, he slowly lowers the zipper, licking his lips in anticipation. He sees the enormous bulge beneath JC's shorts and smiles. Did he really do this to his friend?

JC can see Lance's expression even though he isn't looking up. It's a complicated mix of desire, anticipation, wariness, curiosity. It makes JC want to kiss the boy until he's breathless, which he proceeds to do.

Lance's activities are interrupted by JC's kiss. He almost pushes him away in his eagerness to explore his lover's body, but he allows JC's kiss to last several minutes. He gets lost in those lips, in the emotions they convey. He so wants to please his friend, to show him that he's not just some horny kid. He brings his hands back to JC's groin and this time he slides one hand inside the waistband of his shorts, running his fingertips along the long, hard shaft.

JC breaks the kiss and lets his head fall back. He has never felt so aroused in his life. The feeling of those long, cool fingers surrounding his heat is just indescribable. He has to get out of his pants like NOW, has to feel his lover's skin against his. He reaches out and gently moves Lance away, murmuring "Here, let me . . . " when he sees the momentary confusion cloud Lance's face. He swiftly discards his remaining clothing, then gathers Lance close once again.

Lance is slightly disappointed at JC's rapid discard of clothing; he wanted to be the one to undress JC the way he had Lance. But his disappointment is quickly forgotten as JC's arms engulf him and his lips find his own. This time, Lance is free to explore with both hands and no barriers. He takes JC's erection firmly in his hands, and then loosens his grip when he realizes he might be hurting the older boy in his eagerness to please. He begins to rub the length of the shaft while kissing JC's lips, his ear, his neck, his shoulder.

JC is surprised and pleased by Lance's passion. He had expected the boy to be more tentative and finds his boldness delicious. JC reaches for Lance's erection and strokes it, matching the rhythm Lance is using on his own. He whispers Lance's name again and again, loving the sound of it on his lips.

Lance is momentarily distracted by JC's hands on his own erection, but he returns his attentions back to his lover. He reluctantly pulls away from the older boy's grip so that he can ease him down to the sofa. He begins to plant kisses down the length of his body, and when he's past JC's navel he runs his tongue down the trail of tiny hairs leading to his groin. Lance has never in his life dreamed he'd be doing this and isn't even sure he knows what he's doing, but he soon finds his tongue replacing his hand.

If JC was shocked to feel Lance's hand on his erection a bit earlier, there are no words to describe the feeling of having Lance's mouth there. He groans happily, letting his hand settle into the soft, blond hair, not demandingly, but caressingly.

Lance has always been curious about what it would be like to do this--what it would feel like, what it would taste like. He breathes in JC's musky scent and gingerly licks the tip of his cock. The sounds coming from JC encourage him to try more, so he lets his tongue slide from the tip to the base and around his balls, and back up again. Feeling especially bold, Lance takes the erection in his mouth.

"Oh, Lance. That feels AMAZING." JC is surprised he can even form a coherent thought, never mind voice it. He senses that Lance doesn't quite know how to proceed now that he's started. "Let me show you," he murmurs. JC carefully shifts his position so he's facing Lance's tantalizing erection as well and takes him into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the tip, and Lance immediately understands what JC is doing, and does the same. When JC reaches to cup Lance's balls, Lance's long fingers wrap around his own.

The sensation of JC's mouth on his erection is almost more than Lance can bear. He struggles to pull away, for fear of coming too soon. He releases JC and murmurs, "No, stop, I . . . I . . .," and he crawls away so that he is once again facing JC. His breathing is ragged. "I'm sorry," he pants.

"No, no, don't be sorry, baby." JC gathers the trembling boy into his arms. He smiles down at Lance. "I wanted to be able to see your face and hold you in my arms the first time you come with me, anyway." He watches the blush spread over Lance's already flushed face, and he has to kiss him then, dropping kisses on both flaming cheeks before finding Lance’s avid mouth.

It's as though JC can read his mind, and that makes Lance want him even more. With this kiss, he can taste himself, he can taste JC, and it's almost as though they are one person. He feels his heartbeat against his lover's chest and this brings on a new wave of arousal. He pulls away reluctantly. "How can you be so understanding? You should just get up and leave." His eyes are glistening now, and he struggles to hold back the tears.

JC hugs Lance tightly. "Why would I want to do that?" he says softly, into the boy's hair. As he feels Lance's trembling subside, JC pulls back just enough to look into Lance's teary eyes. "Lance, for some reason you seem to think this is one-sided. It isn't. I've wanted you since the day we met. And you don't just get up and walk away from your heart's desire."

