Before Your Eyes

by Karen and LB
© 2002

Lance can pinpoint the exact moment he developed a crush on his bandmate. It was during the Angel Ball, more than a year ago, when they were sent to New York together and wore tuxedos. JC just looked so darned handsome; Lance realized then and there that he was falling for him. But it started even before then--since he collapsed after the Summer Jams show, when JC sat by his bedside and brought him magazines. When they filed the lawsuit and their careers were on the line, and they'd stay up late talking about it. When they started touring again, and would explore new restaurants in each city they visited. It was inevitable Lance would fall for JC. The question is, what is he going to do about it now?

As good fortune would have it, Lance doesn't have to figure that out. As he pulls into the parking lot of Johnny's compound for another group meeting, Lance spots JC crouched by the side of his car, the flat tire evident even from where he's driving. He pulls alongside JC and parks. "Need a hand?"

"Moonlighting for AAA?"

"Don't give up your day job." Lance moves to the back of his truck and pulls out his jack. "Let me help you."

"Thanks," JC says, pushing his hair off his face with a dirty hand. His shirt is already sticking uncomfortably to his chest and back.

"You're gonna get filthy. Let me do it." He moves in place and soon has the car raised a few inches off the ground and is working the lug nuts off. "Where did it happen?"

"Just over there along the drive," JC points. "I went over and looked, but I couldn't find anything on the ground."

"Could've been anything. At least it happened here."

"Yeah. Thanks. Really. I can't believe my car doesn't have a jack."

"Maybe you should get one after the meeting."

"I have a feeling I have Tyler to thank. He used the car when I was away, and he's always messing with stuff."

"See what you get for being so nice? Doesn't he have his own car?"

"Mine's bigger. For when he's carting around all his friends."

Lance has the flat off and is rolling it to the side, and he heaves the spare out of JC's trunk. "At least he didn't take this."

JC lifts the flat tire into the trunk. "Gee, wasn't that nice of him?"

"If you didn't have one, I could always give you a ride home."

"Thanks. I wouldn't want to make you go out of your way, though."

"It wouldn't be. But I still think you should get a new jack when we're done. You shouldn't drive around without one."

"I noticed."

"So you want to hit Target after?"

"I should probably see if mine's in my garage first, right? Though I guess it wouldn't hurt to have two."

Disappointed but knowing he shouldn't press it, Lance wipes his hands on his track pants and stands. "Yeah, you probably have one at home."

"Probably. But that's no reason to let a perfectly good excuse to go shopping go to waste."

Lance grins. "Now you're talking."

JC watches as Lance puts his jack and lug wrench back into his car. "Thanks. I owe you one."

"It was nothing."

"I still appreciate it. We better get in there."

They head inside for another long but productive meeting, and when they're done, Lance, feeling strangely shy all of a sudden, scratches the back of his head as he asks JC, "So, you still want to go shopping?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm not, like, too dirty?"

In a bold move, Lance brushes off some imaginary grime from JC's shirt. "You're fine. Everyone will think that's the way the shirt's supposed to be."

"Isn't the dirty look over?"

"It works on you."

"As soon as I figure out if that's a compliment or an insult, I'm SURE I'll have a snappy retort."

JC's lack of a comeback is just reassurance to Lance that JC knows how hot he looks in that dirty T-shirt. And the shirt only conjures more . . . dirty images. Yes, Lance thinks, the shirt looks just fine.

*****

Lance studies the small selection of jacks at Target. "How about this one?"

"I can't tell the difference between them. As long as it works, it's fine." JC grabs one randomly and tosses it in the cart. "Lets go look at CDs."

Amused by JC's cavalier attitude toward automotive-saving equipment, Lance shakes his head and follows JC to the music section, watching, intrigued, as JC flips through racks of CDs. JC's face literally glows when he finds something he's been looking for. Lance has known for years that music is to JC what jet-skiing is to Lance--it's his fun. Lance rests his chin on JC's shoulder. "Watcha find?"

All the guys have spent so much time in close quarters, on top of each other, that it doesn't even occur to JC to question Lance's head on his shoulder. "Eva Cassidy. You know, she did that Sting cover? I've been meaning to get this."

"Wow, she's really good." He takes the CD from JC's hand and flips it over to see the tracks.

"Yeah, really. Is there anything you wanted to look for? I kind of just dragged you over here."

"No, it's okay. I could use something for the bus. Any suggestions?"

"What are you listening to now?"

"Blink. Sugar Ray. But I'm open to anything."

"Stick out your hand and grab the first thing it lands on."

Lance reaches around JC and pulls out . . . "David Cassidy?"

JC laughs. "See? You have to buy it."

"It's fate, right?"

"And you can't argue with fate. Besides, it could be worse. You could have picked the Backstreet Boys."

"Aw, you have to admit--Millennium is a great album."

"I HAVE to? Okay, yeah. It's good." JC laughs and pulls Lance into the next aisle. "But not as good as this complete collection of the Partridge Family you have to buy."

"No way, dude! Isn't this enough?"

"Okay, then. I'll buy it."

"No no, I wouldn't dream of it. Let me buy it for you," Lance says with exaggeration, grabbing the CD from the bin.

"Aw, Lance. I didn't know you cared."

"Better you than some innocent shopper."

"Aw, now don't be like that."

"Are you making fun of me? Because if you are, I might have to throw in a Barney's Greatest Hits CD."

"I have that one already."

"Why do I believe that?"

"You just know me SO well."

I'd like to know you better. On the way to the checkout, they pass a shelf of hats, and Lance picks one up and puts it on JC's head.

"Didn't you tell me just last week that I had too many hats?"

"You do. But you didn't bring one this time, and it's too dangerous for you to be out in public looking like that."

"Looking like what? I'm a mess."

Lance thinks JC looks like a sexy beast right now, with his wild hair and dirty T-shirt. "Exactly. You know how chicks dig that."

"Uh huh. Name one."

"All those girls who read J-14."

JC makes a face at the mention of his ex's publication. "They don't even like my hair long."

"Are you on drugs? Have you heard the way they scream and carry on every time you step on stage with your hair all wild. And how many times do we hear someone thanking you for growing out your hair?"

JC gives Lance an odd look. "You seem to have given this a lot of thought."

"No, um, I just hear stuff. And . . . it does look good. Your hair."

"Thanks, dude." They manage to get through checkout without being recognized, but JC pulls the hat over his curls as they leave just the same. "So, um, thanks for shopping with me. Oh, and don't forget this." JC roots around in his bag for the David Cassidy CD.

"Right. It's my fate. I have to listen to it. So, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"I don't know. No plans."

"I was thinking of going horseback riding. You want to come?"

JC is a little surprised at the invitation, but not unwilling. "Yeah. Cool idea."

"Good. I'll pick you up at noon."

"Good deal." They've reached their cars, and JC pulls the jack out of its bag and puts it in the trunk. "Thanks again for helping me out today."

"It was my--you're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow." On the way home, Lance plays the David Cassidy CD and sings at the top of his lungs, "I woke up in love this morning . . . "

The next day, JC is ready uncharacteristically early, so he listens to more of his new CDs and discovers that Lance had, indeed, slipped a Barney CD into the pile. Laughing, he puts it in the player.

Lance goes for an early run, wanting to get his energy up and look good for JC. He chooses something casual but spends extra time on his hair, then carefully prepares a special picnic lunch with foods he knows JC likes. He's tempted to bring flowers, but he knows that would be pushing it. He double checks everything to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything, and with butterflies in his stomach he drives to JC's house.

JC has to pick himself off the floor to answer the door, because he'd fallen off the chair laughing at the Barney CD. He's still giggling when he admits Lance.

"What's so funny?"

JC grabs Lance's arm and drags him into the living room, where the music, if it can be called that, is still blaring from the speakers.

"The neighbors are gonna complain."

"Can you blame them? Dude, YOU did this to me."

Lance feigns disbelief. "I didn't do anything to you, dude. It must have fallen in your bag."

"Are you saying I stole it?"

"No, I'm saying it 'accidentally' fell in your bag," Lance says, rolling his hands as he talks.

"Yeah. An accident named Lance."

"Hey now, I was planned."

JC looks confused for a moment, then bursts out laughing again. He's laughing so hard, in fact, that all his attempts to turn off the stereo with the remote are ineffectual.

Lance stands back and watches. And falls in love all over again. JC's laughter is like sunshine--better than sunshine. When the music finally stops, Lance, still smiling, says, "We better get going before you break something."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm ready," JC says, then he's hit with a fresh fit of laughter. "Come on," and, still laughing, he leads the way out. "I hope you have some serious music going in your truck."

"Well, we're not bringing that CD." Lance wishes he could keep JC laughing all day.

"Maybe we should--and have the horses trample it."

"You know you love it." They're in the truck now for the short drive to the stables.

"Oh, yeah. Maybe we should cover one of the tunes."

"I love you, you love me . . . ," Lance sings, laughing at the same time.

"That's it! That's your solo number on the next album!"

"You HAVE been smoking something. Yeah, that'll shoot straight to number one. We can get the Neptunes to do the remix."

"And the video! You in a purple outfit!"

"We could use those fuzzy coats we wore at the Billboard awards."