Lance is stunned by JC's words. Since the day they met? That day, Lance had walked into the rehearsal room trying to act calm but was so intimidated by this handsome, talented, experienced boy. He could barely look at him. Even now, he found it hard to look at him. JC seemed to see right through him. "Wow, Josh, I can't believe you feel that way, because that's how I feel." He's still struggling against the tears and manages to choke back the sob that's forming in his throat. He begins to kiss JC's neck then, while still clutching him tightly.

JC can feel tears in his own eyes. Desire he had expected, lust. Love even. But he had not been prepared for this profound tenderness that he feels. Nothing in his life had prepared him for this.

Lance begins to relax once again, as he feels how tenderly JC holds him. He wants to assure his friend that he's ready for this, that he wants this, so he strokes his back gently, caressing the muscles slowly, instead of with the urgency he felt only moments earlier. He smiles then and presses his lips against JC's to show him what he means to him. He lets his hands roam JC's chest once again, and then lower, to his tight abs, and even lower, to that special spot.

Every time JC thinks he couldn't be more aroused he's proved wrong. Lance's hands leave trails of fire over his skin. "Lance," he whispers. "Lance, I want you so much. I want you to make love to me."

Lance's eyes gleam when he hears JC's voice say those words. But once again, he looks away shyly. "I don't know how," he whispers.

JC, for once, looks equally shy. "I've got one more confession for you. Okay, I've been with girls--not in a long time, but I have. And I've fooled around with guys, but nothing more than what we've already done. I meant what I said earlier about figuring this out together. And Lance? I'm really glad it's you . . . "

The shock Lance experienced earlier at JC's tender words cannot be matched by what he feels now. Where before he felt embarrassed and insecure, he now feels something else. Something more akin to . . . what--allegiance? No, something more. He feels like the playing field has been leveled for him. When he came into the group he felt like an outsider, no matter how much the other guys included him in everything they did. He was the new kid. He was the replacement. But now, hearing JC's words, he finally feels that he belongs someplace. He belongs with JC. "Wow," is all he can muster. "Wow, I never knew. I always thought . . . you always seemed so . . . with it. In control. Josh, I am just so glad my first time is with you. And I hope you feel the same way. Because this means more to me than anything else."

He pulls JC to him then, and plunges his tongue inside his . . . PARTNER, yes partner's mouth. He holds JC's face between his hands and caresses his cheeks. He doesn't want to let go.

And JC doesn't want to BE let go. He has never felt closer to anyone that he does to Lance right now, and he's sure that whatever happens now will only bring them closer. As their tongues intertwine and plunge, their hands are everywhere, teasing one another to such heights of desire that JC feels like he's going to explode if something more doesn't happen soon. JC finally breaks the kiss and pulls back from Lance, sitting up and glancing around the room. He kisses his boy quickly and whispers, "Stay RIGHT there." He goes to the make-up table and rummages around then gives up and goes over to where their various duffle bags lie. Locating Joey's bag, he slips a hand into one of the outer pockets and comes out with a handful of condoms. He smirks. Joey's so predictable. And fortunately so prepared. He reaches in again and finds some K-Y. He returns to the couch, placing his plunder on the floor beside it, then gathering Lance into his arms one more.

Lance, despite his nervousness, is amused at the flurry of activity that has taken place. JC is normally very hyper, but now there's a sense of urgency to accompany his usual energy. When he sees what JC has been looking for he laughs. Yes, they can always count on Joey to be the boy scout. But then the seriousness of what they are about to do hits him all at once. His first time. With JC. With the one he cares about most. What if he's a bad lover? What if he does it all wrong? He's never had complaints about his kissing before, but this is different. When JC returns to the couch, he tentatively kisses him, and then he begins to stroke him once again, this time much more slowly. He wants to make this last as long as possible, because he knows there will never be a moment like this again. Sure, he hopes that there will be many more pleasurable moments with JC, but there will never be another first.

JC feels the slight tension in Lance and lowers his mouth to Lance's neck, licking at the adams's apple. When Lance laughs and relaxes, JC feels inordinately proud of himself that he has already learned this about his boy. Having been friends for so long, he already knows so much about Lance--things that make him laugh, things that make him go quiet and thoughtful. And now, he looks forward to learning the more intimate details. Exactly what spots, what touches, will please Lance. Like right now, when JC runs feather-light fingers over Lance's hardness and Lance sighs deeply, his hot breath enflaming JC more. JC lets himself sink back onto the couch once more, pulling Lance with him, until Lance is covering him completely and every inch of skin that can be touching is touching.