"Oh, yeah. They'd be perfect. And we really didn't use those enough." And so the banter continues until they reach the stables. Lance unloads the thermal bags from the back of the truck and soon they're brought to two beautiful horses. Since Lance is an experienced rider, they're allowed to explore the grounds on their own. Lance has been here before, so he knows the perfect, quiet spot to take JC. JC hasn't ridden in a while and at first he needs to concentrate, so he doesn't say much. After a while, though, he starts to feel relaxed and can really look around him. "Wow. I'd forgotten how good this feels."

"When was the last time you rode? Since we did the video for 'For the Girl'?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's not, like, something I really think about doing, you know? But I'm glad you thought of it."

"When we're home, I mean, when I'm home, I like to do it. Sometimes Beth comes with me." But it's better with you.

"Are you gonna, like, have horses someday? Like, when we're not on tour all the time?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Maybe a few. Right now, we have so much going on I can't plan that far ahead."

"It's hard to imagine a time when things are really different."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, when we're not on tour every few months. Or when we can walk down the street without being chased."

"No, I can't imagine that. It would be nice if it would happen."

"Someday. Maybe."

"Does it really bother you? Having thousands of girls screaming, 'JC! JC!' " Lance tries to make his voice go as high as it can but it cracks.

"When it sounds like that, yes." JC laughs. "But you know, I mean, I guess I'd miss it in a way. I'm . . . I'm really not complaining. Just, you know . . . thinking."

"But you love performing, right? You love writing and singing."

"Yeah, I do. I love it. I don't know what I'm talking about ."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just, you know, thinking aloud."

They ride for a while, and then reach a clearing. The horses stop, and Lance dismounts. "Want to take a break?"

"Yeah." JC slides off his horse as well, wincing a little at the twinge of seldom used muscles. He looks around. "Pretty here."

Lance is busy spreading out the thin blanket he brought along and puts out the containers of foods. "Lunch is served."

"Wow! You didn't have to do all this."

"I wanted to."

JC settles on the blanket opposite Lance. "Wow," he says again, then adds teasingly. "I've got to hang out with you more often."

Now you're talking. "It's nothing, really. Just some sandwiches and salads."

"Well, it's great. Thank you."

"My pleasure. Here, there's fruit, too."

"So not only a picnic, but a healthy, well-balanced picnic."

"For you? Absolutely."

JC looks seriously at Lance. "You'd make the best boyfriend."

Lance almost drops his sandwich. "I'd like to be."

JC cocks his head. "You'll meet someone."

Lance's heart sinks. He thought he already had. "I think I already have."

"Really? That's great! Anyone I know?"

"I don't want to say anything yet. In case it doesn't work out."

"Oh, yeah." JC looks at Lance, sincerity shining from his eyes. "I really hope it does."

"Me too." Lance breaks eye contact, unable to look into those beautiful blue eyes any longer. His insecurity gnaws at him like the ant that's managed to steal a crumb from his sandwich, but he's not going to let it discourage him. No, he'll win JC's heart. He's sure of it.

They spend a relaxing time during the rest of their lunch, and JC even manages to sneak in a nap. It's late afternoon when they remount, and JC notices again the ache in his muscles. It's a good ache, though. It's been a good day.

Lance is sorry the afternoon has to end. He notices from the way JC is walking after they return the horses that he's stiff. "You want to come over for a while and sit in the hottub? You look a little stiff." Realizing how that must sound, Lance blushes.

JC doesn't even notice anything unusual. "Yeah? You have time? I mean, I've taken up most of your day."

"I have to make some phone calls, but I can do that later."

"I don't want to put you out."

"I can work while we soak. I can do some reading in the hottub."

"In that case, I'd love it." JC stretches, feeling the pull again.

Lance feels a sense of triumph that he's able to extend his time alone with JC. But his victory is spoiled somewhat when he arrives home to find Beth there. "What are you doing home?" he asks, as he and JC enter the house and Lance deposits the food containers in the kitchen. "I thought you were going home to see your family."

"My flight got cancelled so I decided to leave tomorrow. Hey, JC."

"Hey, Beth." JC leans over and kisses her on the cheek. "Oh, sorry. I must stink. Me and Lance went riding."

"You did? How fun. You can use the shower if you want."

"We're gonna sit in the hottub," Lance interjects.

"Ooo, can I join you?"

"Fine with me. Lance?"

"Yeah. Um, I'll get you a clean swimsuit." He swears silently to himself as he heads to his bedroom. He loves Beth dearly, but she wasn't supposed to be here.

"We had a great day riding," JC says, while they wait for Lance. "Lance even brought a picnic."

Beth raises her eyebrows. "That was nice of him."

"It sure was. He said you sometimes go with him."

"Yeah, but he never made me a picnic."

Lance returns, dressed in a swimsuit and t-shirt, carrying towels and a suit for JC. "Go ahead and change, and I'll get the hottub going."

"Thanks." JC slips into a downstairs bathroom and changes, then hurries out to join Lance and Beth.

"You didn't tell me it was a date!" Beth chides in a loud whisper.

"You weren't supposed to be here so I didn't think I had to tell you!" Lance whispers back. He stops when he sees JC approaching.

JC walks up, hitching up the swim trunks, which are a little too big for him and keep settling around his hips. "How's the water?" he asks, grinning.

"A little too hot to me," replies Beth. "You know what? I just remembered that I have to do that thing I promised you." She directs this statement to Lance.

"Oh yeahhhhh. Thanks. Let me know how it goes."

"I will." Facing away from JC as she climbs out of the hottub, she rolls her eyes and returns to the house.

Lance notices the swimsuit keeps creeping down JC's waist but doesn't say anything. He hopes it will accidentally slip off. "Come on in."

JC lowers himself into the water, groaning happily as the heat surrounds his sore muscles. "Ahhhh, this is just what I needed."

"I guess it has been a long time since you rode. Sorry about that."

"No. I had a great time. It's all good."

They converse easily for the rest of the afternoon, Lance learning more about JC than he knew before. He can barely take his eyes off JC's bare chest, but he tries his best to focus on his face. He keeps trying to find excuses to keep JC at the house, but it soon becomes evident that they've been in the hottub too long.

As they climb out, JC stumbles slightly, practically drunk on the heat and the steam and the relaxed feeling pervading his limbs. "Whoa," he says, laughing at himself.

Lance catches JC easily, holding onto him and laughing, too. "You okay?" But he doesn't let go.

"I'm fine, dude. Too long in the hottub, I guess."

"Here, have a towel, you'll get a chill," Lance says, still holding JC but reaching for the towel with the other hand. He wraps it around JC's shoulders and begins to rub lightly.

"Thanks. Hey, do you have some clothes I could borrow to get home in? I really don't want to put my dirty stuff back on."

"Sure, you can borrow anything you want. C'mon, you can pick out what you want in my bedroom."

"You're the best." JC follows Lance upstairs and finds some sweats and a t-shirt. "I'll get these back to you," he says, enjoying the sensation of the soft fabric against his slightly damp skin.

Lance loves the way the simple, casual clothes look so sexy on JC's lithe body. "You can keep them as long as you like. And if you want, you can leave your dirty clothes here and I'll throw them in with my stuff."

"Aw, you don't have to do that. Do you spoil all your friends like this?"

"Only my best friends."

"I had a great time today," JC says.

"Me too. Maybe we can do it again next time we have some days off. Like, maybe when we're in LA, we can go riding on the beach."

"That would be excellent." JC pauses, uncomfortable. Does he ask Lance to drive him home? Does he offer to call a cab?

"So, um, I guess I better take you home."

"I could, like, call a cab, if you . . . you know . . . I mean, you were going to get some work done and I kept you from it."

"That's okay. It's not far. After all, I dragged you out today."

JC smiles. "That's cool." They head back out to Lance's truck for the short drive to JC's house. When they arrive, JC digs through his dirty clothing to find his keys. "Thanks, Lance. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too." He resists the urge to kiss JC. And with the way things went today, he's not sure JC would want to. On the drive home, though, Lance can't stop smiling as he remembers JC on the horse, his hair flowing behind him as he galloped along, or his muscles wet with the bubbles from the hottub. If only JC knew how he felt!

JC lets himself into his house, stretching again as he moves to the laundry room to deposit his clothing. He moves through the house again, plopping himself down on the couch and flipping on the TV with the remote. He smiles when he sees horses on one of the channels and stops there. JC reflects on his day. He and Lance have never particularly hung out together. It's usually Joey that Lance calls when he wants to do something. So JC had been a little surprised at the invitation, but it turned out to be a great day.

The boys are in the recording studio the entire next day, but the day after they'll be filming a short PSA, which will only take a few hours. Lance catches up with JC as they head to their cars in the studio parking lot. "Hey, JC, I was thinking of cooking dinner at my place. You interested?"

JC is momentarily startled. Then he realizes--Lance must be trying to fix him up with Beth. He considers. Beth is very sweet. He doesn't know if he's attracted to her, but it can't hurt to find out. "Yeah, sounds great."

"Good. Come by around 7."

"Can I bring anything? Wine?"

"Sure, that would be great." Lance practically tingles with excitement as he anticipates their second "date." The next day he makes every effort to sit next to JC or be close to him whenever possible, and as soon as the shoot wraps he hurries home to shop and prepare. He chooses a nice satin shirt and jeans, with his favorite cowboy boots. When 7:00 arrives, he's in the kitchen chopping vegetables.