Lance is so grateful to JC that he's giving him the freedom to learn what he needs to learn in his own way. He's never liked having people do things for him, something his mother found frustrating when he was a child, but now he cherishes the fact that JC, being older, is willing to let Lance take charge when he feels like it. Of course, that doesn't mean he knows what he's doing or that he doesn't want JC to guide him. He watches closely for JC's reaction to everything he does. He studies him as intently as he studies their tour schedule or their itineraries. When he hears JC moan at a particular touch he makes a mental note and returns to that spot again. Now, he is straddling the long, lean body beneath him and he sits up to study his face. He traces each curve of JC's face with his fingers, and when they reach his mouth he gently touches those soft, beautiful lips.

JC kisses Lance's fingertips, then opens his lips to take the fingers into his mouth. Looking up into Lance's beautiful pale jade eyes, he very deliberately starts using the exact movements he'd used on Lance's erection earlier. With one hand, JC reaches down and grasps that erection, his hand imitating what his mouth is doing. All the while, he stares into those eyes, watching them darken with desire, narrow in concentration. He lets his own eyes, usually carefully guarded, show all that he is feeling, willing Lance to understand his unspoken declaration.

Lance is amazed at JC's power to create such sensations within him. He always felt JC was a leader, but now he's allowing Lance to take the stage. His fingers tingle inside JC's warm, wet mouth, the mouth full of desire and passion. He grips JC's shoulder with his other hand and moves in time to the rhythm of his lover's stroking hand. "Josh, that feels so good," he moans. Finally, he replaces his fingers with his mouth and reaches down to stroke JC's waiting erection.

When Lance's warm, wet fingers surround him, it's all JC can do not to come right then and there. He holds his breath for a moment, getting control of himself. He's not sure how much more he can take, but he's sure willing to find out. Breaking their kiss, JC whispers, "I want you, Lance. I want you, now."

Lance swallows at the words, the hot breath on his face, the intense blue eyes staring at him. He merely nods, because words escape him. The moment of truth. He lets his eyes stray to the objects on the floor next to them.

"Here," JC says hoarsely. He reaches for the K-Y and opens the lid. He takes one of Lance's hands in his and squeezes some gel onto the palm. He's surprised how much his hands are shaking. "We'll start with this." He pulls Lance to him again, letting his own legs part and guiding Lance's gel- covered hand downward.

Lance smiles as he realizes what he's about to do. "Um," he whispers timidly, "if I, um, hurt you in ANY way, Josh, you have to let me know. Because hurting you is the last thing I want to do." He places a tender kiss on his lover's lips and runs his hand down, between JC's legs and to that sensitive spot beneath his scrotum, between the strong muscular cheeks of his backside. He tenderly touches one finger to the opening and watches JC's face for a response.

All JC's sensations seem to have spiraled down to that one spot. He wants this; he is ready for this. "Please, Lance," he whispers, and lets out a sigh when he feels himself being gently penetrated.

JC's voice is all Lance needs to proceed. His brow furrows with concern as he gently inserts one finger, thrusting gently. The gel allows his finger to slide in easily, but he doesn't want to push too far for fear of hurting JC. He leans in close to his lover's ear and whispers, "Tell me if you want me to stop."

"Lance," he whispers, seeking the boy's lips with his own. "Don't even think about stopping."

Feeling particularly bold, Lance slides another finger in to join the other. He feels JC momentarily stiffen but then relax as Lance slides the fingers in and out rhythmically. He pulls himself up a bit so that his other hand can encircle JC's engorged erection.

JC looks up at Lance with lust-hazed eyes. "So good, Lance, so good," he murmurs. He slides his own hand over Lance's hardness, then fumbles on the floor for one of the condoms. With shaking hands, he manages to open the slippery foil packet and roll it onto his lover's stiff member. He locates the K-Y and spreads a thin layer of it on top of the condom, making the practical act a caress.

Lance squeezes his eyes shut at the sensation of JC's hands on his sensitive organ once again. He'd seen enough films in health class to know what this was all about, but he never imagined what it would FEEL like. He gently removes his fingers, then searches his lover's eyes for any doubts. Taking JC's thighs in his hands, he slides him lower on the couch and leans in for one more long, lingering kiss.

JC has to remind himself to breathe. He's never felt anticipation like this and it's almost making him lightheaded. When he feels the press of Lance's organ against his opening, he wills himself to relax. He wants this so much, but he's at least a little scared, and he knows Lance is, too. And the last thing he wants to do is react in any way that will make Lance want to stop. For the first time since this started, he almost wishes for the cover of darkness.