JC arrives with two bottles of wine. When he'd gone to choose, he'd realized that he hadn't asked what Lance was making. He rings the doorbell, runs a hand through his hair, and waits.

Lance wipes his hand on a towel and checks himself in the bathroom mirror quickly before answering the door. There's a moment when he's not sure if he should hug JC, but decides against it. There will be time for that later. "Hi. Come on in," he says, making a sweeping gesture with his arm as he holds open the door.

"Hi. Thanks." JC walks in and turns to Lance. He holds up the wine. "I didn't know what you were making. Or what you guys like."

"I hope you like casseroles. It's a Bass family recipe."

"Yeah. Sure I do."

"This one's special." He leads JC into the kitchen where he takes the wine. "Do these have to be chilled?"

"The white does. So what IS in the casserole?"

"It's a secret recipe. Okay, it's ground beef, vegetables, and noodles. But it's so good. Trust me."

"I do trust you. I was just asking because of the wine. We should go with the red."

"Oh. Okay." He puts the white in the refrigerator and asks, "Would you like some now?"

"Yeah. Would you like me to open it?"

"Thanks." Lance locates a corkscrew and then retrieves the glasses from the candlelit table in the dining area.

JC busies himself with the corkscrew, then fills the glasses with the rich, red wine. He hands one to Lance. "There you go."

"Thanks." Lance takes a sip of the tangy, dry wine. "Mmm, this is good. You really know your wines."

"I'm getting there." JC says, a little shyly. "I'm glad you like it."

"I do. Oh, let me put on some music." He scurries to the CD player and pops in the Sting CD he selected especially for tonight. JC smiles appreciatively, his body unconsciously responding to the music as he sways a little in time. "Can I help with anything?"

"Can you toss the salad?"

"Sure." JC tosses the salad, while Lance checks the casserole in the oven. The kitchen is filled with the comfortable smells of home cooking, and they work in companionable silence. Lance had already put the casserole in the oven before JC arrived, so it's not long before it's ready. He lights the candles on the table and returns to the kitchen, ordering JC to sit so he can serve the meal properly, like his mother taught him. First, he brings out the salad and some shrimp cocktails. He tries to remain relaxed, but he wonders for a moment if the candles are too much.

JC realizes belatedly that the table is set for two. He wonders what happened to Beth, but decides not to bring it up. Lance probably feels badly enough about having to make all this effort just for him. Maybe Beth had balked at the idea of being fixed up. Or maybe she just didn't like him.

Lance makes small talk as best he can, but he senses something's not right. Maybe he read JC all wrong. Maybe it was silly for Lance to expect JC to like him as much as he likes JC. After all, they've never outwardly discussed their sexual preferences. Some things, they all felt, were private. Still, as the wine flows and they begin the next course, Lance hangs on to that thread of hope.

JC takes a bite of Lance's concoction. "This is really good. I didn't know you could cook like this."

"This is pretty easy. My mom taught me. And you've had her cooking."

"That's different, though. She's a mom. You're . . . a guy. You're Lance."

"Guys can't cook? Ohhhh, I see--you just didn't think I could cook."

"I didn't say that. I said I didn't know you could. There's a difference."

"There's a lot about me that you don't know," Lance says slyly.

"I'm sure there is. We never really, you know, hung out like this before."

"Not unless we're on tour."

"Not even then. Not you and me. With the other guys, sure. But not, well, just us."

Lance is glad for the cover of the candlelight, because he's sure his cheeks are red, and not just from the wine. But he uses that as an excuse. "More wine?"

"Sure. Thanks." JC sips and thinks about what a peaceful person Lance is to hang with. No drama, no noise, just comfortable friendship. "So, what's next for you with Free Lance?"

"I haven't had much time to sign anyone new. We're working with Ryan to get his first album together and get him on a label." Lance knows that talking business isn't JC's prime interest, but he's glad that he's asking about it anyway. They talk easily through the main course and dessert--Lance's favorite Chocolate Dream Pie.

At some point around dessert, they open the other bottle of wine, and, as the candles burn down, they continue talking in the relaxed, shorthandy way that time and proximity have given them.

"So, um what do you want to do now? You want to shoot some pool?"

"I was gonna offer to help with the dishes, but pool sounds like more fun."

Lance waves a hand at the table. "The dishes can wait. The pool table's calling." He leads JC to the game room, where there's a refrigerator in one corner. He retrieves a couple of bottles of Mike's and then racks up the balls. "So what should we play for? Joey always makes me play for something."

"Now I know why you invited me. Joey's a better player than me. You just wanted someone you could beat."

"I don't know about that. I've seen you play--you're good with a stick. I mean, like, shooting pool. So what do you want to play for?"

JC ponders. "If I win, you have to come to a jazz club with me some night."

Lance considers as he chalks up his cue. "Okay. And if I win you have to get a tattoo." He waits for JC's reaction, then smiles. "Just kidding. If I win . . . you have sing a David Cassidy song at the karaoke bar."

JC throws back his head and roars with laughter. "You're on."

At first, Lance was going to throw the game just to be able to go on another date with JC, but when JC agreed to his prize, he couldn't resist at least trying for it. It's a close game, too, until JC sinks the eight ball, sealing Lance's fate. "Lucky shot," Lance says with a wink.

"You just have a secret desire to learn about jazz."

"Maybe I do. There's got to be a reason you like it."

"It's just so free, but within a structure. I think . . . I think jazz is the way my mind works."

"I like that. However it works, it's a good thing--look at the songs you write."

"Except I don't write jazzy at all."

"No, but you tap into different music styles to get what you want."

"I do? I guess I do." JC smiles at Lance, and their eyes meet. "When did you get so easy to talk to?"

This comment surprises Lance, and he shrugs. "I thought I always was."

"Maybe you were. I just, you know, don't really talk about, like, my 'creative process.' " JC gives the works an "in quotes" kind of sound. "But I can just talk to you."

"That's what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, it is." JC realizes he's still staring intently into Lance's eyes and looks away, confused.

Lance senses the moment has passed when he could justifiably make a move, so he spins his cue and pushes away from the table, which he'd been leaning against. "So, um, what do you want to do now? Go to a club? See a movie?"

"A movie sounds good. I'm kind of, you know, mellow. Or you could fulfill your jazz club obligation tonight."

"You up to it?"

"Yeah. You got a newspaper?"

"Sure. Follow me." They head to Lance's study, where the day's paper is stacked on the coffee table. They find a local club not too far away, and decide to take Lance's car.

"I think you'll like this combo," JC says as they ride along. "It's, like, not weird jazz, you know, but not too traditional, either."

"Like that crazy kind of music, where it's like . . . " and he moves around and makes a kind of erratic noise.

JC laughs, slipping around in the seat himself. "Yeah, NOT like that."

Lance continues smiling, his eyes lit by JC's laughter. He wonders if he'll always be able to make JC laugh like that. He puts it on his list of goals.

They arrive at the club and are seated at an unobtrusive table. "What are you drinking?" JC asks.

"Jack and Coke." Lance's eyes wander the dimly lit room, clouded with a fine haze of cigarette smoke.

The waiter comes over, greets JC as a semiregular and gives Lance an assessing look. JC orders a half-bottle of wine for himself and Lance's Jack and Coke. He glances at his watch. "They should be on in a few."

After a couple of songs, Lance is surprised by how much he's enjoying this. He's always tried to listen to different kinds of music, but he's never actually sat in a club and listened to a jazz band before. "This is great," he tells JC between sets.

"You really like it? You're not just humoring me?"

"Would I lie?"

"Nope." JC takes a sip of his wine and sits back, content. "I'm glad this is fun for you, too."

"I like trying stuff that you like."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I'll try anything."

"That's cool. You're really open to new stuff."

"No reason not to be. I like learning new things. Like this music. It's not something I normally listen to, but I'm glad we came."

"Me too." JC's not sure why, but it seems like he has the best times lately when he's with Lance.

Late in the night, or early in the morning, they head back to Lance's house. Lance doesn't want the night to end, but he's still not sure JC understands how he feels about him. He parks in front of the house and looks at JC. "Thanks for coming over and for taking me to that club. It was really fun."

"Yeah. I had a great time. Seems like I always do, with you."

"Well, I, um, hope we can have more good times."

"Definitely. You're my new favorite person to hang with."

"Aw, really?"

"Yeah." JC smiles brightly at Lance. "Yeah, really."

This is the point where normally Lance would kiss his date, but nothing about tonight was normal. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Impulsively, JC pulls Lance into a man-hug. "Thanks. For everything."

Lance doesn't linger. He pulls away like he normally does, only holding JC's hand a fraction longer than he normally would. "It was my pleasure." He watches as JC gets into his car, waving as JC pulls away. As he walks into the house, Lance's heart beats steadily as he remembers every wonderful detail of the night.

The next day, Lance arrives at the shoot early, smiling as he sips his coffee. Even on a PSA shoot, there's much sitting around and waiting, so the boys find ways to amuse themselves by playing games and making calls. Lance calls Wendy and Beth to check in on some Happy Place Business, and Chris, Justin, and Joey play video games.

JC, bored and restless, starts flipping through a pile of magazines. He comes upon an *NSYNC interview, expecting to be highly amused by their semifictional selves. Instead, he's stunned. He's reading along happily when he comes across a section where Lance was asked what he likes to do on a date. He's already on to the next section but his eyes are drawn back. "Something adventurous, like horseback riding...the most romantic thing, a picnic...I'll cook dinner..." JC slaps the magazine shut. So, what? Lance thinks we're dating. Or WANTS them to be dating? But I'm not . . . we're not . . .