Lance reaches under JC's left thigh with one arm to raise it, allowing him better access. His other hand is on the couch, and his arm holds all of his weight. He takes a deep breath and looks to JC for affirmation. Very gently, he presses into JC, watching for any sign that his friend is in pain. When he feels the tightness inside JC, he almost cries out. It's the most intense pleasure he's ever experience. "Oh my gosh," he moans.

JC is very still. It hurts, but not as much as he'd feared it might. He takes a deep breath and relaxes his clenched muscles. He finally looks up into Lance's concerned eyes. "More."

Lance sees JC wince when he first penetrates, and he's almost going to pull out, but then he sees that JC wants to keep going. Still, even though it's extremely pleasurable for him, he sees the pain in JC's face. He leans down and kisses the sweaty cheek below him and then murmurs in JC's ear, "We can stop. I don't want to hurt you."

_Oh, God, he's just so sweet, JC thinks. He thrusts his hips upward, taking more of Lance into him. Yeah, it hurts, but less than he'd feared. And the pleasure definitely outweighs the pain. He feels Lance's concerned eyes on him, and whispers back "It's okay; I'm okay. Keep going."

Lance holds JC close to him with his free hand and thrusts upward. Not all the way, but close. He grunts at the sensation, all of JC's warmth surrounding him, and he places soft kisses on his cheeks. Slowly, he begins to thrust in and out, listening for any sound, any word that JC might say to make him stop. But he honestly doesn't want to stop, because he relishes every minute of this ultimate closeness he is sharing with this incredible boy.

JC has completely forgotten that there was any pain involved in this. He pulls Lance closer, increasing the sensation in his own erection, and rocks his hips in time with Lance's, meeting every thrust. He kisses Lance's cheek, then pushes him back a little so he can see his face. Lance's eyes are huge and luminous. His expression is almost pure pleasure--almost, because it is still tempered with concern for JC. Without thinking, JC murmurs "I love you, Lance."

Lance thrusts hard, startled at JC's sudden, unexpected declaration. He nearly comes then, nearly. But he is frozen. "What? What did you say?" At the expression of fear that suddenly crosses JC's face, Lance quickly adds, "Oh my gosh, J, oh my gosh, I love you too. I didn't want to say it. I was so afraid you'd . . . you'd hate me. Oh, Josh," he almost cries out. The intensity of his emotions and the physical pleasure he is experiencing are almost too much.

"Hate you?" JC growls, pulling Lance closer again. "Hate you?" They've begun thrusting against each other again, and JC kisses Lance all over his face and throat. "Does this feel like I hate you?"

"No, gosh, no! Oh my gosh, this feels amazing, Josh. YOU feel amazing." Lance reaches down to stroke JC's erection, which he realizes he's been neglecting in his selfish desire for pleasure. He strokes in time to his own thrusting. The friction caused by JC's virginal state almost brings Lance to the brink, but he wants to come with JC.

The combination of Lance's thrusting and his stroking pushes JC closer and closer to the edge. But in the end, it's Lance's hot sigh of "Josh, oh, Josh" right into his ear that pushes him over. He's coming, and it's the sweetest, most powerful sensation he’s even experienced. He calls Lance's name again and again.

Lance finally thrusts deep and hard, and he can tell from JC's panting that he's about to climax. Sweat pours from his brow and his back is slick, and he cries out JC's name as one last thrust releases his orgasm. At the same time, JC's orgasm is released in his hand. Lance feels as though he is going to pass out. So intense was that one moment that he can't see clearly for several minutes.

JC cradles Lance to him as he listens to two heartbeats slowing to normal. He drops a desultory kiss on the top of the boy's head and whispers his name and other endearments.

Lance holds JC tightly, his eyes closed, until he feels himself slip out. He's suddenly aware of the stickiness on his skin and on JC's and he smiles. He never counted on it being so . . . messy. "Mmmm," he purrs. Finally, he reaches down and slides off the crumpled condom. He tosses it aside and curls up against JC. "Are you okay?" he asks, genuinely concerned.

JC smiles and strokes Lance's hair back from his face."I am SO much more than okay. Of course, it's possible my dancing's gonna suck tonight, but that's a small price to pay." He grins down at Lance's upturned face, then turns serious. "I love you, Lance," he says very quietly and very solemnly, the words more powerful said so calmly than they were in the heat of passion.

Lance kisses JC tenderly. "I love you too. I can't believe this is happening, but I do. I love you." He laughs. "Boy, it's gonna be an interesting show tonight. And maybe after we can . . . hang out together? But JC, just one thing: Next time someone asks about Giddy Up--YOU answer."

Part II

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