The PA starts corralling the boys for the next shoot, and Lance goes to find JC. He finds him in the Green Room, seated with a stack of magazines. "Hey, we're ready to go." But there's a strange look on JC's face. "You okay?"

JC looks up blindly. "Um, yeah. Just . . . zoned." JC pushes the magazine into his backpack and gets up. "What are we doing?"

"We're gonna do a straight run-through. They said things are running on schedule, so it shouldn't take too long. Want to catch a movie later?"

"I, um, I can't. I've got stuff to do."

Lance heart sinks. Everything had been going so well. He thought for sure that he was right about JC, that the rumors of him being bisexual or even gay were true. How could he be so wrong about him? "Oh, right. Okay. Maybe I'll just see what Joey's doing."

"Yeah," JC agrees with an unexpected twinge of regret. "That's a good idea."

Puzzled, Lance leaves JC and returns to the set, and for the rest of the day he gives JC some space. Maybe he's been pushing it, he tells himself. Maybe he's being too clingy. When the shoot wraps, Lance, a little sadly, says goodbye and heads off with Joey and Steve to the movies.

JC just gets in his car and drives. It's the best way he knows to think, to sort things out. If Lance wanted to date him, why didn't he just say so? Maybe because he's never admitted out loud to anyone, Lance included, that he might be bi? He remembers how Lance always seemed like he wanted to say something more. He remembers how hurt Lance looked today when he brushed him off.

No matter how hard he tries, Lance can't seem to concentrate on the movie. He's usually very capable of pushing aside his problems and focusing his mind elsewhere, but this time it's different. He really likes JC.

Joey, Steve, and Lance go out for a bite to eat and head to Tabu after, so it's very late when Lance returns home.

JC had driven around for hours, finally deciding that he had to talk to Lance. So he'd driven to Lance's house and waited, falling into a light sleep that ends abruptly when he hears Lance's car door slam.

Lance doesn't see JC's car as he walks to the door, key in hand.

JC jumps out of his car. "Lance?" he says softly, not wanting to startle his friend.

Lance spins around. "JC? What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

The four words every guy dreads. And the man Lance is falling for just said them. "Um, okay. Come inside." He holds the door open, punches in the security code, and closes the door behind them. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thanks. I'm all set."

Lance tosses his jacket on a chair and sits on the couch. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Lance, I'm sorry. I--I didn't know."

"Didn't know what?"

"I didn't know when I was thinking 'hanging out,' you were thinking 'date.' "

"Oh." Lance's leg starts bouncing. "Listen, JC, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry if it, like, weirded you out."

"I just . . . wish I'd have known is all."

"I'm sorry. I should have been more up-front about it. I shouldn't have assumed . . ."

"Assumed what?"

"That, um, . . . you sure you don't want anything to drink?"

"I'm sure. Assumed what? That I would know what was going on? What?"

Lance swallows hard. "That you're, you know, gay."

"Um, well, bi."

"You are? I mean, we've all heard the rumors." Lance rolls his eyes and shakes his head. That was a stupid thing to say. There were hundreds of rumors about them that they usually just laughed at.

JC relaxes a little for the first time since this conversation began."You? Listening to rumors?"

"No, not really. I didn't listen to what anyone said. I just thought you might be."

"You never though about, oh, I don't know, asking me?"

"It's kind of personal."

"Personal? There's no personal with us--all of us. After living on that bus? You could asked me."

"I guess I felt kind of strange saying, 'Hey, JC, are you gay?' "

"Well, when you put it that way . . ." JC pauses. "I feel like an idiot for not seeing what was going on."

"I feel like an idiot for acting like we were on a date. It must have been pretty embarrassing for you."

"No, no. You didn't do . . . you didn't act . . ."

Lance's eyes wander the room, as they often do when he's faced with a difficult situation. "I'm sorry I put you in such an awkward position. I promise, I won't bother you anymore about this, and we can go back to being just friends. I mean, not that we weren't just friends before. Shit, I must have acted like a stalker."

JC puts a hand on Lance's arm. "It's okay. You're not a stalker." He pauses, breathes. "Maybe we should, you know, give it a try. Like, dating when we both know we're on a date."

"You mean, you would go out with me?"

"Yeah. I like spending time with you. Maybe, with time, it could be something more."

"Okay. I think I can live with that. But no pressure. Whatever you decide, I'll go along with. If it doesn't feel right for you, just tell me."

"I can do that. But I have a feeling it won't be necessary."

"I hope so. But JC, when did you realize?"

"Realize which part? That you were taking me out on dates without my knowledge? Or that I might like you back."

"Both."

"Don't laugh, okay? There was a pile of teenie magazines in the studio, and I started flipping through one because I was bored. And they asked you what you like to do on a date, and you listed all this stuff. And it was all the stuff we'd been doing."

"Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing," Lance moans, giggling and looking at his lap. "I can't believe you read that."

"I can't either. But I'm glad I did. Well, not right away. I have to admit, I was a little freaked when I first read it."

"Oh." Lance begins to fidget again, deeply mortified that the man he has a crush on is sitting right here, knowing exactly how he feels about him, but learned it from the pages of a teen gossip magazine. "This is really . . . embarrassing."

"Really. We'll have to come up with a better story than this."

"Better how?"

"No teenie mags. No misunderstandings."

Lance takes a deep breath. "You got it. But it's true--about what I said in that magazine."

"I figured that out. I drove around for hours and hours, thinking. After I stopped being freaked, all I could think was how bad it must have been for you--you doing all those special things for me and me oblivious."

"What about it, like, freaked you out?"

"Just, you know, that I didn't know what was going on."

"I don't usually do it this way. I like to ask someone out first, then date them. Not the other way around."

"Why don't we try this again. Is there something you'd like to ask me?"

Lance straightens. "Um, yeah. See, Janet Jackson's gonna be in town on Thursday for a show. Would you like to go with me?"

"I'd like that a lot."

"Me too. It could be pretty romantic and, you know, I'm a romantic guy."

"So I've read."

Lance covers his face and groans. "I'll never live that down!"

"Maybe, but it'll just be between you and me. No reason to tell the guys."

"No! Chris would never let me hear the end of it."

"It'll be our secret."

"So now I have to go out with you, or you'll tell."

"Aw, I wouldn't do that."

"So you're doing this of your own free will?"

JC grins. "Yeah. Being of sound mind and body and all."

"I'd say your body is pretty sound."

"Why, James Lance Bass! You're only after me for my body!"

"Whoa, full name. That's serious."

"Then it's true?"

"I didn't say that."

"You don't want my body?"

"Oh my goodness, um, yes, of course, but, um, not on the first date."

"Isn't it more like the third date?"

"You didn't know the first two were dates. I didn't even kiss you."

"Maybe you could kiss me now."

Lance's heart pounds in his chest. Kissing JC is something he's wanted to do for a long time. And now that he has the opportunity, he's not sure what to do. "This isn't exactly a date."

"No. But we could . . . if you wanted to."

"Do you?"

JC nods silently. Lance smiles, then looks down, then back at JC. He laughs to himself--he's kissed dozens of girls and guys before, yet suddenly he feels like it's the first time. Should he put his arm around JC? Should he just plant one on him? He takes one of JC's hands, so strong and capable, his own so small and almost delicate. The room is quiet, except for the thrumming of his heart and their quiet breaths. He moistens his lips, silently praying his breath is okay, and closes his eyes. Slowly, he closes the gap between himself and JC. But then he freezes. "I can't," he whispers.

"I can," JC replies, kissing Lance softly, chastely.

Lance starts to speak but his words are muffled by JC's soft, sensual lips. It's the sweetest, most perfect kiss Lance has ever experienced. "Cheater," he murmurs.

"Who, me?"

"Yeah, you," Lance replies with a leer.

"I'm taking back my kiss."

"You can't take it back. But you can have another." This time it's Lance who makes the move, a slow, lingering kiss.

"Two kisses. One for each date we've already had."

"You're so demanding. But I like that." Lance complies, making the second kiss more passionate than the first.

"I guess that answers the 'do we have chemistry?' question," JC murmurs when they separate.

"I had no doubts."

"You're so much smarter than me."

"Nah. If I was smart, I would have told you I liked you."

"If I was smart I would've figured it out before this."

"See, so we should go out because we're both too stupid to date anyone else."

"Okay, but I draw the line at matching 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirts."

Lance hangs his head and sighs. "Guess I better return them tomorrow."

"Does that mean we're going shopping?"

"You want to? Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. But no automotives."

"Okay. See, I have to buy something to wear on this date I have on Thursday."

"I hope your date appreciates it."

"I have a feeling he will."

"But will Janet?"

Lance smacks JC with a pillow. "Janet is HOT--but my date's much hotter."

JC grabs the pillow and pokes Lance with it. "Good answer."

"I think I have pretty good taste in boys."

"You do? You have, like, boys in reserve in case I don't work out?"

"Well, it's always good to be prepared," Lance says, his face taking on a mask of sincerity.

JC thwaps Lance with the pillow. "Nice to know I'm unique," he pouts.

Lance grabs another pillow and thwaps JC back. "You're one of a kind."

"I bet you say that to all the boys."

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